CREATING A NEW DEFINITION OF NORMAL IN MIDLIFE
Midlife for me is defining myself within a new set of parameters. I've discovered that there is a new meaning to the word "normal" for women of my age and stage. We're not content to be pigeon holed into the role of grandma or house mother to adult "failing to launch" children. We're not sitting at home waiting to claim the pension. We're reinventing ourselves and Midlife is taking on a whole new look.WHAT DO YOU SEE AS NORMAL FOR MIDLIFE?
I've met so many women in their 50's who think Midlife has nothing to offer. They feel lost because their adult children have flown the nest and they haven't made any plans on how to fill the empty spaces. They might talk about creating a sewing room in a spare bedroom, or starting a new hobby....but meanwhile they're treading water.These women keep their children's rooms as shrines - complete with toys, trophies, old clothes and other paraphernalia their children left behind and didn't value enough to take with them. They sit waiting for a phone call or a visit and all they talk about is what their child is doing - they have nothing of their own to focus on.
HOW DO YOU FASHION A NEW NORMAL?
It's easy to say that Midlife is great, but how do you get from thinking you're invisible to seeing yourself as valuable and interesting and relevant? How do you open up your world again and start really living?The first step is to re-think your own version of Midlife - it's not boring, beige, middle age, it's so much more! The vision I have for Midlife is summed up in my blog name - Cresting the Hill - I see this as the stage of life where the hard slog is behind us and we can kick back and enjoy the view from the top. How each of us does that is unique to the individual.
You need to try new things, be brave and step out of the rut you've created for yourself. If you're looking for inspiration then I'd love you to use the Search function in the sidebar of my blog - put in "happiness" or "midlife" and read some of my posts. Look at what your friends are doing and take note - if you don't have many friends, start thinking about how you can find some new ones. Friends are our backbone, they support us and encourage us and give us the opportunity to laugh at ourselves and move forward.
WHERE TO START
Why not start by making a list of things that interest you? Note down hobbies that you used to have but stopped doing when the kids took up all your time. Look around for groups you can join. I surprised myself by joining a Tai Chi class at my local Senior Citizens - I joined by myself (very scary for me) and I found out that Senior Cits are actually not as old as they sound and they offer so many interesting activities at a very low cost. I'm thinking of taking up a gym class there next - or maybe learning to play the ukulele!Once you have a few things on your list, stretch your parameters a little bit further - what would you like to try that's new and a little out of your comfort zone. For me it was taking classes in stained glass making and creating a beautiful stair rail for our home that receives compliments from visitors all the time. It's such a boost to my self-esteem to see something I've created that adds beauty to our home. What have you wondered about doing? What have you saved on Pinterest or in your Favourites folder? Is there something you could tackle that would boost your self worth?
MIDLIFE AND BLOGGING
Blogging has been a wonderful gift - I started this blog with no expectations and no agenda. It was on a whim and I thought it would be a flash in the pan. Little did I know, this blog has grown and flourished and brought me more joy than I could ever have imagined. The connections, the encouragement, the skills, the joy of putting my thoughts down and having others respond - priceless!If you think blogging might be fun then have a go - you can start a blog on Google's Blogger platform for free. If you already have a blog then why not join me on Wednesdays for our Midlife Share The Love Party - it's a great way to meet other Midlife bloggers. Don't underestimate the power of putting your thoughts down on paper or in a blog - it can clarify a lot of the uncertainty you might be feeling.
MIDLIFE WOMEN AND THE NEW NORMAL
I feel blessed to have discovered so many women online and in real life, who are creating a new "normal" that is Midlife - not "middle aged" or "over the hill" or invisible, or "worn out and worn down". No, we are vibrant and trying new things (even if they scare us a little bit!) We're having fun and we're not our mothers or our grandmothers. We're not our daughters either - we don't need to compete because we have something different and we are celebrating it.If you're not feeling like this yet, it's not too late. Start today - write a list, look around you, chat to a friend, join a club, read a book, step outside into the sunshine, just start living a life that brings you joy. We're on the crest of the hill and the second half of life is in front of us - let's make it the best half of life!
RELATED POSTS
To keep up to date with my posts, feel free to add your email into the spot especially for it on my sidebar and I'd love you to share this post by clicking on a share button before you go xx
This post was shared at some of these great link parties
I love this and let me just say that I need to keep your positive outlook as I do enter mid-life myself now, too! ;)
ReplyDeletemidlife gets you either way Janine - choosing to see all the good bits certainly makes it a lot more fun!
DeleteYou have a great outlook! :-)
ReplyDeletethanks Lisa - and thanks for the prompt :)
DeleteThat's right! Midlife represents a new beginning, and we each define what that beginning is.
ReplyDeleteYes Jennifer, we all do it differently but putting ourselves out there and enjoying it is what it's all about isn't it? :)
DeleteHi Leanne, I feel lucky to be middle aged in today's society. Age really isn't a big deal these days, well not as big a deal as it used to be and I think that's down to people embracing middle age, rather than being afraid to be who they are. I maybe nearer to fifty than forty, but I don't feel a day over thirty.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! #WAYWOW
xx
Hi Deb - yes midlife is a lot different to what it was 50 years ago! I love that we are still young and vibrant and not wearing cardigans and slippers just yet (well not all the time anyway!)
