WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS?

What happens when you start re-evaluating your friendships in Midlife?
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

FRIENDSHIP QUOTAS

I wrote a post in the earlier days of my blog which asked the question "Do we have a Friendship Quota?" I felt back then that there seemed to be a finite number of friendships that I could manage to maintain and I if one friend was lost, then maybe another would appear to replace them, but the composite total never really seemed to vary.

Now, as I progress further into Midlife, I'm wondering if the quota is actually reducing further and what the reasons are for that.

WHAT'S CHANGED?

For years I have maintained friendships by making the effort to keep in contact. If I hadn't heard from a friend for a while, I'd call them and arrange a catch-up coffee date. It was great to see them and we always picked up from where we left off last time. I am a great believer in the concept of what you put into a friendship is what you reap from it.

The only problem is that lately I haven't felt the need to chase friends up for those coffee dates. I've let time slide by and I've noticed that they haven't been burning the phone lines asking when our next catch-up time is. It seems like we're all getting busier and have less time for casual chats and investing our time into ongoing friendships. Or maybe I was kidding myself all these years and it was usually me who made the effort to keep in contact and they were allowed to just cruise along in the interim?

REAL FRIENDS

As I look at my calendar and who pops up on it, it seems that there are fewer names, but the ones who appear regularly are also the ones who remember to call me as often as I call them. They will email me and say "it's been a while, when are you free next?" and I'll do the same in return.

The others are slowly drifting into the stratosphere - not lost, but not as close as we were previously. The thing is that I just don't have the energy anymore to really be bothered by it. I haven't lost their friendship, but it is a more distant variety these days and the weird thing is that I really don't mind. I thought I'd miss them, but my life is still full and I'm still busy, so I guess the gaps I expected haven't happened after all.

WHAT FILLED THE GAPS?

Strangely enough, my husband was the one who suggested that the gaps I thought I'd have from seeing some friends less, have been filled by my online friendships through my blog. I've met so many lovely women and interact with them on a weekly basis. It might only be a comment on a blog post, or it might be part of a Facebook group, or in an email or through messaging.

These women understand me, they are on the same life path that I'm on at the moment. It's not a mystery to them as to why I want to write about life, because they're doing it too. They are encouraging, they're living their lives on their own terms, and they're investing back into my life at least as much as I invest into theirs. We might be on the other side of the country, or the other side of the world, but we "get" each other.

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;

WHERE TO FROM HERE?

I'll never lose my close friends, those who want to be in my life will find the time to catch up with me, but I've also come to recognize that some friendships have become more transient and I can let them go for now. They might strengthen again down the track, or they may fade away completely, but I am happy to let things slide and not be the friend who has to do all the work.

It's strange to think that my concept of friendship is changing. I am closer to my blogging buddy Sue (on the other side of the country - and who I've never met in real life) than I am to some of my friends who I've known for decades. Life changes, the world changes, Midlife is a whole new ball game and I'm happy to see where it takes me - I don't want to hold on to things and people that aren't mine to own - I just want to hang out with friends who understand what this stage of life is all about.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Are your friendships reducing as you get older? Are they changing? Are you investing more or less of yourself in your friends as time goes by - and do they reciprocate?

What happens when you start re-evaluating your friendships in Midlife?

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67 comments

  1. This is where I'm at in life. There are many friends here locally that we just don't see much anymore. I've gotten tired of being the one always trying to set things up.
    In the meantime, over the past year, I've gained a new friendship with someone I've never met in person - yet am closer to her than I am with many long-time friends. But I find that she also contributes to the friendship and makes an equal effort in communication. I think age makes a difference - I don't feel like putting forth so much effort that is not reciprocated by other 'friends'.

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    1. I think I'm tired of it all too Trisha - maybe it's a Midlife thing where you just get tired of always being the initiator of get-togethers. I'm learning to appreciate the friends who want to be in my life, and also to truly love the people who interact with me here on the blog and through other means - they fill the hole in my heart and give me the freedom to not chase after people who can't be bothered.

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  2. Oh my goodness, if this is the most fitting timely read for me.

