EMBRACING 2016

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EMBRACING 2016

At the beginning of the year I wrote a post on Embrace ~ My Word for 2016 and I thought I'd do a little update on how that's working for me. I read heaps of posts from other bloggers about the words they were choosing and their reasons why and I hoped that I'd chosen one that would give me some inspiration to keep moving forward.
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REDEFINING HOW WE DO "FAMILY" IN THE EMPTY NEST

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REDEFINING "FAMILY" IN THE EMPTY NEST

The empty nest is often spoken about as a sad and lonely time. The kids leave and take all the life and interest and excitement with them. There's no-one left who needs looking after, nobody coming and going, no strangers wandering through the house, nothing new and nothing out of the ordinary any more. It can all be so silent and sedate and fairly boring if you let it. But can the empty nest be re-defined and viewed from a different perspective? Is there another side to it?
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REKINDLING YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN THE EMPTY NEST

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RECONNECTING WHEN THE NEST IS EMPTY

My last post was all about preparing our kids and ourselves for the time when they flew the nest and disappeared off into the sunset. The empty nest gave us a degree of relief and satisfaction, and it was wonderful to see them successfully launch themselves and to watch them thriving in the city and at university. They so easily settled into a completely new lifestyle and found their way around their new world with remarkable ease.
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FINDING WAYS TO LOVE YOUR EMPTY NEST

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LEAVING THE NEST

All this blogging about parenting over the last couple of weeks has made me appreciate yet again the absolute joy of our empty nest. I know so many people who are worried about what their life will be like once the fledglings fly, but when you've prepared yourself and you know it's coming and you accept the inevitable change....it's amazing!
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PARENTING LESSON #8 ~ LEARN TO LET GO

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HOW WILL YOU FILL THE HOLE?

One of the hardest lessons for a parent to learn is how to let go of our children. We've invested so much of ourselves into them and they are such a huge part of our lives, what will we do when they leave? I've seen so many women suffer the agonies of the empty nest because they held on so tight and when the time came for their children to leave it was a huge wrench to their hearts and they were left with a gaping hole to fill. Many struggle to find something to fill that hole with. In fact I've seen it affect some women so badly that I've even coined a term for it - Postnestal Depression (similar to Postnatal but caused by having children leave rather than having them arrive).
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PARENTING LESSON #7 ~ THEIR JOURNEY IS THEIR OWN

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FAMILY HISTORY

As a parent you always seem to think you know what is best for your child. Most of the time that's true, but sometimes it can be distorted by your own childhood experiences, the expectations that were put on you, your successes and failures, strengths and weaknesses. It can overflow onto our own children and what we think is best for them.
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PARENTING LESSON #6 ~ REMEMBER TO COMPLIMENT

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THOSE "GOOD OLD DAYS"

It's so easy to take the little things in life for granted. We are often quick to complain about the not-so-great stuff and forget to appreciate the good things that happen each day. The same can so easily happen when you're parenting children. 

 In the not so good old days when I was a child it was the norm to be told what you were doing wrong, to be smacked or reprimanded and expected to do better next time. It was almost unheard of in my house for a compliment to come your way. In fact, when I look back on my childhood, I don't really remember any words of encouragement or positive input coming out of my parents' mouths. I don't remember hearing any being directed towards my brothers either, so it wasn't just me or something I did wrong.
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PARENTING LESSON #5 ~ HELP THEM TO CHOOSE WISELY

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CHOICES

One of the biggest responsibilities of a parent is helping your children make wise choices. It starts with the little things when they are small and gradually builds as they get older. I mentioned in one of my earlier parenting posts that my mother was completely bemused by the fact I asked my children what they wanted in their sandwiches. Why give them choices? The answer is - because making simple easy choices helps them develop the skills needed to make more complex ones. They are going to make mistakes along the way, but if you've built good decision making skills into your children then they can rally and turn their mishaps around and continue wisely.

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PARENTING LESSON #4 ~ WALK YOUR TALK

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SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

When our kids were little I was forever getting told off by my husband for exaggerating my dire threats. I suppose telling your recalcitrant child that you're going to strangle them or lock them in their bedroom and feed them Vegemite crackers under the door for a week, is a little over the top in hindsight. At the time I felt I was justifiably provoked into coming up with these graphic descriptions of possible punishments.
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PARENTING LESSON #3 ~ DETACHMENT PARENTING

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HELICOPTER PARENTS

Today's parenting advice is all about attachment and bonding and helicoptering your children. The need to protect them from every scrape and mishap that they may encounter in life's hurly burly. Everyone seems to want to wrap their child in a soft cuddly blanket and ferry them around in the back of their big SUV car with climate control. My parenting style was a little different to that.

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PARENTING LESSON #2 ~ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW

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INTERNET PARENTING

I envy this internet generation when it comes to parenting. When I was a new mum I had nothing to refer to for information. My parents weren't exactly pillars of excellence and I had no intention of repeating their mistakes, so (other than a book or two) I was pretty much on my own. Google would have been my best friend if I'd had any idea who Google was back in the dim dark past of early motherhood.

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PARENTING LESSON #1 ~ LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES

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BENIGN NEGLECT

I've read some dreadful stories about terrible things parents have done to their children. My parents never abused us, they never physically hurt us, starved us, or beat us. I think what they did was basically ignore us - the old adage "children should be seen and not heard" was the standard for my upbringing (and preferably not seen too much either!) We were raised to know our place and to keep our heads down and to stay out of trouble.
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WHEN THE BOOK CLOSES ON A PARENT'S LIFE

When a father dies and you have nothing to feel sad about - make sure you invest in your own children

MY DAD DIED LAST WEEK.

My dad died last week. He was 78 years old and had suffered from dementia for the last six years. His death was more sudden than expected because he was physically healthy, although his memory was long gone. The struggle I have is that I'm not sad. I'm sad that I'm not sad, but I can't muster any strong emotions over the death of my own father.

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