HOW GRATEFUL ARE YOU FOR THE LIFE YOU HAVE NOW?

I used to hope I'd have a happy life - and after decades of commitment I think I've finally arrived.

FEELING GRATEFUL AND HAPPY

I've heard the expression "happiness is very overrated" and thought it was a little bit sad. I don't think we can expect to be happy every moment of every day, but I genuinely believe that we can create a life where we feel a sense of peace, contentment, and happiness.

Some people want all the bells and whistles and feel cheated when life doesn't provide it for them. I'm not one of those people, I've always just wanted a life where I wake up in the morning and look forward to what the day ahead has in store for me. It's taken many years to arrive at the point where I feel a quiet sense of happiness deep within and that's what today's post is all about.....

I used to pray for the life I have now. I used to be praying to become the person I am today

I USED TO PRAY FOR THE LIFE I HAVE NOW

I haven't had a hard life - there's always been enough to pay the bills, to provide for the family, to have a nice home, and all the other necessities of life. I'm a frugal person by nature and I don't think I could be extravagant even if I wanted to be - it's just not part of my nature. So, life has always been 'fine' - tough at times, easier at others. There was work to be done, bills to be paid, children to raise into decent human beings, responsibilities, and so much more. I used to hope and pray that it would all be enough and that we wouldn't be living under a bridge when we retired.

Fast forward to now and I'm so grateful for where all that hard work and intentional focus has brought us. Our kids are grown and flown and happily making their own way in the world, we're debt free, we work a little because it's good for us - but not essential anymore. To not have to work is such a blessing, to wake up on a Monday and know that a pleasant week lies ahead is such a joy. There are days where I pause and wonder how life got to be so good.

when you realize you don't have to get up and go to work

I USED TO PRAY TO BE THE PERSON I AM NOW

It kind of feels like I'm blowing my own trumpet to say that I like who I've become (and am still becoming). There have been a lot of learned traits that I'm gradually dealing with and discarding. I'm a classic oldest child who always felt the need to be in control of every little element of my life, I was a chronic people pleaser, and an expert at worrying.

Over the last decade I've finally let some of those habits go. I'm still a work in progress, but I like having a more relaxed approach to life. I've come to see that I can't control everything, that worrying doesn't change the outcome (it just stresses you out to the max!) and that you can't make people like you, or please everyone all the time. It's lifted a huge self-imposed burden from my shoulders and made me a much lighter person. And I really like that.

I USED TO PRAY FOR DAYS LIKE THESE

I honestly did pray for days like these - for a life free of financial stress, for days filled with doing my own thing in my own way - not answerable to anyone, for a sense of contentment and quiet joy. I used to wonder how we'd be when we began to get old - would I still be married (we had some ups and downs), would my children be happy, would we be financially secure, would I be in a good place?

To know that all the answers to these questions have worked out well is such a joy and I'm so grateful. They didn't happen by themselves, there was a lot of work and effort that went into them, self-sacrifice, careful choices, delayed gratification....but it all slowly wound its way to where we are today and it's a very pleasant place to be.

It is impossible to live a pleasant life without living wisely and well and justly. And it is impossible to live wisely and well and justly without living a pleasant life.  Epicurus

MY LIFE IS FULL OF ABUNDANCE

Midlife has brought me abundance. It might not be the shop-til-you-drop, raining money type of abundance that others desire, but it's a warm and content abundance. The feeling of a life that has begun to come full circle, a life that makes sense and brings me happiness deep within. I've never wanted more than that, and maybe that's why I'm so grateful - because I've reached a point where I'm where I prayed to be - and it's lovely to finally be here.

Are you living abundantly and contentedly? Or are you still on the way? I truly believe you'll get there if your compass is pointed to your true North and you confidently follow it.

RELATED POSTS


I used to hope I'd have a happy life - and after decades of commitment I think I've finally arrived.


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Cresting the Hill - a blog for Midlife (Middle Aged / 50+) women who want to thrive
I used to hope I'd have a happy life - and after decades of commitment I think I've finally arrived.

36 comments

  1. Leanne, I found myself nodding my head along with so much of this! Sometimes I feel guilty for the abundance in my life, for the blessings I've had and have. I am exceedingly grateful for the life I have. I am often amazed at it. Like you, I worked hard for it (and yes, delayed gratification was huge for me too). Like you, I'm a work in progress. I'm a bit beyond midlife now, but where I am is a lovely place to be!

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    1. Hi Pat - I'm probably "a bit beyond midlife now" too, but I'm grateful for the happiness and contentment I've found at this point in life. Some people get an easy ride, but most of us have to put in a degree of work in the early days to reap the rewards later.....I'm so glad we knuckled down and set ourselves up for this abundant life we have now.

