DISCOVERING LAGOM - A NEW CONCEPT THAT FITS WELL WITH MY LIFESTYLE

Lagom is the Swedish concept of "Not too little, not too much: just the right amount"

WHAT IS LAGOM?

Lagom is the Swedish concept of "Not too little, not too much: just the right amount" that invites us to embrace a lifestyle based on moderation, sustainability and aiming to achieve balance in our daily life. I think it ties in beautifully with the idea of soft living where we engage in healthy routines, hobbies, and personal interests.

So much of my retired life now centres around finding ways to feel balanced, rested, and unhurried, and I find I've been unintentionally adding Lagom into my choices. Today I'm sharing a few ideas on how that's come about...
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GETTING MY CARE-FACTOR FIGURED OUT

I'm finally figuring out the balance between caring too much and not caring enough. It's about being intentional about my care-factor.

CARING TOO MUCH

I spent the first 50+ years of my life caring about too many unimportant things. I cared about what every person I encountered thought, I cared about whether they were judging me or finding me lacking, I cared about never wanting to fail or look foolish, I cared about being not enough or about being too much. I cared about everyone else's problems and how to solve them, and I cared about every world event that came on the news. I spread my energy everywhere, rather than conserving it for what really mattered.

It's been exhausting trying to keep up with the thoughts in my head - and my inner critic who likes to keep whispering in my ear about all that I should be doing to save the world around me. It often held me back from speaking my thoughts, and it made me second guess myself constantly as I tried to walk a line that wasn't even real. Trying to be who I thought I needed to be, to behave in a way that I thought was 'right', to keep all my ducks in a row - it was all so normal, and all so draining....
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DO WE NEED A MISSION, A PURPOSE, OR A DIRECTION IN RETIREMENT?

HOW DO WE DEFINE OUR SELF-WORTH WHEN WE RETIRE?

SELF-WORTH AND PRODUCTIVITY

A little while ago I read a really thought provoking article by Bernie Sewell on Tiny Buddah. It was about how she finally clicked to the fact that her life mattered - even without a big purpose or direction. I think it resonated so deeply with me because it's how living the retired life can feel at times.

We leave behind a career, most of our parenting, our busy life where we ran from one commitment to another - and we can be left with questions like "who am I?" and "where do I go from here?" It's all a little unsettling until we come to the realization that our worth is intrinsic, and needs to be separated from what we do.
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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM SEPTEMBER



MY SEPTEMBER DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. September has brought with it a return of the sunshine - the days are getting longer and the rain is less frequent. I love a sunny day where it's not too hot and not too cold - just the right balance. That's delightful in itself.

On top of that, here are my three delights from September...a golden delight, a dating delight, and a blooming delight, with a delightful quote to round it all up....

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5 THINGS TO CONSIDER IF YOU’RE PLANNING TO RETIRE IN AUSTRALIA

5 THINGS TO CONSIDER IF YOU’RE PLANNING TO RETIRE IN AUSTRALIA

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I have another great collaboration to share today and this one is close to my heart. Every time I read all the doom and gloom on the news, I'm grateful for how far away I am from it all. It does make travel times a lot longer to get anywhere, but there is so much to recommend about life in Australia. This post is all about considering if you'd like to take a massive leap and move countries to retire down here in the Lucky Country. I hope you find it interesting and informative....
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A QUIET SENSE OF HAPPINESS PERVADING MY LIFE

Midlife has brought me many blessings. One of the most delightful is the sense of peace, and calm, and quiet happiness that pervades me life.

MIDLIFE HAS BROUGHT ME PEACE

Midlife has brought me many blessings, and I have ten years of blog posts to confirm that. One of the most delightful is the sense of peace, and calm, and quiet happiness that pervades my life every day. It's like a little secret joy that I hug to myself when I notice it settling around my shoulders. 

For so many years I was focused on pushing forward and keeping all the balls in the air, I didn't have a lot of time for "me". I'd never had huge expectations or big dreams, but I also didn't have the mental space to know whether that was because I didn't want them, or because I was too busy to find time for them. Retirement has given me the time to figure all that out...

