6 VITAL QUALITIES I VALUE IN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS

The 6 qualities I value in my close friendships are: consistency, inspiration, encouragement, cheerleading, spiritual guidance and reciprocation.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE

Zina Harrington the author of Becoming Unbusy shared a thought recently on Facebook about the type of women she wants to be surrounded by. It resonated with me on a lot of levels because, as I've gotten older, there are certain qualities I look for in my friends too. 

I definitely steer clear of criticism, negativity, sabotage, or doom and gloom. I also don't need super sunshine-y, perfect Pollyannas either. I'm tending to seek out real, authentic, down to earth women with common sense and the ability to sift through all the dross to find the little nuggets of truth and joy that still abound in our lives. These are my tribe and today I'm sharing six qualities that speak to my heart when I'm with these types of women...
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BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR - YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT!

Sometimes we feel that we need a change or a challenge. If life chooses to offer you one, be brave enough to take a risk and see where it takes you.

NEVER GET TOO SETTLED

Just over three years ago, I finally walked away from my toxic job. I didn't have a lot of time to think about it. I'd been pushed to the end of my tether, and when that last straw broke this camel's back, I gave two weeks' notice, packed my bag and left. I was mentally exhausted and it took me a long time to recover my resilience. The ending was sudden and abrupt, and it left me feeling quite lost and unsure of what to do next.
By the time I felt like I had something to offer a new employer, covid arrived in all its "glory" and the world locked down. We all retreated and it became easier to stay at home than to worry about putting myself out there again. But life can sometimes surprise you....

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MAKE ROOM FOR FORGIVENESS AND IT WILL HEAL YOUR HEART

Don't allow unresolved bitterness & hurt from the past to affect your life - choose to forgive, let go, and move on to create a new and better legacy

UNRESOLVED HURT

I was talking to a 90 year old woman recently, she was sharing some incidents from her late teens where her father's attitude had caused her pain. She felt that her needs and choices had been minimalized and overlooked (and from what she said, they had been). The saddest part of the conversation was that she still carried the same degree of anger and upset that she felt from when she was 20. 

She couldn't see that he was a product of his generation and, even though he'd passed away many years ago, she still carries so much bitterness and lack of forgiveness in her heart - 70 years of wasted anger and hurt. Those unresolved feelings and lack of being able to move on from earlier issues have left an ongoing legacy of pain in her life and have carried over into her relationships with others.
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FINALLY FREEING MYSELF FROM STINGINESS AND SCARCITY AT 60

It's finally okay to lighten up on myself a bit and enjoy the little pleasures of life more. I'm kicking guilt and feeling unworth to the kerb.

WHEN FRUGALITY BECOMES STINGINESS

This is kind of a weird post about an issue I have that others may not have a problem with...but lately I've finally twigged to the fact that there's a fine line between being frugal and being stingy. I often muddle the two up and find myself happily spending time, energy, or money on others - while refusing to do the same for myself. I tell myself that it doesn't matter and I don't need non-essential things, but living a life of denying myself any little treats is not the way I want to live out the rest of my days.

I think it's time to stop being so stingy and to let myself enjoy a few small indulgences here and there - I'm finally allowing my tightly held fist to open a little - and it feels good.

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