Cresting The Hill

STEP #12 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ IT'S UP TO YOU!

Friday 29 July 2016

Step #12 on the journey to happiness - ultimately you are responsible for creating your own happiness

WINDING UP

Well I'm coming to the end of the month and the end of my series on being happy again. Winding it down to the final conclusion I came to - and that is...... ultimately you can't expect life, or other people, or money, or "stuff", or events to make you happy. You have to find your happiness within yourself and from your own self worth. If you don't value who you are at heart, and you don't feel worthwhile, then you will never be truly happy.

STEP #11 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ FORGIVE & MOVE ON

Wednesday 27 July 2016

Step #11 on the Journey to Happiness ~ Forgive & Don't Hold Grudges - life is too short to waste it on toxic things

ANGER AND GRUDGES

Anyone who has seen my Pinterest profile knows I am an avid collector of quotes. I have a whole board dedicated to quotes on disappointment because it is a part of life, and engages our emotions at times in ways we may not always be proud of. One of the quotes on my Disappointment Board has been attributed to Buddha and speaks eloquently of the effects of holding a grudge against someone who has done you wrong ~ "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

STEP #10 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY

Monday 25 July 2016

Choose your friends wisely - as you enter Midlife you'll appreciate those friends who share your values #friendship

LESS AND MORE

An incredibly valuable lesson I have learned through the highs and lows of the last few years is that friends are sometimes more, and sometimes less than what I expected. I have seen friends step up to a whole new level in their love and support and I have watched friends trade in years of our relationship for something as transient as a position title or a step up the ladder.

STEP #9 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ LET THE PAST GO

Friday 22 July 2016

STOP WALLOWING IN THE PAST

It's so easy to look back at where we've come from and use that as an excuse for why we're stuck where we are today. Everyone has baggage they drag along behind them because they refuse to let it go and lose the excuse for why they aren't happy with where they're at, or why they don't make changes and keep repeating the same miserable life steps over and over again.

STEP #8 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ STOP PEOPLE PLEASING

Wednesday 20 July 2016

Step #8 on the Journey to Happiness ~ Stop trying to please everyone, stop worrying about what other people might think

PEOPLE PLEASING 101

If there was a university course on People Pleasing, I would have graduated with an A+ distinction. Along with worrying about a myriad of little things in life, I spent a considerable amount of time worrying about what other people might think. I often made decisions based on what I thought other people would want me to do.

STEP #7 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ STOP WORRYING

Monday 18 July 2016

BEING A WORRIER

Worrying and over-thinking are two of the biggest bugbears I have had to deal with in the pursuit of finding happiness again. All of my life I have been a worrier (I'd prefer to be able to say I've been a wArrior but no, it's wOrrier). I've held the belief that if you plan out every possible contingency then it will make sure things can't possibly go wrong.

STEP #6 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS

Friday 15 July 2016

THE DESIRE FOR PERFECTION

I seem to have always had a yearning for the perfect family life. It may stem from my fairly dysfunctional, narcissistic parents who were only interested in themselves and the kids were just part of the furniture. To make up for that, I always pictured in my head how my family would look once I was married and had children of my own. But, somewhere along the line that picture has gotten a little blurry and I've had to re-think my expectations and perhaps even lower them a bit!

STEP #5 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ BE GRATEFUL

Wednesday 13 July 2016

CHOICES

As I mentioned in #4 Choose your Story ~ life is really all about making choices - big ones and small ones - every day. The choices we make colour our world view and affect our mood and determine whether we define ourselves as "happy" or not. What you do with those choices also impacts on how you move forward in life. You can take them for granted and feel entitled or you can choose an attitude of gratitude and appreciate what you have.

STEP #4 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ CHOOSE YOUR STORY

Monday 11 July 2016

LIFE STORIES

Everyone has a life story - you don't get to be on this earth for any length of time without one. Everyone's story is different, but what they all have in common is - no matter who you are or where you live, both good and bad things will have happened to you. The scale and the quantity varies from person to person but there is no perfect life.

STEP #3 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ TRY NEW THINGS

Friday 8 July 2016

Step #3 on the Journey to Happiness ~ forget your fear and try something new

HAVE A GO

When you are unhappy your world narrows down to getting through each day and going to bed before you get up to do it all again - over, and over, and over, ad nauseum. It's hard to motivate yourself to get out of that rut and the thought of trying something new (for me at least) was just too hard and I really couldn't be bothered.

STEP #2 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN

Wednesday 6 July 2016

Step #2 on the Journey to Happiness - make some changes if you can

PLAYING SAFE

One of the issues I had when my happiness plummeted was believing in myself. As I mentioned previously, I was in a job where I was unappreciated, under-paid and generally miserable. I worked with people who thrived on drama and puffing themselves up at the expense of others. It was wearying and draining every day - but I stayed.

STEP #1 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ START LIKING YOURSELF

Monday 4 July 2016

Step #1 on the Journey to Happiness - Liking Myself

STEP #1 TO REGAINING MY HAPPINESS

The very first step towards re-discovering my happiness was to start liking myself for who I actually was - not the person I was trying to portray myself as to the world. I needed to get a grip on finding my self-esteem and self-worth and lose the need to be "all things to all people" - it was no small feat!

HOW I LOST MY HAPPINESS ~ AND HOW I FOUND IT AGAIN

Friday 1 July 2016

MY LEMONY SNICKET MOMENT

Around the time I turned 50 a Series of Unfortunate Events (to quote Lemony Snicket) took place in my life and the consequence was that my happiness seemed to gradually drain away until it was almost non-existent. I never expected life to be perfect and I wouldn't say it had ever been calm seas and smooth sailing for any length of time, but those couple of years around my 50th birthday seemed to be intent on sucking the joy right out of me.