Wind-Back Wednesday ~ Mothers Day (from a Daughter's Perspective)

We all love to our kids to remember Mothers Day - but do we do the same for our own Mums?

MY MOTHERS DAY

Mothers Day brings all kind of feelings my way. I get caught up in waiting for my "kids" to call and reading posts on facebook from friends who have their kids nearby and put up happy snaps. I always seem to want more from the day than what it actually provides.

WHAT ABOUT MY MUM?

One thing I've realized lately is that I haven't really spent much time at all thinking about my own mum and how she's feeling on the day. I always buy her a present and give her a call.  Sometimes I make the trip to see her in person but often that has to wait a while and for the day it's a  phone call - just like I get from my kids.

MOTHERING CAN IMPROVE WITH TIME

My mum and I seem to have grown closer over the years, I certainly don't remember having the same strong relationship with her that I've had with my daughter all through the years. I know that during my childhood, teens and through the first couple of decades of adulthood, she was present but not really deeply connected. 

That seems to have changed since my dad developed Alzheimers and became less of a focus for her and she started being more available to my brothers and myself. It also tied in with the passing of her own mother, and I suppose she now has more time to think about me and to talk about stuff, and through that we have drawn closer.

TRAVELLING TOGETHER

Several years ago we went on two trips to Europe together (the photo above is from the many we took!) and those were really special times where we discovered that we didn't drive each other crazy being together all the time and we settled into a new stage of mother/daughter relationship. She also discovered that she loves overseas travel and has been zipping off every chance she's had since then.

This year she is about to set off to see England and cruise around Norway. For the first time ever she'll be using the internet. Now that she is the proud owner of an IPad there is no stopping her and I'm sure she'll be one of those tourists holding it up in the air to take pictures! It's great to see her catching up with the online generation and maybe this time there'll be an email or two from her while she's away.


Happiness Is... knowing you're never too old to call your Mum


THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT

Now Mum is busy on her IPad every day, she has discovered my blog and reads it without fail - (it's nice to know that someone in the family is interested!) I like the fact that I don't have to censor myself or worry about what she will think about this post, because she knows that she is a valued part of my life.

We're quite different people and her style of parenting has made me a very independent woman, but there is still that bond between us that is growing stronger as the years go by. I really love the fact that we didn't miss out on the closeness that this last decade has brought. Some women never get to know what it is like to be close to their Mums and that is just a sad fact of life. I'm grateful that I'm not one of them and I can truly say this Mothers Day that being her daughter is just the best. 

Love you Mum xx
We all love to our kids to remember Mothers Day - but do we do the same for our own Mums?


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Windback Wednesday ~ www.crestingthehill.com.au

45 comments

  1. Leanne, I will be down Sat arvo in plenty of time to enjoy Mothers' Day with you. Going back home Tues in time to leave for my trip on Wed. I am trying to get all the family together for a Mothers' Day meal, just waiting to hear back from DIL to see what her Mum is doing on the day. Looking forward to our hugs then. Love, Mum. xoxo

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    1. Looking forward to some family time and catching up - nothing like a few laughs with the boys and all those dogs to keep us company xx

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  2. Lovely post, Leanne, and your mom's comment just makes it. How special is that?

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    1. Thanks Shirley - she knows how I feel about things like Mothers Day and it's nice to have some family to share the day with - hope your day is special too x

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  3. I appreciate everything you're saying here about the evolution of a mother-daughter relationship. So much of my own experience as a parent deepened my appreciation for my mother, and I think about making the most of our years together, the ones that are over and those in the future.

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    1. I think you gradually find your 'sweet spot' with your mum as the years go by don't you Susan? My mum and I seem to have found ours and I'm so glad we've had the chance to make that deeper connection over the last several years.

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  4. Beautiful Leanne, you are very lucky to still have your Mother...I wish I did...