    This last Friday evening while out on a beautiful evenings walk with my dog....I happened upon a small sign of a Mom-2-Mom/Resale event posted for Saturday at the school system I once worked for which was putting this event on. The staff is always invited to attend on Friday evenings before the sale held to the public on Saturdays.
    I looked at the sign...eyes misting up with tears knowing I had attended each one in the years past with great excitement bringing along with me always 2 other young moms to glean what they wished for and desired for their babes to have and at super great prices.
    I also shopped picking up some great items as a newly blessed grand-mother along with other close staff members who also were becoming or were already newly gifted grandmothers!! The fun we all had on those Friday evenings was very special!
    Some of the staff members I worked with knew I absolutely adored and had fun going to these sales.....and well, with eyes misting up as I acknowledged the sign posted....I got the point strongly no one had cared or thought of me to ask me to come this year now that I'm no longer employed as being part of the school staff.
    Someone could have extended an invite to me...and I surely would have gone with bells on, but no one cared to.
    Ugh! The worst was coming home after the walk with my dog....sorting myself out...and coming to the conclusion I always had been the sweet smiling girl to have made the invitations to events and get togethers, with rarely if ever being reciprocated.
    It was fine with me throughout the years...but now....it seems to have hit my heart with a thud and realizing it's getting rather taxing and old.
    This last Friday, I thought of 2 great friends who honor me and are not like what I just described.
    2 only 2, 1 girlfriend who I've known since our Senior year in high-school, who lives in another part of the United States!
    So with this new revelation my heart cried out to the Lord...please Lord send me friends who will look out for me they way in which I've looked out for others for so long in attending fun events, happenings, and all out great things to do in our community.
    Then came this wonderful read of yours to let me know I'm not the only one in the world experiencing this at the moment!
    With your words and what I experience this past Friday evening....I have a renewed sense about myself and an eagerness to experience what the future holds for us girls!!!
    Thanks so very much for sharing your heart!
    It's meant the world to me to read what your wrote in this post!
    Take care!

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    1. It's funny how such a small thing can open our eyes to the changes in our lives isn't it Amy? I think similar little events have popped up on my radar over the last few months and I'm coming to realize how few people I have in my life who actually know where I'm at and who take the time to care.
      I'm going through a bit of a health upheaval atm (women's stuff *UGH*) and almost nobody knows because I see so few friends these days. All those years of making the effort and now I just can't be bothered anymore. Maybe making the effort will come back down the track, but atm I'm just dry and wrung out and really can't be bothered.
      I'm very grateful for the few friends who make the effort and even more grateful for my online friends who have stepped into the void so I don't feel quite so alone. I really appreciated you sharing your story because it encapsulates the whole thing beautifully - nothing really wrong, but nothing really right either. I hope things pick up for us both or that we find a "new normal" that fills our hearts and is enough xxxx

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    2. Hi Leanne,
      Cheech! Don't know if I clicked on the right button to reply...however, here goes!
      Read your reply back to me....you and your words written are so very kind. You so understand!
      On another note...know I will be thinking and praying for you with the issues concerning women stuff. You are so not alone in this.
      Some elderly lady once told me when I was in my mid 20's and at the time she said it I totally didn't understand...but filed it away for a someday use....she said "Getting older is not for the faint at heart! I've grown to discover how true this is!
      You hang in there.....and know we're all pulling for you!
      Take care!!!
      xo

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  3. Oops! Proof read after I clicked on the publish button....in one of my words they should have been the!
    Yikes! A lesson to slow down and proof read!!! :)

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  4. Hi, Leanne - I agree that our friendships evolve and change as we evolve and change. I must admit that I am usually not the one to pick up the phone, or send an email to suggest a get-together out of the blue....and I hope that this is never read as being less committed to the friendship. Yesterday I met three friends that I hadn't seen for three years and our conversation started right where it left off (with the four of us barely coming up for air). I also love the deep connections that I have made with others in this corner of the blogosphere. Somehow, I never anticipated that when I first began to blog!

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    1. I've never done it as a test Donna, but I find that people who want to see you will make the effort - if they don't then I don't see myself as a priority to them. I'm learning that it doesn't bother me as much as it used to - and the online blogging friends I've made have certainly helped me reach this point of being able to let go.

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  5. Most of friends over the years have moved away, or we get too busy as we've gone about our own separate lives. I do check in with people more online than anything these days. Always good for a face to face catch up chat though.

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    1. I love FB for the connections that it keeps alive - to be able to see new grandbabies, weddings, engagements etc. It's the friends who live nearby that I feel I'm losing touch with - they are busy and so am I and we never seem to find the time to connect anymore - I'm not sure if I should be bothered by that or just relieved that I don't seem to mind too much.

