WHO IS THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?
If you haven't grown up in the church, the Proverbs 31 woman would be a complete unknown to you. For a lot of Christian women she is the Instagram Mum of early biblical days.....you know.....the woman who does everything, and does it so perfectly that she's used as the shining example of womanhood - and preached about every Mothers Day in churches all over the world.This woman has been lauded throughout biblical history and even has a magazine and several websites devoted to her perfect example. But that kind of perfection is a little daunting, and I don't think I'd ever have wanted to spend much time with her.
Here's
why....
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than
rubies.
2. She plans the day's work for her servant girls.
She has household staff! How could I be friends with someone who had people doing all the household chores for her? I'd be so envious that I couldn't spend time with her without comparing lifestyles and finding mine severely lacking. Imagine having servant girls! I could definitely get onboard with that, so I'd have been constantly fighting the green eyed monster and doing my old favourite trick of compare and despair - there was no house cleaner, gardener, or pool boy in my world I'm afraid.
Oh yes, my lamp often burns into the night - probably not for the same
reason hers does though. Mine burns because I want to finish just one more
chapter in whichever book I'm reading, or because I want to add a few more
pieces to a jigsaw, or write a few more lines in my blog. But, it also burns
into the night because I don't have to get up early in the morning anymore -
no more alarm clocks for me - and that's a lovely way to live. So, no
overtime, no late work nights, or early starts - life is very good
indeed.
3. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
First, let me introduce you to her:
THE WOMAN OF NOBLE CHARACTER
(Proverbs 31:10-31
- A Hebrew acrostic poem)
Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his
life.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the
day’s work for her servant girls.
She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a
vineyard.
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
Her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her
fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the
needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm
clothes.
She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other
civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the
merchants.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of
the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with
kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from
laziness.
Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many
virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them
all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the
LORD will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her
praise.
WHY SHE ANNOYED ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
1. She gets up before dawn to prepare food for her family
Really? I haven't seen "before dawn" by choice EVER. In my world it's still
night time if the sun hasn't well and truly risen - and I certainly didn't
need to be up at that time of the day/night to pour some cornflakes into a
bowl for my children. I also considered my husband quite capable of pouring
his own breakfast cereal - so even less time required! So, if this woman
needed to get up that early (probably to make a fully cooked, nutritionally
balanced meal for her family to start the day) I just don't see us as being
on the same culinary page.
2. She plans the day's work for her servant girls.
She has household staff! How could I be friends with someone who had people doing all the household chores for her? I'd be so envious that I couldn't spend time with her without comparing lifestyles and finding mine severely lacking. Imagine having servant girls! I could definitely get onboard with that, so I'd have been constantly fighting the green eyed monster and doing my old favourite trick of compare and despair - there was no house cleaner, gardener, or pool boy in my world I'm afraid.
3. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There
are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them
all!”
I don't remember my children ever standing up to bless me or brag about my
awesome "mum skills". They were well tended, loved, fed, clothed, schooled,
driven here and there, and parented to the best of my ability, but I never
heard them singing my praises all that loudly. As for my husband - he knew
he'd done well to have a wife who well and truly pulled her weight, but I'm
not sure he looked around and boasted that I "surpassed" all the other wives
in town with my virtuous capability. To hang out with someone whose family
extolled them left, right and centre would be very disheartening in
comparison.
WHY SHE DOESN'T BOTHER ME NOW I'M OLDER
1. She makes sure her dealings are profitable
I like to think that I've contributed more than my fair share to the family
income pool over the years. My husband often tells me that it's my Scottish
heritage that's made me frugal and a bit savvy when it comes to money
management. Those skills have come in handy over the years and definitely
helped set us up for the life we have now - and for being able to sustain a
pleasant standard of living
on a much lower income these days. I have absolutely no envy for those who
are still working their tail feathers off for profit - I'm happy with what I
have and the lifestyle it's given us.
2. Her lamp burns into the night
2. Her lamp burns into the night
3. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
I think I love this line the most out of the whole passage. I definitely
see myself as being strong and capable and prepared for the future. Nothing
is written in stone, but to have worked hard and diligently, to have saved
and invested and lived within our means, has led to looking into the future
with a sense of calm confidence - those days of wondering if we'd end up
living under a bridge eating cat food are long behind us!
4. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.
4. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.
I think Midlife brings with it a nice little dollop of wisdom, grace and
kindness. We learn how to moderate our words, how to speak kindly to others,
and how to reserve judgement. Things aren't as black and white as they used
to be - the shades of grey are more obvious and I think I'm more mellow than
I used to be. Maybe the Proverbs 31 woman got there before me, but I
definitely think I'm well on my way to achieving this one as I grow
older.
UNREALISTIC ROLE MODELS
I
think the original author would be a little bit appalled to know that his
example of womanhood has been used as a yardstick for Christian women to be measured
against for centuries. I'm certainly tired of hearing about this woman and her amazing skills, and I really hope that she'll be allowed to quietly fade into the
woodwork in future years. The 1950's housewife is long gone, so maybe the
Proverbs 31 woman will disappear one day too. I hope so because I used to find her
a little bit intimidating and I'm not sure I would have liked her very much
if I'd met her.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you the epitome of capable womanhood, or do you struggle to keep all
the balls in the air? Is it a little daunting when you meet a woman like
this, would you duck and run for cover? I'm just glad that women have become more confident these days and able to tune this type of comparison
out as we get on with living our own version of what a woman of "noble
character" looks like. Perhaps those worn out Mothers Day sermons will finally give her a rest and focus on someone else - someone a little more "real".
JUST A FINAL NOTE
I've turned off the comments on my blog posts, but I still love to hear from you. Feel free to pop on over and comment on my Cresting the Hill Facebook page whenever you like, or send me an email anytime at leanne.crestingthehill@gmail.com.
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