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WHAT DOES "COMMUNITY" LOOK LIKE TO YOU IN THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE?

Does our definition of community change in the second half of life? Showing up regularly keeps our relationships connected and alive.

WHAT DOES COMMUNITY LOOK LIKE IN MIDLIFE?

When I was younger I would have defined "community" as a large and diverse group of people who I interacted with regularly. But, as I immerse myself in Midlife and seek out what feels authentic and comfortable, I find that community looks quite different to how it did back then. I'm finding that I've become quite averse to large groups of people - trying to find my place in a large group feels stressful and I always end up with a headache afterwards.

But does that mean withdrawing from community and living in isolation? No, but it does mean that I seek out what feels like a good fit - and for me that comes in smaller bites these days...
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FEELING EMPATHY WITHOUT TAKING OWNERSHIP - FINDING THE BALANCE

Healthy boundaries means we can show empathy and compassion to others without absorbing it into ourselves.

WHEN COMPASSION FEELS OVERWHELMING

Life often brings things into my world that hurt my heart. As time moves along I bump up against hurting people, unfair outcomes, difficult situations, and inexplicable events that I don't understand. It's a little overwhelming at times when the pain from what's happening around me swamps my mind and crushes my spirit.

Recently this hit home very strongly, and I realized that I still have very porous boundaries when it comes to being touched by other people's pain...

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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM OCTOBER

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights.

MY OCTOBER DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. October is school holiday time here in Western Australia - so that means family time for us. It's also Spring, so lots of time outside in the warmth and sunshine - watching nature come bloom.

So, without further ado here are my three delights from October...a family visit delight, a musical delight, and a dabbling delight, with a delightful quote to round it all up....

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DISCOVERING LAGOM - A NEW CONCEPT THAT FITS WELL WITH MY LIFESTYLE

Lagom is the Swedish concept of "Not too little, not too much: just the right amount"

WHAT IS LAGOM?

Lagom is the Swedish concept of "Not too little, not too much: just the right amount" that invites us to embrace a lifestyle based on moderation, sustainability and aiming to achieve balance in our daily life. I think it ties in beautifully with the idea of soft living where we engage in healthy routines, hobbies, and personal interests.

So much of my retired life now centres around finding ways to feel balanced, rested, and unhurried, and I find I've been unintentionally adding Lagom into my choices. Today I'm sharing a few ideas on how that's come about...
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GETTING MY CARE-FACTOR FIGURED OUT

I'm finally figuring out the balance between caring too much and not caring enough. It's about being intentional about my care-factor.

CARING TOO MUCH

I spent the first 50+ years of my life caring about too many unimportant things. I cared about what every person I encountered thought, I cared about whether they were judging me or finding me lacking, I cared about never wanting to fail or look foolish, I cared about being not enough or about being too much. I cared about everyone else's problems and how to solve them, and I cared about every world event that came on the news. I spread my energy everywhere, rather than conserving it for what really mattered.

It's been exhausting trying to keep up with the thoughts in my head - and my inner critic who likes to keep whispering in my ear about all that I should be doing to save the world around me. It often held me back from speaking my thoughts, and it made me second guess myself constantly as I tried to walk a line that wasn't even real. Trying to be who I thought I needed to be, to behave in a way that I thought was 'right', to keep all my ducks in a row - it was all so normal, and all so draining....
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DO WE NEED A MISSION, A PURPOSE, OR A DIRECTION IN RETIREMENT?

HOW DO WE DEFINE OUR SELF-WORTH WHEN WE RETIRE?

SELF-WORTH AND PRODUCTIVITY

A little while ago I read a really thought provoking article by Bernie Sewell on Tiny Buddah. It was about how she finally clicked to the fact that her life mattered - even without a big purpose or direction. I think it resonated so deeply with me because it's how living the retired life can feel at times.

We leave behind a career, most of our parenting, our busy life where we ran from one commitment to another - and we can be left with questions like "who am I?" and "where do I go from here?" It's all a little unsettling until we come to the realization that our worth is intrinsic, and needs to be separated from what we do.
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MY THREE DELIGHTS FROM SEPTEMBER



MY SEPTEMBER DELIGHTS

As I mentioned at the beginning of January when I chose "Delight" as my Word of the Year, I thought I'd round off each month with three delights. September has brought with it a return of the sunshine - the days are getting longer and the rain is less frequent. I love a sunny day where it's not too hot and not too cold - just the right balance. That's delightful in itself.

On top of that, here are my three delights from September...a golden delight, a dating delight, and a blooming delight, with a delightful quote to round it all up....

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5 THINGS TO CONSIDER IF YOU’RE PLANNING TO RETIRE IN AUSTRALIA

5 THINGS TO CONSIDER IF YOU’RE PLANNING TO RETIRE IN AUSTRALIA

INTRO

I have another great collaboration to share today and this one is close to my heart. Every time I read all the doom and gloom on the news, I'm grateful for how far away I am from it all. It does make travel times a lot longer to get anywhere, but there is so much to recommend about life in Australia. This post is all about considering if you'd like to take a massive leap and move countries to retire down here in the Lucky Country. I hope you find it interesting and informative....
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A QUIET SENSE OF HAPPINESS PERVADING MY LIFE

Midlife has brought me many blessings. One of the most delightful is the sense of peace, and calm, and quiet happiness that pervades me life.

MIDLIFE HAS BROUGHT ME PEACE

Midlife has brought me many blessings, and I have ten years of blog posts to confirm that. One of the most delightful is the sense of peace, and calm, and quiet happiness that pervades my life every day. It's like a little secret joy that I hug to myself when I notice it settling around my shoulders. 

For so many years I was focused on pushing forward and keeping all the balls in the air, I didn't have a lot of time for "me". I'd never had huge expectations or big dreams, but I also didn't have the mental space to know whether that was because I didn't want them, or because I was too busy to find time for them. Retirement has given me the time to figure all that out...

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WHEN YOU'RE NO LONGER DROWNING IN DRAMA

Trust your gut, if something feels wrong then step away from it before it becomes worse. Don't embroil yourself in problems that aren't yours.

THE COURAGE TO MOVE FORWARD

A year or so ago I was neck deep in a situation that was making me question my beliefs, my commitment, and my ability to ride the waves that life can throw my way. I remember writing about it and wondering if my expectations were too high, or if I'd lost hope somewhere along the line. I was sitting in a pool of disappointment that wouldn't resolve itself.

Admitting that it wasn't working for me was quite daunting at the time - nobody (especially me) likes to admit they've failed in some way, but sometimes you just need to step away to breathe freely again.
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