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  6. We are definitely in sync Leanne as I too wrote about friendships this week! Thank you for the mention and I truly value the friendship we have forged through blogging. I have only a few friends but I know I can count on them for support. I used to be the one to organise catch ups and then tested friends by not contacting them to see if they would contact me. Like you there are those that will always be there but others I learned are only for a short time in my life. Thanks for sharing at #overthemoon and I will be selecting this as my feature for the week. x

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    1. Yes I saw your post on friendship Sue - and the need to discard toxic friends - it's one of the first things I blogged about - and one of the things that gave me the impetus to start blogging! There's nothing like a "friend" who lets you down is there? It certainly makes you appreciate your true friends even more.

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  7. Leanne, so true about the wonderful friends made through blogging and social media. My new circle of friends also now include the parents from school. Friendships and how we make them are such dynamic, every changing beasts.


    SSG xxx

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    1. Friendships do fluctuate over time don't they SSG - school friends, work friends, mum friends, family friends - they come and they go as our lives move along. It's those few that stick it out and stay the distance that I'm most grateful for though.

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  8. I could not have said this better myself. I was noticing this happening in my life prior to moving abroad, but now it can't be ignored. I am "out of sight and out of mind" for many of my friends. I just do not feel that I need to chase after them anymore. I have been making many connections with others online that have many similar interests with me. It's a new phase in life in so many ways. :)

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    1. Hi Cherie, it's like our lives are moving forward and theirs are heading in different directions - paths divide and before you know it they've drifted off into the ether. In a day and age where it's so easy to stay in touch, it seems to make some people lazier and their expectations of who will make the contact each time seems to be different to mine. I'm gettign much better at letting go and embracing the new phase of life too x

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  9. This could have been a post that I wrote. Sometimes it feels like I wouldn't get together with friends if I wasn't the one initiating the meeting. I find myself chatting more with fellow bloggers.

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    1. I'm exactly the same Jennifer - there's such a sense of community in the blogging world and the encouragement and interaction is a joy - I miss that in real life - but I'm grateful for the few friends who are still hanging in there and making an effort to keep me in their world.

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  10. Yes! Yes! and another Yes! I feel exactly the same way...some of my friends have moved away and while we keep n touch it is different...a lot of my friends are too sorry to be with me now since I lost my son...I have a few very close friends who check on me...but I feel like you...I did most of the work in the friendship and I just don't want to anymore...I am retired. Retired from doing the constant calling to set up dates for lunch or whatever. And I also agree on some of my best friends being other bloggers...members of our Midlife Blogging group have become some of my new best friends..I feel like they get me, and right now that is what I need!

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    1. I think I'm retired from putting in all the work in friendships too Renee - time to kick back and and invest in the people who want to invest back again. I'm too tired atm to do much else and I love my online friends - it's so much easier to maintain the connection when it's on your own terms :)

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  11. I lost two of my best friends over the years, one to a stroke at 41 and the other to suicide at 39 and I've not been motivated to fill those spots up. They're still in my heart and will always be. I do have one best friend who lives back in KY (400 miles away). We don't call or text often, but several times a year we each get a text "need some bestie time" and one of us visits the other and we pick up right where we left off. I love her dearly other than that all of my friends are from blogging and web designing. I've made some really beautiful friendships online. Just like you said they get me and what I'm doing. No awkward explanations needed!

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    1. I love my online friends Rena - we all just love what we do and it's so fulfilling. Nobody in the real world seems to understand that for some reason - I've given up trying to explain it and now I just connect on two different levels - online and over coffee - anything more than that is just too hard atm.

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  12. You landed close to home with this post, Leanne! I'm having some of the very same feelings about not having the time or energy to pursue old friends, who have always depended on me to keep it going! I especially love your comments about on-line friendships—they are priceless, and we are usually on the same page! I loved this so much, I posted it on Twitter.

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  13. Oh, my word. This came as a shock, but I so agree! I've been wondering, too, why I don't miss my friends. And you are absolutely right! My online friendships are so satisfying! Revelation!

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    1. We're an amazing bunch aren't we Diane - we're going to become homebound and attached to our laptops if our real life friends don't step up and save us :)

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  14. Leanne, Investing in new friendships was something I focused on in the first few years of retirement. I had so many connections tied up in work - not really deep friendships though, as I came to realize.

    I've come to view reciprocity a bit differently. There are some folks where I will continue to be the instigator... more because we have a wonderful time when we are out and they always thank me for setting it up. They recognize the effort and I really, really enjoy the time together. I view my instigation as my gift to them.