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WHEN YOU'RE NO LONGER DROWNING IN DRAMA

Trust your gut, if something feels wrong then step away from it before it becomes worse. Don't embroil yourself in problems that aren't yours.

THE COURAGE TO MOVE FORWARD

A year or so ago I was neck deep in a situation that was making me question my beliefs, my commitment, and my ability to ride the waves that life can throw my way. I remember writing about it and wondering if my expectations were too high, or if I'd lost hope somewhere along the line. I was sitting in a pool of disappointment that wouldn't resolve itself.

Admitting that it wasn't working for me was quite daunting at the time - nobody (especially me) likes to admit they've failed in some way, but sometimes you just need to step away to breathe freely again.
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LIFE AFTER 50: TRADING THE EMPTY NEST FOR AN OPEN SEA

LIFE AFTER 50: TRADING THE EMPTY NEST FOR AN OPEN SEA

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I often read blog posts from my fellow Midlifers about the wonderful cruises they've been on and how relaxing they are. Today on the blog I have a collaboration with a big fan of the cruising lifestyle - and it sounds absolutely delightful. I hope you enjoy their recommendations for cruising for the over 50's who want something a little more special...
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WHEN SENSIBLE, SAFE, STABLE, AND SECURE NEED TO BE RE-THOUGHT

The second half of life can bring a new found freedom from always making the most frugal of choices. It can be the time to spoil yourself a little.

THAT OLDEST DAUGHTER MINDSET

As I've mentioned many times here, I'm an oldest daughter - I'm super responsible, super conservative, super practical, and basically super boring. When it comes to life choices, I will always play safe - I'm not a risk taker and I don't handle change well.

That mindset can work really well when there's the need to have your nose to the grindstone to get established in life and to build a secure foundation for the family. But it also makes me feel like the killjoy and the person who rains on the parade when my husband (a youngest child) gets one of his great ideas and I'm shooting it down for all the risks, rather than letting him run with the rewards.
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CURATING A VILLAGE MENTALITY IN A DIGITAL WORLD

If you're doom scrolling and being driven by algorithms, maybe it's time to step back and focus on the village around you instead.

LIVING IN A DIGITAL WORLD

So many people I know spend vast amounts of time keeping up online with all the goings-on in the world. They have opinions on the politics of most countries, they are experts on how to end wars, and they're often quite intense in their responses to the latest news updates. They're instantly impacted by global happenings that they'd never have known about in years gone by until they read it in a newspaper a day or so later.

They really like being informed about everything, but I sometimes wonder if it's good to be so instantly in touch with everything - and can you really trust everything you read online? 
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HOW TO CREATE A HAPPY AND STIMULATING ENVIRONMENT FOR YOUR CAT

HOW TO CREATE A HAPPY AND STIMULATING ENVIRONMENT FOR YOUR CAT

INTRO

Today on the blog I have a great collaboration with a fellow cat lover. I don't often get to share the joys and responsibilities of cat ownership, but this seemed like the perfect opportunity. So I'll leave you a picture of my delightful cats as an introduction to this interesting post...

Luna and Flit
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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM AUGUST

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights.

MY AUGUST DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. August has been a month of rainy days mixed with a sunshiny day here and there to keep our spirits up. It's also been a month where both of us have been sick with a flu-y virus that has left a lingering cough behind. Give it another week or two and I'm sure we'll be back to full health - and grateful that the cold season is in the rearview mirror. 

So, without further ado here are my three delights from August...a family travel delight, a family combined birthday delight, and a family member delight, with a delightful quote to round it all up....

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THE BACKPACK THEORY IN MIDLIFE

The backpack theory, also known as the rucksack theory, is based on the idea that we all carry with us a pack full of our experiences and expectations

THE BACKPACK THEORY

The backpack theory, also known as the rucksack theory, is based on the idea that we all carry with us a pack full of our experiences and expectations, and these influence the way we think, feel and act. This backpack has a different feel and weight for each of us, and we get to choose whether to discard some of the contents, add to them, or exchange them for a more comfortable load. 