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    1. I know Renee - so many Midlife women don't have their mums any more - and it's often not til this stage of life that we really start to appreciate them. I'm so sorry you don't have your mum around anymore. x

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  5. Wonderful post. Made me miss my mother in a good way. That's a compliment!

    ~pia
    http://courtingdestiny.com

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    1. Thanks Pia - I'm glad I gave you a positive moment of missing your mum - it's good to have those memories to go back over as Mothers Day looms.

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  6. This was so sweet, Leanne! I look forward to getting to do some of these things with my daughter.

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    1. It's a lovely thing to look forward to Lee - not sure what the future holds for me and my daughter, but it's been wonderful to have had the opportunity to travel with my mum.

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  7. What a lovely photo of you both and you are lucky to still have your mum. Having lost mine 30 years ago I still miss her and the relationship we may have had as I grew older. Isn't it great that your mum supports you with the blog as I agree most families always look at blogging as Why??? Have a great day!

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    1. You're right about the blogging thing Sue - I think my Mum is the only non-blogger I know who actually thinks what I do is great. It's nice to have a cheer leader in the family. I also know how much you still miss your mum, but you'll be doing your Mother/Daughter marathon on Sunday and that's pretty special in itself x

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  8. A simply gorgeous post Leanne. I know what you mean about different mother/daughter relationships to those with own daughters. I feel the same way. My mum also reads all my blog posts and often comments. I did a lovely post a few years ago now where I compared my life at age 53 to my mothers life at the same age and I learnt a great deal more about her during that time. All the best for Mother's Day, hope it's a nice day for you both.

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    1. Thanks so much Deb - it's nice having Mums who take an interest in what we do isn't it? I find it hard to believe that I am at the age my Mum was when she had teenage grandchildren - things are quite different for me with one little grandbaby, but there are similarities from that age and stage too.

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  9. I'm a completely different sort of mum than my mother is - but I understand my mother so much more as I'm getting older. We usually catch up with Mum on the day, but this year we're up in the Sunshine Coast so I won't see her. I think it will be strange. #TeamLovinLife

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    1. You summed it up perfectly Jo - my mum and I parented quite differently but she seems to have managed to have three kids who all love her and want to spend time with her whenever she's available, so she must have done something right along the way!

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  10. Such a lovely post Leanne, and I love that photo of you and your Mum! I am very lucky to still have my Mum too. Just spoke to her today on the phone. She and Dad (who is 10.5 years older than her) and my siblings are all coming here on Sunday for Mother's Day and to celebrate some of our May birthdays. We are very fortunate. :-) #TeamLovinLife

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    1. You'll have such a great time Min - it's those family get-togethers that create the best memories. I'm seeing Mum and both my brothers for Mothers Day lunch - it will be a fun time of catching up and I'm sure my poor husband will be rolling his eyes at the anecdotes that are told and re-told every time :)

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  11. That was such a lovely read and happy Mother's Day to you both!!

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    1. Thanks so much Denyse - and I hope you have a lovely day on Sunday too - it's a tricky day where we face our successes and our failures but that's part of the Mothers Day baggage isn't it?

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  12. I like your sign. Happiness is knowing you're never too old to call your mum. So true. So grateful my mother is still in my world and at the other end of a phone.
    #teamlovinlife

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    1. I am too Leanne - especially when I read the posts of other Midlifers who are missing their mums for Mothers Day - it makes me glad I still have mine around to laugh with and to chat on the phone to.

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  13. I wish that were the case with my mother. After years of working together and spending almost everyday in each other's company, I find that she has become very self centered and demanding. I don't know if it's an age thing or what to make of it. I just find myself becoming more and more angry that she refuses to find joy in anything anymore and critizees everything and everybody. She was never like this before!

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    1. I sometimes wonder if personality changes like that are the beginning of Dementia Grammie O - I know my father-in-law was always the loveliest and easy going-est of men but over the last couple of years he's become more critical and less patient and quite cantankerous at times - I think they start to lose that part of their brain that keeps the peace and they are much quicker to complain - a real shame because it pushes away those who care for them.

