GOOD THINGS JUST HAPPEN TO ME
Apparently there's a mantra that's been shared on TikTok lately that says
"Good things just happen to me" with people sharing how this has manifested
in their lives when they chose to focus their thinking around the
phrase.
Mantras always feel a little "woo woo" to me, but my husband (the very
pragmatic former Family Counsellor) says that it actually has some basis in
science because our brains can be re-wired by what we choose to give our
attention to. All this got me thinking....
NOT GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE NIGGLES
I wrote a post last year about joy that included a reference to our negativity bias which refers to our proclivity to “attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information" - in other words, we get caught up with the little niggles of life and often overlook the good, the glimmers, and the little positive delights.RE-CALIBRATING OUR EMOTIONAL COMPASS
Life is always full of ups and downs, but that doesn't mean we have to
dwell on the downs; we can make a conscious choice to keep returning to a
positive North on our life compass.
Life is a dance
where it's often two steps forward and one step back, but the dance can be
a joyful one if we're learning to follow the rhythm and see the beauty of
it all.
I saw this quote on
Tiny Buddah
and it reminded me of all the good we deserve to have happen to
us:
RE-WIRING TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE GOOD
The "Good things just happen to me" mantra is a small tool to add into intentional choices that work to re-wire our brains away from that negativity bias. Psychology Today has an interesting article on how to go about moving to a more positive mindset and I thought I'd share one of the concepts they suggest. It's one that my husband used a lot when he was helping people shift their thinking:Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is where our habituated thought patterns are questioned. When a thought arises, it must be evaluated with a series of questions. It encourages separation from negative thinking and includes helpful illustrations of how we should see our negative thoughts.
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| via: Leticia Rae |
ALLOWING OURSELVES TO BE WORTHY OF GOOD THINGS
It can take time and intention to move our thoughts towards the idea that
we
deserve good things
to happen to us - especially if that's not what we've routinely
experienced. I'm a great believer that it's never too late to find joy,
contentment, and positivity. The more we look for the good, the more we're
grateful for the good things that come our way, the more we allow
ourselves to be feel worthy of goodness....the more we'll see it manifest
into a really good life.
I'm such a big fan of retirement, it's given me time to slow down and
appreciate how good my life is, how blessings are all around me, and to
have the time to enjoy it all. Gratitude is a key, but I also think that
reminding ourselves of the good in our lives, and that we deserve that
goodness, is the beginning of aging well and finding contentment in this
final third of life. Aging with grace and goodness - that's my goal for
the future.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you feel that "good things just happen to you"? Are you aiming towards
positivity to combat that negativity bias? Or is life a bit of a grind or
a conundrum at the moment? I'm sending you goodness and grace today and
wishing you sunshine and happiness in the week ahead.
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We know one couple who every time they go to go on holidays something happens that ruins it. One of them is a bit of a moaner & I always wonder what came first - the moaning or something to moan about.
ReplyDeleteI wonder about that too Jo - it's like some people assume life will be gloom and doom and it turns out that way for them. I'd rather hope for the best and be excited when that happens - give me sunshine any day.
DeleteHi Leanne. How nice to catch your post early, on Sunday night, before I turn in. I'm really trying to focus on everything positive, in my life right now, even when I have some worries. There is so much that I have to be grateful for. I'm so blessed. The way I'm trying to brush off the worries, is to remember, that I've been through difficulties, before but I've always made it through, with God's help, and guidance, and I will again. Have a great week. ♥️
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - lovely to have you pop up so early in the comments :) and yes you're right about focusing on the blessings and not letting the worries overshadow everything else. I think bad stuff has the habit of looming over us and we have to make a conscious effort to not let that warp our perspective. There's still plenty of good stuff out there that happening - and we deserve to share in it <3
DeleteHi, Leanne - I like how you've framed this idea—not as magical thinking, but as a way to gently shift our focus toward the good that already exists around us. I completely agree that our brains can be re-wired through intentional awareness, and your point about not getting caught up in the niggles really resonates.Retirement has certainly given me more space to notice and appreciate the small joys, and I, too, aim to age with grace and goodness. <3
ReplyDeleteDonna I think you are an excellent example of aging with grace and goodness - and fun and intentionality too! I think we can let the not-nice things of the world colour our perspective if we're not careful to filter it. I'm choosing to refine what I read and what I give space to - I'd rather focus on the good that's out there and remind myself that it's what really matters in the end - not all the noise....
DeleteHello Leanne thank you for your post,yes I am trying like Christina,"I'm really trying to focus on everything positive, in my life right now, even when I have some worries. There is so much that I have to be grateful for. I'm so blessed. The way I'm trying to brush off the worries, is to remember, that I've been through difficulties, before but I've always made it through, with God's help, and guidance, and I will again." Thank you Christina for the boosting."
