Friday, 13 November 2015

the invisible woman revisited

#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au

This week's #Friday Reflection is to "revisit an old post" and I suppose by inference, to reflect on it and see whether anything has changed. So I chose a post I wrote back in February about the phenomenon that is the "invisible" middle aged woman

Reading back over that post showed me just how much my perspective has changed over the last six months or so. I mentioned in there that I felt it would be hard competing with young attractive women when it came to looking for a new job. I couldn't have been more wrong! I found out (once I took the risk and put myself out there) that experience and confidence is just as attractive to a would-be employer as youth and vitality. In fact, a lot of employers prefer a well presented older woman because we are reliable and have a great work ethic.

I've also come to realize that being seen has a lot to do with the face you present to the world. I don't mean that we get seen more if we are dolled up and made up, I mean our attitude and how it reflects from our face is what makes all the difference. If we are happy and positive and living life with zest then that shows and it's attractive to other people and we aren't invisible. Bright, sparkly people attract notice and people want to help you in a store because you look like someone who would be pleasant and easy to deal with. Grumpy faced, miserable middle aged women are ignored (and maybe rightly so!)


I love that life has taken me on a journey of discovery that is moving me forward and making me less "invisible". I'm working on my attitude towards myself and towards others. I'm taking time to appreciate the qualities I have to offer and also finding so much in life to be grateful for and that makes all the difference in the world. 

Having a face that shines sunbeams and looks lovely is certainly something I aspire to and it is the antidote to the invisible woman phenomenon. If all midlife women took the time to speak life and light into the world we could change the whole perception of how others see us and the idea of being invisible wouldn't cross our minds. What a challenge! 

40 comments:

  1. I'm with you Leanne we can change the perspective of midlife. A great post and I have personally seen the change in you since I first met you in cyberspace. Proud of you and proud to call you my friend 😍

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    1. thanks so much Sue - I think it definitely comes down to choosing your perspective on life and finding the good stuff in this "getting older" business - it has a lot of excellent side benefit (including making some lovely friends!!)

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  2. It's wonderful to hear you have had this change of perspective. I'm also glad to hear that you found your experience an asset in job hunting. Great post! #fridayreflections

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    1. thanks so much - there is no point in being a sad sack with life - things get better when you take a positive outlook on things :)

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  3. Now that I'm fifty, I can't imagine what all the fuss about growing older is all about, Leanne. I'm truly having the best time of my life. I guess it all comes down to attitude, doesn't it? And you've got a great one!
    PS: How does one subscribe for posts on your blog?

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    1. I agree Corinne - this 50+ stage of life is way better than I'd been led to believe! In answer to your PS - I don't have a subscribers list because I've never gotten around to it. Just bookmark my blog and check in every so often :) I'm planning on cutting back to Mon, Wed, Fri blogging days in the near future to get me away from my computer!!

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  4. Great post. I feel like I wasn't visible until after age 50.

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    1. I noticed it in my 40's Talya but once I got my head around it, it has stopped being an issue :)

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  5. I never bought the invisibility thing ... it's all in how you present t o the world, you're right!
    Carol Cassara

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    1. I agree Carol once you get that into your head and start living intentionally and with a positive, happy outlook then you never go unnoticed - no matter how old you are.

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  6. the older I get the more I find I may be invisible to those whom I DO DO NOT NOT want to see me anyway.

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    1. that's a point Carla - it's nice to not be noticed by the sort of people who judge purely on appearances :)

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  7. You're absolutley right! I've written on invisiblity several times from the image perspective. We should never compete with younger women, the poor gals don't have a chance against a positive, confident, experienced woman :)

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    1. Yes we have a lot to offer Jennifer - a confident older woman can run circles around a ditzy young thing :)

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  8. What a lovely thought. I know I have been practicing smiling at everyone and it has opened so many doors and started so many conversations that simply would not have been.

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    1. I think we all prefer to deal with happy, smiley people Rena - so we get to reap the benefits if we choose to be one of those sort of smilers :)

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  9. Leanne I love that quote! I always try to live my life that way and in the end things have turned around for me. Otherwie how could I have a blog if I had no prositive thoughts, the work would kill me...lol

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    1. that's so true Mary - blogging either makes you or breaks you (depending on how you go about it and how positive you are!) Luckily it's "making" us!

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  10. It took a while but I no longer feel invisible. I feel strong and good. Crone means awesome, but it has taken some work.

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    1. I'm still a work in progress Beth - I forget sometimes and then shore up my self esteem and off I go with my head up and life is really good!

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  11. As I've aged, I've realized that I get to choose my perspective. I'm no longer in high school and really don't care how others see me. As long as I can still see - and like - myself.

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    1. I would never go back to those high school judgmental days Di - it's nice to choose who you value and who you want to be seen by (and those people don't judge!)

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  12. Invisible no. I am learning a lot lately on how to be myself and shine to share with others what I have and how I did it.

    Great post.

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    1. me too Sandy - it's a great stage to be at isn't it? I'll have to pop over and check out your blog :)

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  13. I wouldn't go back to being my 20-30 something self for any amount of money! I actually feel sorry for some of the women I see today who are trying to hard--in all the wrong ways--tugging at their skirts to make sure they're at least partially covered, and so many of them are looking around to see if anyone's looking at them. Very sad. I love the confident, know exactly who I am "ME!"

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    1. I don't envy them either Brenda - it's all so appearance focused now and true beauty is missed. I love seeing a woman comfortable in her own skin and secure in where life has taken her - give me that any day!

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  14. Amen and amen! :) If we have a smile and a great attitude, we have what we need to change the world (at least our little corner of it!), no matter our age! You go, Leanne!

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    1. thanks Wendy - challenge accepted! :) I think we are all part of the brigade who are making a stand for midlife being a wonderful stage to be in.

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  15. I really love that quote! And the throwback to Barney Stinson! A good smile goes a long way :)

    Thanks for linking up! #FridayFrivolity

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    1. Nothing like a bit of Barney to keep the smile on our faces Alexandra! Thanks for hosting and having such a fun link up!

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  16. Great idea to not only revisit old posts but our old attitudes. Yes the thought of the invisible middle aged woman is scary. I'm trying to stay very visible!

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    1. I am surprised at how connecting with other midlife women in the blogosphere has changed my outlook on this stage of life Rosemond - we're louder and prouder than we once were :)

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  17. Your right Leanne, we learn so much off each other in the blogosphere. What an awesome bunch of friends we have.
    Kathleen
    Fridays Blog Booster Party #32

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    1. we are indeed awesome Kathleen :) and you can't be invisible if you're awesome!

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  18. I admire the way your perspective has evoloved Leanne ... smiling as I read this!

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    1. thanks Susan - it's a rewarding journey :)

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  19. We call it high responders with babies that smile and look at you and engage so why not we middle age women too! Great thoughts!

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    1. I like the idea of being a high responder - engaging with people is the antidote to invisibility.

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  20. I love this post and couldn't agree more, we naturally want to be around and work around positive people with happy faces, whether we are conscious of it or not we just naturally seek out people who shine. And it isn't about age or looks, but about that inner glow that radiates through us. Great post lovely lady. #Fridayreflections

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  21. Thank you for sharing such an encouraging post! I think this is so true and relevant for women of all ages. Excited for you and your realization. Best of luck in your journey from here!

    Found you via Friday Frivolity. :)

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