Cresting The Hill

#12 DON'T PERSONALIZE THINGS

Wednesday 30 August 2017

Happiness Choice #12 - Don't take things personally - it's not all about you

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

My final tip in my 12 Choices for Happiness series for August is to stop personalizing everything. I left this one til last because it's the biggest stumbling block I have in the area of maintaining my happiness. I am a great one for over-thinking everything and taking responsibility for stuff that isn't really about me. I tend to worry about anything and everything and then let that seep into my soul and suck the happiness right out of my day.

There are a few things I need to remember when I want to slow this process down (I'm hoping to stop it one day but I'll take a reduction in frequency as a positive first step along the way!) I've noted a few pointers I'm working on below.

#11 APPRECIATE OTHERS

Monday 28 August 2017

Happiness Choice #11 - Appreciate the other people in your life and remember to tell them

SELF ABSORPTION

Life can seem a bit dull and gray at times. We can get caught up in our own little world and forget to appreciate all the small things that we take for granted. We become so absorbed in ourselves and forget to acknowledge the contributions of the people around us. We don't hear the compliments, we don't notice the little acts of kindness, and we wonder why we're feeling a bit flat.

#10 TREAT YOURSELF KINDLY

Friday 25 August 2017

KNOW YOUR INTRINSIC WORTH

We all need to find our sense of worth outside of anything we do or achieve. Every time we place our self worth in the hands of others we risk losing our happiness. People are fallible and even the ones we love the most can undervalue us or hurt us. We need to have an intrinsic sense of who we are and what really matters to us to help us smile through the ups and downs of life.

If we let others define our values and priorities we begin to say yes to everything, and wonder why we are left so exhausted and drained. We need to value our time and abilities, and not sell them to the lowest bidder. Knowing our worth is at the heart of learning to treat ourselves kindly.

#9 LEARN TO SAY NO

Wednesday 23 August 2017

WHAT IS IT ABOUT SAYING "NO"?

I don't know if it's an oldest child thing, or a generational thing, or a personality thing, but I know I have a lot of trouble saying "No" to people. I want everyone to be happy, I want them to be happy because I agreed to help them. I want to facilitate things for everyone and supposedly in the process, for myself as well.

The problem is that saying "Yes" to everyone and everything usually means I end up over-committed and stressed. I end up running around after other people and not taking care of my own needs.

#8 SILVER LININGS

Monday 21 August 2017

Happiness Choice #8 - always look for the silver lining in every situation

SEEK THE SUNBEAMS

A great way to increase the happiness in your life is to choose to look for the silver lining in a situation. No matter how dark the cloud, somewhere in amongst the thunderstorm there is a ray of sunshine. It might only be a tiny sunbeam, but it will be there and it gives us hope and helps us steer through a difficult situation with a degree of optimism rather than letting the situation beat us down.

#7 DON'T GET EMBROILED

Friday 18 August 2017

DEALING WITH DRAMA

One of the many drains on happiness is getting embroiled in other people's drama. You can have your own life under control and going along smoothly, but get hijacked by being drawn into the emotional upheavals of the people around you. It might be a family member, a friend, a work colleague, or a casual acquaintance, but the impact on our own happiness can be quite significant.

#6 CHOOSE TO BE GRATEFUL

Wednesday 16 August 2017

CHOOSE GRATITUDE

Gratitude would be one of the top contributors to happiness. If we choose to be grateful for the circumstances of our life and the people we share our lives with, then we are well on the way to being happy without having to do much else.

#5 CREATE MEMORIES

Monday 14 August 2017

MEMORIES

As my 12 Choices for Happiness month continues I want to talk about "seeking opportunities to create memories". I read about this somewhere back in 2011, and it really struck a chord with me because positive memories of fun occasions instil in us a sense of happiness and are often great ways to combat times when we feel a little bit flat or unappreciated.

#4 CHOOSE TO FORGIVE

Friday 11 August 2017

CHANGE YOUR VIEW ON FORGIVING

Forgiveness is a huge factor in happiness. Holding on to unforgiveness in our hearts will sap our joy in every aspect of our lives. When we hold a grudge against someone for a perceived hurt, we carry that anger and pain around inside us every day. When we feel hurt in our heart and soul from something someone did or said to us then that becomes a driving force in our lives. It can lead to resentment, revenge or just an ongoing sense of misery and unsettledness.

We base a lot of our ideas about forgiveness on the other person seeking restitution and re-connection. We long to hear them apologize and to have acknowledgement of the pain they caused us and the offence we've taken often can't be let go of until this occurs. But what happens if the other person doesn't feel they were in the wrong? What happens when you don't get the apology you believe you deserve? How do you move forward?

#3 RELAX PROACTIVELY

Wednesday 9 August 2017

THE BUSYNESS OF LIFE

Life has a habit of speeding up and stressing us out. We are always so busy and our timetables are so full. We seem to be on the go from the moment our alarm goes off in the morning until the time we crawl back into bed at the end of a long, tiring day. Stress and busyness are two of the biggest killers of happiness - they stop us pausing and appreciating the moment. They hustle and harrass us and we are left feeling wilted and drained instead of cheerful and on top of things.

#2 DON'T DWELL

Monday 7 August 2017

DON'T DWELL AND DON'T RE-HASH

When you're an overthinker like me, dwelling on things is big factor when it comes to sucking the happiness out of life. The trouble with dwelling is that we don't tend to chew over the good stuff, instead we get caught up on a hamster wheel of rehashing the same litany of hurts and sad feelings over and over again.

We think about whatever upset us and we wonder how we could have done it differently, we play conversations over in our heads and try to come up with better outcomes. The question arises "what could I have done differently?" If I'd done 'X' would I have gotten a different outcome, or what about if I'd said 'Y' would the other person have responded differently? Lots of could haves, should haves and would haves.

#1 CHOOSE CONTENTMENT

Friday 4 August 2017

The 12 Choices for Happiness - Number #1 is to choose contentment over dissatisfaction and envy

CHOOSING CONTENTMENT

This month I'm doing a series on choices we can make for a happier life. One of the most important choices is choosing to be content with who and what you have in life. Wishing for more and constantly wanting what others have is such a drain on our emotions and our pool of happiness evaporates rapidly.

12 CHOICES FOR HAPPINESS

Wednesday 2 August 2017

KEEPING OUR HAPPINESS ALIVE

One of the most popular series of posts I wrote were the ones from last year on How I lost my happiness and how I found it again. I've been thinking about happiness a lot lately and how easy it is to lose it when we slip into bad habits or when we forget how to nurture it.