    Another friend always picks up the tab for breakfast/coffee... their contribution of effort (as well as being genuinely pleased when I reach out). A couple of folks I've moved into the "networking camp" - not really "friends" but associates that I want to stay connected with still. Some, I've just let slide away (and had to grieve the loss, especially if I thought there was a stronger bond there).

    Interestingly, there are now a few IRL friends who are reciprocating! They notice when it's been awhile and reach out. The shift felt weird at first. And it's also interesting ... among all the folks I connected with, they are not ones I might have expected at the beginning.

    And absolutely yes, there is whole group of on-line folks who are, as you say, walking the same life path at the moment! (Most of my IRL friends are not on this life path. Most are still working; some have younger kids and dealing with the true busy of that life stage.) I value these on-line relationships. And yet, this also requires effort...reading and commenting. I sometimes wonder who would notice if I stopped? If even in this world, would it be out of sight (words on paper), out of mind? Maybe, maybe not.

    One thing I can attest to.... the investment I have made in time and effort, whether IRL or on-line, has been worth it. I do feel like there is a tribe of (mostly) women who I like to hang with, who share their insights and support, and who have filled the gaps of the lost connections I had while working. And that is a great feeling.

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    1. I think you're definitely right about the investment in friendship paying off in the long run. I've just reached a point atm where I don't have enough mental or emotional energy to invest in chasing after people who are too busy to make the effort themselves.

      I'm sure things will turn around - maybe when I retire I'll have more headspace to put into friendships again but right now I don't seem to miss the people who have floated off into the ether.

      As for blogging friends - they are a godsend and I am so grateful for the friendships I've made over the last few years - I never imagined how much joy they'd bring me :)

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  15. I get it too Leanne! I lost my BFF of 35 years 2 years ago and I really miss her but I haven't promoted another friend to replace the relationship we had because that isn't possible. I love my girlfriends but I don't need lots. I agree with you, my FB friends have filled the gap of friendships.

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    1. I seem to need a lot fewer friends these days too Haralee. I used to think I needed a much wider circle of friends but now I'm finding that I only need a few - it's all I can manage. My FB and blogging friends take up the slack and it's a really good balance for me.

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  16. Yay for blogging friends!
    I am always reminded of the saying that people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime and I think that is particularly apt. Maybe the glue that held a relationship together weakens as each person heads off in their own direction. I love that I can still immediately pick up with friends of 50+ years and that the glue there is pretty much timeless due to strong inter-family connections and much shared experience. Other friendships have waned over the years, and that's OK.

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    1. I'm the same with old friends - the connection is never lost, but it's the friends who I used to see more regularly that seem to be fading into the background. They're busy and their lives are different to mine - I guess our paths have diverged and maybe one day we'll end up back in the same vicinity again and we'll pick up where we left off.

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  17. Leanne I wrote a post a while back about friendships. I so agree about online friends right now for whatever reason I also feel closer to some of my blogging friends. Everything is changing so I guess friendships are also.

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    1. It must be a Midlife thing Vicki - we have different needs to what we had as mums or as working women. Maybe friendships take a back seat for a while and we use that time to focus more on ourselves and re-connecting with who we are and what we want to do - then the friendships fit in around the new normal.

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  18. I have to say, meeting fellow writers has definitely filled a social gap. I still need my "in the flesh" friends, but there's something lovely about getting to know people virtually. Somehow it feels just as real.

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    1. It does feel just as real doesn't it Laurie? So many different women from all over the world and yet we seem to have so much in common don't we?

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  19. Leanne...I am new to your blog. I found this post to be quite interesting and thought provoking. I have had "less friends" for years. One reason was that I poured my life into my children. Most of my friends were moms of my children's friends. So, now, with the empty nest thing, I am looking around and asking some of the same questions as this post. ---Bev (working on my commenting ID thing so please excuse the weird comment name...ha ha)

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    1. Hi Bev, I'm so glad you found me - I hope you'll be back to get to know me some more (you can become one of my blogging buddies!) Empty nesters have to reinvent themselves - it's different for everyone but at the same time, if you're looking to embrace it then it has SO much to offer - and you'll meet some great women if you pop in to read our Wed #MLSTL party posts. x

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  20. Friendships based on workplaces seem to fade over time when we leave them but I stay in touch with some via social media. I have found old school friends thanks to Facebook. However, I think we wax and wane in terms of friends and I have learned that it is not about me per se it is about who makes the most effort to maintain it. In my case, it was me! Yesterday I caught up with a friend who became my friend over 30 years ago when our kids began a relationship, They married, gave us 3 grandkids we share, the kids themselves divorced and took new partners....and guess what, we meet up with no animosity just sharing the commonality of ageing, living in the same regional area after leaving Sydney and those grandkids of ours! Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek 10/52. Next week's optional prompt is "My Last Meal". Denyse x

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    1. I love that your friendship has weathered all the storms of marriage, kids and divorce Denyse - it's nice to not lose people when relationships come asunder. You're right about work friendships fading away - as you lose the common bond of the workplace, you find you don't have as much to keep the connections strong. That's where FB comes into it's own - it allows us to keep in touch without having to get in too deep.

