HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE BECOMING "REAL"?
Sometimes we lose track of who we are and start wondering where to go to get back on track. Today I've put together five starting points to re-discovering the path to being authentically real and authentically yourself. We all need to start somewhere after all the years of being in the background while we nurtured those around us. So here are my five tips to getting started:1. OWN WHO YOU ARE
If you don't know who you truly are at heart, then you can't be your authentic self. We need to see ourselves with clear eyes - our good points and our not so great points. It's only then that we can start growing into the women we are capable of becoming. We all have so much to offer and we need to get to know ourselves so we are living our life to the fullest. As we develop our strengths and work on our weaknesses, we begin to see our potential and that is so inspiring - and leads to the next tip....
2. KNOW YOUR WORTH
Midlife women have often overlooked their selfworth because they've been so busy focusing on others - their partners, their children, their careers, their parents, and others who need them. Once you free up the time to actually take a look at yourself you start to see your own value and that is where our sense of selfworth begins to kick in. Knowing what you bring to the table grows your confidence and you learn to not accept second best.
3. BE TRUE TO YOUR VALUES
Every person has an intrinsic set of values, you have to take the time to recognize yours and own them. Stop compromising what you feel is important so that others accept you. If you are surrounding yourself with people who have different intrinsic values to yours, then you will never be true to yourself and never discover the "real" you. It's vital to know what is important to you, what your non-negotiables are, and what you base your foundations on and then to live those values out every day.
4. STOP TRYING TO FIT INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S BOXES
When you try to be someone who pleases everyone you lose any sense of who you are in your own right. You might make a lot of people happy, but are you happy within yourself? If you are living inauthentically then you can't maintain a sense of who you are because you have no true idea of who that woman is. Take a risk and choose to fit your own boxes - the people who love you will accept that and those who find it difficult might be best left behind you.
5. FIND YOUR TRIBE
"Your tribe" is a term that comes up in the blogging world a lot - we all want to find our tribe and when you're new, you wonder what that means. As time goes on you find yourself surrounded by a group of like minded, encouraging fellow bloggers and realize that these people are your tribe. It's the same in real life, you need to find friends who "get" you - the real you - and encourage you to live a life that excites you and engages you with the world. Living life on your own terms with a group of friends cheering you on is the best way to find who the "real" you is.
So, these are my starting points - there are so many other ways you can grow into the person you are meant to be - what tips have worked for you?
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Great tips Leanne! I'm so glad I've found my tribe and found you as well 😊
ReplyDeleteme too Deb - the Aussie girls rock don't we?
DeleteAll of these tips are right to the point! It takes courage to accept them, however. Lots of women are caught up society's vision of what/who they should be. I was ruled by my peers' expectations as a young woman, my friends' expectations as a young mother, and more recently, my associates' expectations as a working woman. It was easier and less scary to go along with everyone than step out on my own path. It's only after our last child left home that I took the time to think about myself and what was important to me. At that point I was tired of living for others. It made me brave enough to say, "Enough!" So glad I did.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a while to have the time to stop long enough to actually think about what we value and what's important to us doesn't it Melody? It seems to be that once the kids aren't taking up all our head space, we finally have time to think about ourselves and what we actually want out of life - one big bonus of Midlife I guess.
DeleteHi Leanne, this is spot on. I struggled with some of these issues- who am I really? What am I supposed to be doing? Who is my tribe? I feel like I took the time to sort through these things and now I am very happy and very comfortable with where I have landed. It is true that so many of us spent all of our time and energy worrying about someone else or our responsibilities that we lost our true selves in the process. I am confident that with a little time and introspection every woman can rediscover herself, her strengths and skills and values and build life on her terms. And then, Life is good!
ReplyDeleteP.S. It is also interesting that I have never known anyone from Australia and now I feel like I have a whole tribe of Aussie friends!
If it's any consolation Michelle, I didn't have any American friends and now I've got a bunch of them (plus Canadians and a few other nationalities) and that makes blogging so special doesn't it. I also agree with you about finding out the answer to all those questions and loving the result in Midlife :)
Delete#3 - stay true to your values seems to be a hard one for many people! Thanks for sharing these great tips at The Blogger's Pit Stop!
ReplyDeleteI think so many people compromise their values for acceptance Roseann and in the process become lesser versions of themselves - I won't do that anymore and it's quite refreshing to not try to fit other people's expectations.
DeleteThese are all so very very true. Finding your tribe is a fantastic point. Your people should let you be you always.
ReplyDeleteI love the whole "tribe" thing Jessica - I have a real life tribe and an online tribe and both are fantastic for helping me navigate my way through this stage of life.
DeleteI think it's only when you reach midlife that we start to prioritise ourselves and consider who we are. I'm finding more and more that I have zero tolerance for people and things that aren't good for me - and I'm not bothered that I don't fit into their boxes. I'm working out what's important to me and letting go of what isn't. Good post.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely have a Canadian in your tribe, Leanne. I ❤️ these honest and to-the-point tips!
ReplyDeleteI think valuing ourselves is so important Leanne and knowing where we 'fit' in life. Your 5 tips are spot on we just need the courage to be who we are. Thanks for sharing your wisdom at #overthemoon. Have a lovely day.
ReplyDelete