DeleteHi Leanne! YES to the "new normal!" I agree that there are so many awesome women bloggers who are demonstrating what midlife and beyond can be. And aren't we all so lucky to have our blogs and the internet helping us demonstrate that to the world. ~Kathy
ReplyDeleteHi Kathy - you are so right - finding such an inspiring group or women at a similar age and stage has made such a difference to how I see this stage of life. Thanks for being one of them! :)
DeleteRight on, Leanne! While I enjoy the benefits of being in my 40's, I still feel like I am 24 in many ways, and I like it. I will not be defined by my age (except not to act foolish for it, LOL!) Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI think that's so true Regina about not letting our age define us - we are who we are and we all do it differently. I'm just so glad we have the opportunity to find out what makes us special.
DeleteThis is a beautiful quote & a beautiful out look to have! It's great that there are so many great blogs out there talking about the middle of life. #WAYWOW
ReplyDeleteI love that there are so many of us finding that we aren't "old" and that this stage of life offers us so much - as long as we are brave enough to have a go!
DeleteAgree, positive attitude is key! I took a new diagnosis and am turning it into a way to help others with their migraines, and am becoming a certified health & wellness coach too.
ReplyDeleteGood on you Stephanie!! I love that you've turned it around and making what could be an excuse to lie down and suffer, into something that has such a positive outcome. Looking forward to seeing where you go with it!
DeleteI'm celebrating midlife with you!
ReplyDeletethanks Monica - in my opinion it's the more the merrier!
DeleteI'm enjoying midlife a great deal. Hooray for your celebratory spirit.
ReplyDeleteExactly Karen - it's so much better than I thought it would be :)
DeleteYes! We need to see this stage of life for what it is...sheer joy and limitless opportunity! Well, mostly.
ReplyDeleteI like the disclaimer Tam - we are old enough and wise enough to know life can't be perfect all the time, but appreciating all the good bits and enjoying our freedom makes it seem pretty darn perfect most of the time!
DeleteThank you, Leanne, for this reminder that this time of life is to celebrate. I'm turning 60 next birthday and all I feel is grateful and jazzed for more! Uplifting post.
ReplyDeleteI think 60 is another new chapter Laurie - it will be interesting to see where we all go with that next decade - still young enough to make it an exciting one :)
DeleteAmen! I agree. I'm much more mature in thought now than I was in my 20s. Now I know more of the things I like and what I want to stand for. In my 20s I was a bit clueless about it all, now I kinda get it. It's odd to think of myself as middle aged, I feel like I'm still in my 30s, and I call myself a girl, woman sounds too stuffy for me. LOL I am a conundrum, but I'm comfortable with it now. So bring it on, middle age, I got you!
ReplyDeleteMe too Nikki - I'm thinking about writing a post on how different midlife/middle age is from what I pictured in my head. I love that we are vibrant and young (at heart?) and living lives we are excited about.
DeleteRight there with you! My blog is my mid-life reinvention! I love this stage of life. So many choices. And if you make a choice and it's not a good fit - you just go on to something else. Nothing to prove to anyone. Very freeing!
ReplyDeleteMy blog is the same Cathy - it's opened my eyes to a world of women who are celebrating midlife and trying new things and moving on if they aren't happy with their choices. I just love it!
DeleteWhat a great outlook! Thanks for much for linking up with #MadMidWeek blog hop! x
ReplyDeletemy pleasure Deb - hopefully it'll inspire you to know that midlife is something great rather than something to be dreaded :)
DeleteI am enjoying my 40s and yet knowing thats just a number and Being and feeling, thinking youthful, keeping active and always being grateful keeos me younger every day. When I meet my peers I get los of compliments so it must weok. I love your attitude and outlook. Keep rocking!
ReplyDeleteJulie Syl - Pit Stop Crew
Thanks Julie - I think age is a matter of attitude and gratitude too. It keeps us young if we have lots on our plate and new things to keep our minds busy. The April A-Z challenge is next on my list.
DeleteWhy should you be worn out or done Leanne. Anyone that thinks like this is crazy. People are living so much longer and better lives these days. Your life is what you make it, so make the most of it!
ReplyDeleteSally @ Life Loving
#LifeLovingLinkie
that's the plan Sally - no sitting down and waiting for retirement and the pension. There's so much out there waiting to be discovered (and blogging has been one of the surprises along the way)
DeleteSomeone just asked me the other day, if I could be any age, what would it be? I said NOW! (55)
ReplyDeleteOld enough to have wisdom (some anyway!), and yet young enough to do anything I want!
Friday Frivolity
That's probably the perfect combination isn't it? I love having the freedom (and the get up and go) to still do whatever takes my fancy, but the wisdom to know what matters and what doesn't.
DeleteI could not agree more and what an honour to be mentioned on your blog. I am in the best time of my life and loving it. Thanks for sharing at #overthemoon
ReplyDeleteyou were one of the first midlifers I met in this bloggging journey Jen and I love that we come from the same part of the world!
DeleteVibrant and fearless are two of the ways I think of you! I'm still on the "upward slog" but I love having such a positive role model showing me that I can look forward to all stages of life! :) #FridayFrivolity -- pinning and tweeting!
ReplyDeleteSarah that is such a huge compliment - thank you so much. Don't forget to stop and smell the roses as you climb the hill :)
Delete