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  21. I agree with you Leanne. Our friendships change over time as do our interests. My blogging friendships are seen as something to be concerned about by some, as if they’re not real people at all but shysters trying to steal my identity or money. It’s interesting to listen to those who just don’t ‘get’ bloggers as they are quite suspicious of it all. I really enjoy my blogging friendships and have felt included and part of an understanding group. I found your post very thought provoking, as usual!! Thanks for opening up and being honest about this subject.

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    1. I mention that I blog and people don't even ask what it means - they just don't get it. I feel like it's a waste of breath telling people that I blog so now I just share that part of my life with the friends I've made online and keep things in real life more straight down the line and day to day.

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  22. Hi Leanne - My core group of close friends has stayed the same, except one who died young. I'm enjoying making new friends through blogging and traveling.

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    1. Blogging has definitely widened my friendship pool Natalie and taken the pressure off as far as maintaining links to those friends who are happy to let things drift.

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  23. Hi Leanne, I have already commented above but wanted to thank you for being my best blogging friend and co-hosting Midlife Share the Love Party with me. #MLSTL. I'm sharing everywhere. xx

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    1. My pleasure as always Sue - I commented on your friendship post that I think we were sisters back in Renaissance times - sitting doing embroidery and chatting away the day!

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  24. I feel like I've had some people in my life that have drifted away, some I've pushed out, and others that even after years we fall back into step. Seasons and all that.

    I used to worry that I wasn't maintaining a sufficient amount of friends. But I'm a loner and enough for me would never be enough for someone else. So, now, I try to share myself wholly with the people who are around me now while keeping one door open for fresh faces to show up.

    Great post! I really enjoyed it.

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    1. That was beautifully put Melissa - summed up my thoughts perfectly! It's not that we don't want friends, it's about finding the right ones in the right Season and taking the pressure off trying to have it all.

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  25. Leanne, I found this post and the comments very interesting. I am still working full-time, and I have a rather large family (mostly close by). Add to that my introvert tendencies, and I don't have a lot of non-relative friends that I hang out with. Don't get me wrong, I like people and I enjoy socializing at the office or when I run into my neighbors. I just have a hard time summoning up the time and energy for going out. I adore the friends I have made through blogging. As you mentioned, I have found people in a similar stage of life, people who I connect with--and I can do it in my pajamas with no concerns about scheduling conflicts or inclement weather. :-) I know that sounds lazy, but at this point in my life, it's just being real. Thanks for being one of those friends, Leanne.

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    1. Hi Christie - I think I'm becoming more introverted as I settle into Midlife. I'm finding that I'm enough for myself and don't need a large support group. You're right about blogging friends and being able to connect at whatever time we like (and I'm wearing pjs right now!) It's been an absolute blessing for me xx

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  26. Hi Leanne, your post rang true for me too. I believed that my friendship group had dwindled because we have moved so much and it just wasn't possible to see them in real life. But I realise that although it is harder to make friends as we get older, it's not impossible, but I'm probably not so inclined to make the effort. These days I have so many close and lovely friends on the internet who all share bits of my life story that sometimes I can feel more fulfilled after a day at the computer than after, say, having coffee with someone. Which is a bit scary. And sad?

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    1. My sentiments exactly Jo - face to face is lovely but it takes a lot more effort than being able to chat online or to connect over a blog post, or a FB comment. I love the women (like you) that I've met through my blog and I wish I'd discovered the joys of blogging years earlier than I did!

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  27. Did you and Sue plan the friendship theme today? I've been thinking about this topic too. I have a small number of close friends, most of whom I have known for many years. I don't make friends easily. I don't feel the urge to stay in touch with a lot of acquaintances, when our life connection changes, such as with a move or job change, I can usually think fondly of them and send a Christmas card but not have them be a major part of my life. I do like my on-line friendships, it is strange to me that I have found so many like minded friends around the world. I love it though!