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  2. Hi, Leanne - Like Pat, I nodded along with a smile as I read your post. Your words here strongly resonanted with me. My answer to your title question is: Extremely!! :D

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    1. I'm extremely grateful too - I often pause in wonder at how things have worked out and how all that hard yakka we put in during our 20's/30's/40's and even 50's has finally blossomed into what we have now - there's no excess, but there's definitely abundance.

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  3. Hi Leanne - great post! I'm very grateful for the life I have now too. Freedom is the word that comes to mind. Freedom to explore interest. Freedom from daily commutes. Freedom from work stress and dealing with annoying personalities. Freedom to choose how I spend my time. The list goes on. I'm not living the fully retired life yet but I'm not far off as hubby is planning on retiring at the end of this year. Hope you have a great week!

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    1. Hi Min - I love the word 'freedom' and I love the flexibility it brings with it. Not marching to anyone else's drumbeat is such a delight. I don't think 35 year old me would have ever believed that 60 year old me would be living this quiet, peaceful, joyful, abundant life I have now - she'd be very happy for me I'm sure!

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  4. Dear Leanne
    I am extremely early to retirement…. About 10 days to be precise!! I came across your blog a few months ago. I’m so glad that I did and I was overjoyed to read your latest post because it resonates so clearly with me. I am so so grateful to have the life that I’ve crafted with lots of hard work. I almost feel guilty that now I don’t have the stresses and strains of my daily working life. Of course I know I’m still at the cloud nine phase but I’m looking forward to my future. I really enjoy your blog. Thank you.

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    1. Welcome to the lovely world of retirement! I felt SO guilty about being retired before the age I expected to. I couldn't believe that we'd actually created a secure enough life that we could afford to not be working all week. I'm really glad you found my blog and I hope you keep visiting - I love sharing this stage of life and all the things its teaching me - the biggest takeaways are contentment and gratitude - life is really good indeed. :)

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  5. I try to keep an attitude of gratitude going year round. I love my life! But it can be hard not to get caught up in all the complaining that everyone seems to enjoy reveling in.

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    1. Hi Joanne - I tune out those gripers more and more these days. I get tired of all the entitlement that I hear and all the pushing of agendas. I just look at my life and how hard I've worked to get here - and I'm not going to let anything get in the way of just being quietly happy and full of gratitude. I'm so glad you feel the same way.

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  6. I love what you say about becoming the person you've always wanted to be! I see myself moving towards that too. Aren't we blessed? I've written about gratitude too today!

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    1. Hi Corinne - there were so many little things to unlearn for me. I think they were protection mechanisms, but really they were just things that held me back and made life more complex and stressful. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm liking "me" more as I get older and hopefully wiser.

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  7. I agree with what you're saying but even with the best plan and hard work one can find herself in conditions out of one's control such as health issues. It changes everything. I try to cultivate gratefulness everyday but there are days when I am in so much pain that I have a difficult time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Leanne, you know to a certain degree how I am feeling because of your hip problem.

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    1. Hi Yvonne - I know exactly what you're saying. I don't think life ever gives most of us a free run with all our ducks in a row, there always seems to be some little glitch (or big one) that reminds us that we can't control everything. I'm so sorry for your pain - mine is minor in comparison, but present all day (and night) and I know how discouraging it can be. I remind mysellf that the rest of my life is really good and I've worked hard to reach this point. It helps to balance to not-so-nice stuff when I think about how hard it would be to manage if I was in a much more difficult life situation. Hang in there xx

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  8. Hi Leanne, nothing like having no regrets. That's a blessing. We should be grateful for all the good moments, and for all the opportunities from which we could learn and improve ourselves. When learn to be grateful, we also learn not to take the good things in life for granted. When we are grateful, we also get energized with positivity that makes this life so much worthwhile.

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    1. Hi Pradeep - I think the hard times definitely teach us, strengthen us, and give us a deeper appreciation for the good times when they finally roll around. I'm sure there are people who never did it tough - and they're very fortunate, but for those of us who worked hard for a long time, it's nice to pause and give ourselves a little acknowledgement for all the work we put in to arrive at our destination.

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  9. Hi Leanne. I'm so grateful to be living a life so full of opportunities, adventures, and happiness! We are both so blessed! Thank you for sharing, dear friend. xxxx

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    1. Hi Christina - I think there are a lot of us who have worked very hard in the preceding decades to reach the point where we can ease off a little bit and open our eyes to the fact that we're actually living the life we dreamed of back when we were young. I'm grateful for that every day x

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  10. Leanne, thank you so much for your support and understanding! A kind response or word makes things more bearable .I never underestimate such gestures as a kind word, a smile or even a wave. They make such a difference in one's life.