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  14. Lovely post :) Honest and authentic and not too gushy - but it touched a chord. Hope you have a lovely Mothers' Day this Sunday :)

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    1. Thanks so much Jo - it's nice to have reached a stage where we know each other's good and bad traits and yet still get on so well. It will be lovely having her here to celebrate Mothers Day - having some family around on the day is what makes it special.

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  15. I agree with you about Mother's Day Leanne. It can be a bit of a let down if you have any expectations of it. Sadly, this will be my first Mother's Day without my Mum, as she passed away in September last year. I was hoping to do something special but both our teens are working, so I guess it will just be another day for me :) #TeamLovinLife

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    1. I'm so sorry about your mum's passing Lyndall - it will definitely be a tough Mothers Day for you. I often think of those who have no Mum any more or whose children aren't connected for whatever reason - it makes it a rough day to get through. I hope you still get some love from your teens on the day xx

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  16. It brought tears to my eyes reading your comment Lyndal. My mother passed 7 years ago at 98.. She was a very sweet reserved lady and I miss her terribly. We spent many hours together in latter years just sitting together having cups of tea and chatting. Those times were very special and it is only after your mum has passed that you realise how glad you are that you had those times together. Now I am enjoying Leanne's company and I always look forward to our lunches and chats, both in person or on the phone. Happy Mother's Day to all mums.

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  17. Enjoyed reading about you and your mom. Loved that she even commented on this post! Who knows, she might start blogging too :) Love the pic of you and her, looks like you all were having a fun time. Thank you Leanne for attending the #WednesdayAIMLinkParty. I shared your post.

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    1. I think Mum's thought about blogging but says it's not her thing - maybe that's not a bad thing - I'm not sure if the world is ready to read all her thoughts! She's completely addicted to FB and Pinterest though :)

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    2. Have you seen the mothers and daughters who blog together or share a blog? Wouldn't it be cool for you, your mom, and your daughter to collaborate on such? My daughter would say NO! without hesitation :( Thank you Leanne for linking up at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I shared this post.

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    3. Dee - I think I'll keep my blog for myself - my daughter doesn't like what I blog about and my Mum is too busy out partying with her Red Hatter friends and travelling to bother writing anything - which might be a good thing!

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  18. Great photo of you and your mum! Treasure these years that you have with your mother when you can relate to each other as two mature women. It's so meaningful. Thank you for sharing at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I'm sharing your post on social media.

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    1. Thanks Carol - it has been a great decade getting to know Mum on a different level - I think I've mellowed a bit with age and I understand her more these days.

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  19. It's so nice that you have a newfound closeness with your mom. I lost my mom when I was just 31. Treasure your time with her!

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    1. Thanks Lori - it's only been the last decade or so that I've really come to appreciate her and our relationship - I guess we've both slowed down enough to take the time to connect more. I'm so sorry you don't have that opportunity with your mum xx

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  20. I so wish I still had my Mum, Leanne. How lovely for you both and such a beautiful photo. Thanks for sharing with us at #blogginggrandmotherslinkparty. I've shared on social media.

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    1. Hi Sue - I know how much you miss your Mum and that's part of the reason why I've come to appreciate mine more in recent years. She was young when she had me so we have had the extra time together - which has been lovely.

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  21. How nice for ou and your Mom to find each other in this way. Thank you for linking up at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I shared this post.

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    1. Thanks Clearissa - it's been a lovely opportunity to acknowledge her and our relationship - I think she liked the post (which is what counts)

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  22. I think it's lovely how our relationships evolve. Of course, I'd love to remain close to our daughter (not yet 8!) and there's no reason, other than the teenage years, why this can't/won't happen. I've a healthy relationship with my mum and know now how hard it can be to be a good parent!! #lovinlifelinky

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    1. Having a lovely relationship with your mum is such a special thing Carol - I love that my mum and I have found that connection and the ability to enjoy each other now that we have more time.

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