ReplyDeleteLove what you started Leanne,bless you.
Christina can certainly attest to some trials and tribulations in her life - and yet she chooses gratitude, glimmers, journalling, morning pages, and other ways to bring in the good - and to remind herself that she's worthy of those good things. I think that we can all find ways to bring a little more good into our day and to feel that we're worthy of it. :)
DeleteI sometimes see Malcolm as a pessimist, but he reminds me that he is a 'realist' who prepares for things that might go wrong. Sometimes that drives me crazy, but I am also very appreciative that he thinks things through. We are the best combination of optimist and pessimist as we tip the scale back to center. I completely agree that eliminating noise/clutter/negative thinking from one's mind opens us to experience joy. Thanks for being one of the joyful moments in my day.
ReplyDeleteHi Suzanne - I think we all need a bit of a pessimist in our relationship to have a Plan B ready "just in case". I find I tend to think of the worst case scenario to kind of bolster myself in case it happens.....but I'm learning that it just sucks the joy right out of everything - and doesn't change the outcome. I'm getting better at hoping for the best and dealing with any fallout if it happens. x
DeleteI think if you focus on the positives then positive things will happen and the negative things won't both you so much. I have a friend who always sees the worst in things and rarely sees the good.
ReplyDeleteHi Nikki - I think you're right. I'm finding that if I think about all the good stuff in my life it makes me more grateful and more resilient when the occasional tough time comes along - it kind of counteracts the "poor me" mentality.
DeleteLeanne, Oh My! My post this week is also about glimmers! I've tried this past week to refocus on them... for all the reasons you state. Lots of negative things going on (personally, societally) and relooking at my jolts of joy list plus thinking about the glimmers I've had really helped balance out the negatives this past week. Such a good thing to remember... "where your attention goes, your energy flows" is at the top on my Feb 2025 to-do list. And so I am trying to intentionally focus on the positives, the glimmers, the joys.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat - you are the ultimate example of someone who deserves good things to happen to them. I really do believe that when the going gets tough we can drown in it, or we can consciously and intentionally choose to find the glimmers in the dark. You always inspire me with how you're pushing on and dealing with the low blow nature dealt you. x
DeleteI've not heard that mantra before Leanne, so thanks for enlightening me! I do like looking for glimmers and enjoy reading different mantras. I love that you want a life of goodness and grace and you're definitely living that well!
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I remember a few mantras popping up over the covid era - "every little cell in my body is happy, every little cell in my body is well..." I think if something's a little catchy and we think about it regularly it shifts our worldview a little and reminds us that we're in control of our thoughts. Anything good and delightful gets a priority thought from me. x
DeleteI like that mantra, Leanne. Obviously, good things happen to all of us and frequently, as long as we remember to include all the little joys. Using a mantra is one powerful way to shift your focus to those good things. Honing that focus is also the point of my nightly Three Good Things journal. Like you, I'm in a really good place right now where seeing all the good is easy, but I hope by strengthening my focus on the positive, when hard times come again, I will find it easier to appreciate the good things that continue to happen.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - I completely agree with you about strengthening our focus on the good, and reminding ourselves of all the good in our lives. I notice how easily I'm hit by small niggles and how they can seem so much bigger if I let them creep in and take over my thoughts. It really is a process of replacing them with the positives and redirecting always.
DeleteI see and read some great words and ideas here Leanne. Thanks for sharing them. I too am someone who has a way of understanding how things are going for me via ACT..."BUT" the old ways of thinking, and the negativity bias are strong. I am learning to re-frame. That's helping. I am not a fan of the word "deserves" because it seems to indicate a judgement of 'good' or 'bad' ...I am a fan of being AWARE of the good we feel, share and can see and noticing that with appreciation, gratitude and grace. Sorry I am a bit late this week!!
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - always better late than never. :) I'm also trying to reframe the idea of "deserving" things - I personally believe that I've spent waaaaay too long trying to earn approval and my place in the world - that's where the 'deserving' comes into play. Now I just let myself take up space where I'm welcome and that's also why I find being home so lovely - it's a good place to be.
DeleteHi Leanne, The concept of manifestations is always interesting to me. I don’t know whether it is a coincidence or not … does it even matter, as long as the result is a good one. You are right how sometimes I don’t feel worthy of the little good things happening often. I like the thought-provoking concept from your husband … evaluating a thought with questions. xx 💕 Erica
ReplyDeleteHi Erica - I've always shied away from the idea of thinking that I deserve good things - it's like I feel I have to earn every single one of them. I'm hoping that this second half of life will be a continual reminder that all the hard work of the first half means I can relax and enjoy the fruit of it all and that it's okay to just "be" in that place. :)
Delete