I think Midlife is the perfect time to rummage through our packs and see if we're carrying unnecessary items and to adjust the contents.

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HOW TO MAKE KETO COOKING SIMPLE AND DELICIOUS

A Keto eating plan can be a lot more simple and delicious than you expect.

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Today on the blog I have a slightly different topic than what I usually write about. I was invited to share a collaboration on Keto cooking, and I thought it would be a great topic for those who are interested in exploring and changing things up a little in their food prep and cooking. 

Our daughter and her husband are both big fans of the Keto way of life and are so much healthier and slimmer as the result. They often mention the health benefits that have come with making the change and how it gets easier to maintain as you settle into the eating plan.
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IF REACHING OUT ISN'T WORKING, MAYBE IT'S TIME TO START REACHING IN

It's good to reach out in stressful times, but often you need to reach in and do some inner work too.

REACHING OUT OR REACHING IN

I saw a quote a while back on Tiny Buddha that said:

On my darkest days I couldn't reach out.
Let's stop telling people to reach out,
And start to reach in.

It struck a chord in my heart as I look back on the times I struggled with my difficult job, and with another environment I was in that had become untenable for me. When I think about it all now, I spent too much time reaching out, and took far too long to start reaching in...
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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM JULY

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights.

MY JULY DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three little delights. July is the middle of Winter here in Australia - lots of rainy days and cooler temperatures, with a sunny day thrown in here and there to break up the bleakness. Today I'm sharing for July a grandgirl delight, a birthday delight, a published delight, a (bonus) dabbling delight, and a quote about living delightfully.

So, without further ado here are my delights from July...
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HOW DO WE DEFINE OURSELVES WITHOUT A JOB TITLE?

One of the hurdles that came with leaving work and settling into an early retirement was the issue of who I was if I wasn't defined by my job or by what I was doing each week.

DON'T LET YOUR TITLE DEFINE YOU

One of the hurdles that came with leaving work and settling into an early retirement was the issue of who I was if I wasn't defined by my job or by what I was doing each week. It was a strange feeling to go from having a defined job title and a weekly schedule to being completely untethered and free to do whatever I chose. The responsible oldest child inside me felt like I needed to keep justifying those choices to myself and to others. 

Basically I was defining my self worth on a title, or a job....how ridiculous that seems now, but it was very real when this retirement journey began so unexpectedly.
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WHAT ARE THE SMALL MOMENTS THAT FILL YOUR HEART WITH DELIGHT?

When we start noticing the small joys in our everyday life, we find happiness creeping quietly into our world.

DOES HAPPINESS DEPEND ON THE BIG MOMENTS?

I used to think that happiness was about something wonderful happening that made me happy. The day to day stuff was just me doing life as best as I could. What I didn't realize is that happiness isn't just about those big moments - falling in love, new babies, puppies, kittens, birthdays, or holidays. Happiness can also be found in all the little joys that slide unnoticed into our day - even the not-so-great days can hold moments of joy.
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FINDING FOR A PATH THROUGH - RATHER THAN A RESCUE

When tough times come our way do we hope they'll just go away, or that we'll be resucued, or do we look for their purpose and a path through them?

ARE WE WAITING TO BE SAVED?

When tough times come my way I immediately start praying diligently and desperately for them to disappear - to just go away and not be on my radar anymore. I'm very solution focused and I want it fixed fast, or for it to resolve itself and be gone. I don't want to be stressed, I don't want to put up with discomfort or disruption, I just want to be rescued like some damsel in distress. 

But what if I looked at it differently?
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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM JUNE

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights.

MY JUNE DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. June brings with it the start of Winter here in Australia - but it's been a slow start full of days of sunshine mixed with days of rain and cooler temperatures. Today I'm sharing for June a blogging delight, a Winter weather delight, and a quote about living delightfully.