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    1. I commented on the same thing when I saw what Sue was linking up Michele - great minds obviously think alike. Or, more to the point, maybe it's just that time of life when we start re-evaluating relationships and friendships and tossing out the dross. Time has become too valuable to squander it on people who aren't interested in participating in connection. And my online friends have been the biggest unexpected blessing in amongst all this!

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  28. Interesting reading these comments - there seems to be a common thread in many that people appreciate and rely on friendships formed online and through blogging.

    I wonder if this is part of the reason why some of us blog in the first place??

    Hmm, food for thought. Chris

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    1. It wasn't why I started blogging Chris, but it has been the main motivating force for continuing on with it over the years. The online connections and friendships are totally unexpected and the highlight of this whole blogging journey.

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  29. Hi Leanne, really enjoying this new link up, and the wisdom those of us on the far side of 50 can bring to the table!

    Re: Your post - I experience a bit of this as well Leanne, and I think its akin to the connection people used to create through being penpals. You really do get to know someone through their writings, and if you feel a connection, it is real, and will carry into real life.

    That has been my experience at least. I've had the good fortune to meet several bloggers in 'real life' over the years, and it has felt like meeting an old shoe friend (an expression I heard once that I love!) each and every time. There is a reason we return to a person's blog time and again - it's because something resonates and we feel connected with them as a result.

    I am like you in that I make ongoing efforts to stay connected with friends. I see this as being more about my needs than theirs, so as long as I don't have to work too hard, and feel fed at the end of each get together, I will happily continue to do so. Should anything ever change, or it begin to feel like too much work, I would hope to accept it was time to stop making such an effort, and turn my attentions elsewhere.

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    1. I think you're right about the penpal/online thing Tamara. I used to have people I wrote letters to when I lived away from home, and those people stayed close for many years afterwards. Putting your thoughts down and really thinking about what's important and on what levels you connect is such a great way of building relationships and connections isn't it?

      I'm so glad you're enjoying our #MLSTL link up. Sue and I are so keen to keep it to bloggers who "get" each other and who want to deepen the friendships and their way to do that is to provide a common platform. I hope you keep coming back x

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  30. So glad to find your blog today via the bloggers pit stop. I am now 43 and really find my friendships changing. I am so glad to now follow your blog ... I think your someone who I can seriously relate too!

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    1. I enjoy your blog too Susan - I think we're on a similar journey - finding what's important to us and rediscovering who we are and what we want from life :)

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  31. Leanne I've noticed this decrease in friends also.and Like you in not at all concerned. Ive made so many friends in blogging, both fitness and genealogy, genuine, interested friends. I tend to think this trend has to do with social media. I'm able to keep up with my friends on FB etc. I'm definitely one of those who don't make an effort these days to keep in mind touch.

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    1. I think it's so much easier to catch up with people online Jennifer - I have friends who text me these days - they don't bother picking up a phone (I find that rather sad) and those who comment on FB. My blogging friends write more than a few words and actually seem to care about what I think - maybe that's why they are becoming more important to me?

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  32. Congratulations! Your post was my Most Clicked at #OverTheMoon this week. Visit me on Sunday evening and to see your feature! I invite you to leave more links to be shared and commented upon. https://www.marilynstreats.com. Please be sure to leave your link number or post title so we can be sure to visit!

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    1. That's wonderful news Marilyn - I'll definitely pop over to see my feature xx

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  33. Leanne, this is an eye opener. From your post to hear so many going through the same experience. That is one reason I love your posts, you say what everyone else can't put into words.
    Just today may husband and I were talking about this and concluded that we were fortunate to be best friends as well in our relationship. We have a few long term friends who live far away. I love to hear of others and what is happening in their life on FB but they are not what I call real friends who care.
    As this has touched a chord in so many here, we should feature your post to help others who are finding changes in friends as they get older and change themselves.
    Also praying for your health, get on top real soon.
    Kathleen
    Blogger's Pit Stop

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    1. It is really interesting that others are experiencing the same disconnect with their real life friends isn't it Kathleen. I'm like you in that my husband and I are very good friends and that makes a huge difference - I always have someone to talk to and bounce ideas off (he even reads my blog posts!)

      I'm finding that my blogging friends seem to "get" me more than a lot of my real life friends do these days - we are on a similar wavelength and share our thoughts and it just seems to be that those online friends are slowly filling in the spaces that my geographically nearby friends used to fill.

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I love it when you leave a comment and I reply to them all.
If you'd like to have a conversation, feel free to email me any time - leanne.lecras@gmail.com