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    1. Yvonne, I know exactly what it feels like to be in a place where others seem to be thriving while you're struggling. You're happy for them but would just like a small slice of the pie too. I'm writing a post on chronic pain and hopefully it will resonate with you too because it impacts so deeply on how we see our world doesn't it? xx

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  11. I love this, Leanne, the fact that you are living contentedly and abundantly without the constant striving for more. The fact that you realize that you have everything you need and that you take the time to appreciate it is wonderful. No one is happy all the time, and I think part of the problem is thinking that you should be, feeling guilty or frustrated that you can't achieve that. All emotions are legitimate and have their place. That said, who wouldn't want to be happy more than sad, angry, or anxious? I experienced some anxiety during our recent trip to Alaska and saying goodbye one more time to my mother. Eventually I realized the anxiety was tied more to how I thought the experience should be. Once I accepted what was, I was able to move through the disappointment and embrace the experience as it was. Today I woke up at peace and truly happy once again.

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    1. Hi Christie - I just finished reading your post about the final goodbye to your mum, and it's the perfect example of choosing to see the good and the deeper meaning in an event, rather than being sidetracked or disappointed when things aren't perfect. You'll look back on this time with such bitter sweet memories and I think that's part of the process of grief and letting go isn't it? I'm so glad you're moving forward towards truly feeling happy again. xx

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  12. I don't think it's blowing your own trumpet so much as recognising that the life you have now isn't lucky, in the fallen into your lap sort of luck, but rather the product of hard work and building structures that can now support you. I really love this.

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    1. Hi Jo - that's a good way to put it. I look back at all the hard work, the saving, the scrimping, making wise choices etc and I think they're paying off now - and I'm grateful for that every day. It's so nice to be where I'd hoped we'd one day get to (not rich, but certainly not living under that bridge!)

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  13. A warm and content abundance - that sums up my season of life (well, my life) so well! So much of your post totally resonated with me. I am so very blessed and honestly have "achieved" the life we prayed for so often. A life similar to what you described. But I also know the enemy so longs to ruin it for me...especially the contentment. The gratitude and appreciation for all the blessings. I seem to struggle too often (with my attitude) and I appreciate your reminder of just how good this life is!!

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    1. Hi Jennifer - the 'compare and despair' trap is so real isn't it? I just keep reminding myself that I never expected to be so comfortable financially at this stage. I thought we'd be scrambling to try to build our nest egg, but living frugally and wisely has paved the way to a quietly content life - and that's more than enough for me. Nothing and nobody can take that gratitude away from me :)

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  14. Hi Leanne, Thank you for your weekend coffee share. It's wonderful to hear how happy and grateful you are with your life now. You've made it happen through hard work and making good choices. I'm grateful for every new day and feel happy with my life, too. Natalie

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    1. Hi Natalie - I can tell when I read your posts how content you are with your life and the freedom you have to explore the world around you now that you're retired. We're so fortunate to be where we are and it's nice to pause occasionally and remind ourselves how blessed we are.

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  15. Lovely post. No one should ever excuse being happy where they are in life. Ultimately that's all you boil down to. But that state of being is the perfect state to give back and lift others....a rising tide lifts all boats. Ultimately, we are only as good as the state of the world around us. That causes me a little bit of pressure, a feeling of not doing enough. The 'how to' can be a little overwhelming for me at times...

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    1. Hi Lydia - I like the idea that when you're happy in your own life, you can turn it outwards and invest in the lives of others. I feel like I have more to offer these days - or maybe a bigger cup to draw from than I did when I was so busy in my younger days. And I refuse to let the mess that our world's in impact me more than it needs to - there's only so much we can do and I let the rest go to a higher power.

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  16. I am right there with you Leanne, including being in the older child club. :)

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    1. That oldest child club should come with warning labels! My husband has no understanding of why I take everything on board, or need to keep all my ducks in a row, or please everybody around me (you can tell he's not one of the club members!)

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  17. A wise and lovely post! Your goals sound a lot like mine. I'm very much looking forward to retirement but also trying to enjoy the present.

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    1. I think that's the perfect way to live Janet - enjoy what you have and prepare for the future. Retirement is so much better than I ever expected, but I also enjoyed the decades leading up to it too.

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  18. So good Leanne. I feel like I can say the same. Though I don't know when retirement will come for us...no post for me this week...I just couldn't get it together, but still going to visit everyone since I completely flopped at visiting everyone last week.

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    1. Hi Kirstin - I'm so glad you found the time to pop by even without a post of your own. It's always lovely to stay in touch with other bloggers and check in on what they're writing about isn't it?

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