So, without further ado here are my three delights from June...

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HOW TO SUPPORT HAIR GROWTH THROUGH DIET, EXERCISE AND LIFESTYLE CHANGES

It can be distressing to see your hair lose its volume and lustre over time. Fortunately, there are many ways you can restore your hair quality.

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Today I'm sharing a bonus collaborative post on improving our hair growth. I'm sure I'm not the only Midlifer who's noticed that their hair isn't as long, full, and lustrous as it used to be in their younger years. This article covers a lot of useful ground from major interventions right down to diet and lifestyle changes that may be helpful. 

So, without further ado I'll hand it over to my guest collaborator...
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HALFWAY THROUGH A YEAR OF LIVING DELIGHTFULLY

I choose to live my life with as much positivity as possible. That doesn't mean that life is all sunshine, but there is alway joy to be found.

6 MONTHS OF CHOOSING TO BE DELIGHTED

Back at the beginning of January I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year. It was inspired by the quote I have in my blog's sidebar:
Living imperfectly with great delight

And it has been a really positive force in my year so far.
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MAKING HEADWAY IN MY BATTLE WITH WORRY

Are you allowing worry to control your emotions, or are you learning to respond more thoughtfully to life's upsets and upheavals?

WORRY AND ITS SIDE EFFECTS

I feel like if there was a Stressers Anonymous, I'd be on their membership list. All my life I've been a worrier, an over-thinker, and a major stresser. If I could find a worst case scenario to apply to a situation, then that would be my first choice. I felt like I had to imagine the worst so I'd be prepared for it if it happened.

So.....how was that working for me? (to quote good old Dr Phil)...
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DECIDING WHY I WRITE AND WHETHER TO CONTINUE

Keeping up with the times and choosing what to share on my blog - it's always a learning process.

TO WRITE OR NOT TO WRITE?

Over the last few months I've been questioning whether to keep blogging or to close things up and move on to something else. I tend to have my words dry up for a while and I wonder if I've said it all. On top of that I've had some wins and losses, and I just didn't know whether I wanted to continue.
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HOW TO FIND YOURSELF - STOPPING THOSE OLD PATTERNS

We find ourselves by reversing a lot of the programing we grew up with. We find ourselves by stopping old patterns that don't work and never worked.

LOSING OURSELVES

I saw an interesting post on Tiny Buddah recently that listed ways we lose ourselves. I think as a younger woman I did all of these and more. I felt that I needed to shrink myself down, be quieter, gentler, take the barbs that occasionally came my way, and generally be as "nice" as possible. I don't do "nice" so much anymore - I do "me" and I hold my head a lot higher these days.

Today I thought I'd do a "how to FIND yourself" to honour that journey....

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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM MAY

A few little joys from the month of May that remind me how good life really is.

MY MAY DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. May has been a lovely month here in Australia - cooling off a little from the incessant summer heat (hooray!), and today I'm sharing for May a floral delight (or two), a footwear delight, a Mothers Day delight, and a bonus quote about living delightfully.

So, without further ado here are my three delights from May...

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LIVING IN CONTENTMENT vs CONSTANTLY NEEDING TO LEVEL UP

Are you caught up in the need to be more and have more? Is social media making you discontent? It's time to stop comparing and find contentment.

LEVELING UP

I've reached the point in life where I don't feel the need to "level up" anymore. I want to live a good life and to be the best version of myself - but not to keep up with the Joneses or to be "on trend". I think the online world has a way of making us feel like we're missing out, or that we're less than we could be - there's always someone or something that's better than us.

Here's a few things I've seen lately....
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TO RETIRE OR NOT TO RETIRE? THAT IS THE QUESTION...

Why do some people retire as soon as they can, and others continue to work for years longer than they need to?

THE KEY TO A CONTENTED RETIREMENT

I've often wondered why some people enjoy retirement more than others. And I've also wondered why some people can't wait to retire, while others work well past the official retirement age. There's a lot of different reasons that come into play - probably as many reasons as there are retirees, but I've finally figured some of it out - and I think a large part of it is to do with whether you have a job you love and want to keep doing it, or whether you really don't enjoy working and can't wait to stop...
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I MET MY YOUNGER SELF FOR COFFEE

What would a conversation with your younger self sound like if you met for coffee one day?

COFFEE WITH MY YOUNGER SELF

A little while ago I came across a TikTok trend inspired by a poem by Jennae Cecelia where she meets her younger self for coffee and the conversation they have with each other. When I looked into it further it seemed like a great exercise in looking back and seeing where I've come from, and where I've ended up. To acknowledge who I've been and how that younger person's efforts have created the life I have now.

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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM APRIL

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MY APRIL DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. April has been a lovely month with Easter holidays giving us time spent with our children and grandgirls. Today it's time to share a family delight, a bathroom delight, and a quote about finding delight in the everyday moments that come our way.

So, without further ado here are my three delights from April...

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THE BEST EASTER EVER!

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EASTER IS OVER FOR ANOTHER YEAR

I think this Easter was the best one I've had in recent memory. It was just full of all the things that make my heart happy - so much joy shared with those I love. I thought I'd do a little recap of it all as my small homage to The.Best.Easter.Ever....

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10 THOUGHTS FROM LES BROWN TO INSPIRE THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE

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A FAMOUS LES BROWN QUOTE

I think all Midlifers have come across this quote from Les Brown at some point: 

You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream.


But there are so many other ideas of his that I'd never heard, and they make so much sense as I navigate this second half of life. I thought I'd share some of them here today, and hopefully a few might ring true for you too...
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LIFE CAN IMITATE ART ....OR IT CAN IMITATE A HOME RENOVATION

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ART vs A BATHROOM RENO

I was thinking about life the other day and remembered the Oscar Wilde quote "Life imitates Art..." and that might be the case for some people, but my recent experience has led me to believe that Life actually imitates a bathroom renovation. 

We're currently in the middle of a complete gutting and remodelling of our upstairs bathroom; to say it's been a journey would be to gloss over all the chaos and disruption that comes with turning a 20 year old bathroom into a lovely new space. During the process I could see the correlation to the journey of life....
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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM MARCH

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MY MARCH DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. March has been a lovely month here in Australia - cooling off a little from the incessant summer heat (hooray!), and today I'm sharing for March a personal delight, and a furry delight.

So, without further ado here are my three delights for March...

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WHAT DOES REST LOOK LIKE IN MIDLIFE? AND WHY DO WE NEED IT?

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WHEN "REST" KEEPS APPEARING

I've noticed that the word "Rest" has been appearing in my Facebook feed a lot lately, and I'm finding myself drawn to thoughts and words that repeat in patterns - I feel like life is trying to tell me something. So when this quote arrived on my screen I decided I needed to curate a few of those restful reminders and share them...
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TAKING A LITTLE ROADTRIP TO ALBANY IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

Enjoying few days of leisurely beach walks in Albany - in the great south of Western Australia.

TAKING A LITTLE BREAK DOWN SOUTH

The retired life for us is a very pleasant one. We live close to the ocean, close to a river, close to an estuary, close to places to hike, to swim, to stroll, to shop, and to generally enjoy. It makes us a little bit lazy when it comes to taking time to go on vacation - we don't need to take a break from anything.

That being said, it's still good for the soul to have a change of scenery, to step away from routines and doing the same things each week. So, we decided to take a little roadtrip down south to Albany. It's a lovely town and it's where we spent our first year of married life - 42 years ago. We've been back several times since, but it still calls to us every few years and last week we decided to answer the call and spend a few days away from home....
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RE-SHAPING ASAP (AS SOON AS POSSIBLE) INTO A NEW AND BETTER FIT

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SOMETHING OLD BECOMES SOMETHING NEW

We all know that ASAP normally stands for As Soon As Possible - but a little while ago I came across a new set of descriptors for the abreviation that I felt fitted my age and stage so much better. I no longer have to be running around getting everything done right now and right away, my life flows more calmly and these new ideas fit me so much better....
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ARE YOU MAKING THE MOST OF THE SUMMERS YOU HAVE LEFT TO ENJOY?

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COUNTING MY SUMMERS...

I read a poem by my favourite poet, Ullie-Kaye, the other day that was titled "80 Summers" and it reminded me of an article I saw a little while ago while I was cruising around online.  It asked the question "How Many Summers Do I Have Left?" and it made me pause for a moment to count them - it doesn't feel like the number was anywhere near as high as I'd expected it to be.

So, I've been asking myself what happened to the summers that have gone, and what I can do with the summers that I have left?

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MY 3 DELIGHTS FROM FEBRUARY

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MY FEBRUARY DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. They say that February is a bit of a "blah" month, but I find it to be a month full of good things if we look for them. Today I'm sharing for February a personal delight, a novel delight, and a thought about finding delight.

So, without further ado here are my three delights for February...

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MAKING ROOM FOR GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN

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GOOD THINGS JUST HAPPEN TO ME

Apparently there's a mantra that's been shared on TikTok lately that says "Good things just happen to me" with people sharing how this has manifested in their lives when they chose to focus their thinking around the phrase.

Mantras always feel a little "woo woo" to me, but my husband (the very pragmatic former Family Counsellor) says that it actually has some basis in science because our brains can be re-wired by what we choose to give our attention to. All this got me thinking....
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TAKING OFF MY TOOLBELT AND HANGING UP MY LIFEBUOY

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BEING A FIXER AND A RESCUER

All my life I've been a fixer and a rescuer. It stems from being an oldest daughter and thinking that it was my responsibility to keep everything calm and on course. I'm very uncomfortable with discord and messiness, and I'll do all I can to calm the waters and to keep everyone else happy.

To be honest, it works well when life is fairly smooth, but when I encounter a very messy person or situation it can be exhausting running around trying to solve a problem that's often not mine to begin with. I've finally figured out that I need to change my approach...
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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM JANUARY

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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM JANUARY

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose Delight as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. For January and my first post in the series, I thought I'd share a personal delight, and a thought about delight.

So, without further ado here are my three delights for January...
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FRIENDS, MENTORS, AND THOSE WE LOOK TO FOR ADVICE

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WHO DO WE GO TO FOR ADVICE?

I read this snippet from an article by Adrian Barich in our newspaper recently:

Never take advice from people who aren't getting the results you'd want to experience.

I skimmed over it because Adrian is a former footballer and I was assuming he was talking about sporting results and achievement. But, he went on to say he listens to his friend's advice because: 
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FOCUSING ON THE FLOWERS AND NOT THE WEEDS

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LIFE BECOMES WHAT WE LOOK FOR

I mentioned in my Word of the Year post last week that looking for joyful moments is the key to creating delight in my life. What I've come to see is that our life (and the world in general) is full of flowers and weeds - literally and figuratively. To live with delight involves the Frequency Illusion where we choose what we focus our attention on, we look for the flowers and ignore the weeds - or deal with them when necessary.

Today I thought I'd look a little more deeply at the flowers and the weeds....

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FINDING DELIGHT IN THE YEAR AHEAD

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THE BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR

Well, Christmas and New Year's Day have been and gone and it's time to settle into the year ahead. I feel like each year somehow is a little better than the last. I'm not sure if it's Midlife that gives me such contentment, or whether I've just found my groove and I'm genuinely happy with the life I have. Whatever it is, I'm grateful every single day for this age and stage.

That being said, it's the beginning of 2025 and time to choose a new Word of the Year. I've tried New Year's Resolutions, and Bucket Lists, or ignoring it all and just getting on with another year, but none of those really resonated with me until I came across the idea of choosing a Word that feels right and helps guide me through the year ahead.
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