COUNTING MY SUMMERS...
I read a poem by my favourite poet,
Ullie-Kaye, the other day that was titled "80 Summers" and it reminded me of an
article I saw a little while ago while I was cruising around online.
It asked the question "How Many Summers Do I Have Left?" and it made me
pause for a moment to count them - it doesn't feel like the number was
anywhere near as high as I'd expected it to be.
So, I've been asking myself what happened to the summers that have gone,
and what I can do with the summers that I have left?
OTHER SUMMERS
I was also reminded that we only have 18 summers or so with our children - those are long gone for us, and I wonder if I appreciated them as much as I could have. Raising kids back in the 90's was all hands on deck and I don't think I paused often enough to remind myself of how little time we have with them in our full-time care. I probably didn't take enough photos, or make enough memories - life just kept rolling on and here we are with adult kids who are married and living their own summers. I hope their memories of family summers are happy ones and they form the basis for creating more of their own.I've also had 43 summers with my lovely husband and that never ceases to amaze me - where has the time gone, and how many more summers will we have together? To paraphrase Taylor Swift:
I've loved you (forty) three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all...
Life together seems to get easier and better with age - we've found our
groove and life just flows. That being said, it's so important not to take
things for granted and to keep loving well for the rest of those summers we
have together.
WORKING LIFE SUMMERS
There were also all the working summers - about 40 of them - where we
snatched a couple of weeks' vacation time and then it was back to the job and
paying the bills. Those 40 summers are gone now and I don't miss all the
juggling of time and commitments, I love the freedom and flexibility I have
now I'm retired.
It's been 5 summers of living
the retired life
and I think that I've been reborn during that time. I want as many more
retired summers as life can possibly send my way, and I want to live them on
my own terms. I'm so grateful that I got to retire early and have several
extra summers that weren't just two week vacations.
WHY COUNT OUR SUMMERS?
I'm in the middle of my 63rd summer right now and it makes me wonder
where the time's gone. I refer to Midlife a lot, but when I start doing
the math I realize that I'm well into my final third of life. Going on the
average lifespan of women in Australia (83.20 years) I have exactly 20
more summers left to enjoy. Wow..... just wow.... Counting summers makes
the reality hit home of how life is speeding along and how much is already
in the rearview mirror.
I have 20 more summers to potter, to engage with others, to enjoy those
adult kids of ours, and our two lovely grandgirls. I still have time to
learn, time to figure out what's really important, time to travel, time to
love and be loved. There's no guarantees, but I'm hoping that there's
still those 20 Summers ahead of me to relish, and to live and love with the
people who love me. If I get any extra summers then I'll do my best to
enjoy those too - getting older can be a little daunting at times, but
attitude is everything
- and I intend to soak up those "lazy, hazy days" of every summer I'm
blessed with.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Have you thought about where you are on life's timeline? Are you making the
most of your summers before they're in the rearview mirror? Any tips on
living this third of life well?
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That's an interesting way to look at things Leanne! I agree with you attitude is everything! How we cope with what life throws at us is so important. I wish you many happy summers doing what you love best.
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I think sometimes life just gives me a little jolt and reminds me that I'm not 35 afterall and that living well and making the most of the summers I've been given is so important. I wish you many happy summers ahead too. x
DeleteThis is a tough one for me, Leanne. I try not to think about the past, though I do have many pleasant memories to savor, especially the years that we also got to retire early, and travel the world. I do think a little about the future, as well, but mostly l find myself just living in the moment, more and more. I love this time that I'm able to spend with Tim. We rarely had a moment together when we were both working. We really communicate, now, and it's the best time in our lives.
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - I am often pausing to savour the joy of early retirement. I can't believe that we have this extra decade of not working and that we get to live life exactly how we want to. We don't have your travel bug (or sense of adventure...) but we do enjoy the freedom and the contentment of not working for someone else, and doing life on our own terms and our own timetable - it makes the summers we have left even more enjoyable. x
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ReplyDeleteToday is my 70th birthday, and I don't remember feeling this panicked about a birthday. By ANY standard, I am old. Last year was a difficult one, physically, and I'm facing more problems expected. It is quite sobering to realize our days are numbered.
Hi Laura - I can totally relate to milestone birthdays being a bit of a wake-up call. I seem to have a small epiphany when mine roll around - which is weird seeing we're only a day older than we were before we woke up on our birthday!
DeleteI'm sorry to hear that last year wasn't a good one, and that there's still more ahead to deal with.....my mum often reminds me that 'getting older ain't for no sissies' and it rings true each time my body decides to feel its age. I hope this year turns itself around for you and there are some joyful seasons in your near future - and please be kind to yourself as you navigate the not-so-fabulous ones. x
Happy Birthday, Laura! I can relate to not being well and having to face more challenges in the future. I am sending you strength, love and a peaceful heart. People like you and me are often forgotten or dismiss. I hope this year will be a better one and know that you're not alone. Take care! 🎂
DeleteYour husband is one lucky guy. You have barely changed in your appearance in 43years!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh what a lovely thing to say - thank you so much. Life blurs the edges and melds how I see us into a mix of then and now :)
DeleteSo true that attitude is everything!
ReplyDeleteI take that number thing with a grain of salt, when it comes to how many summers we have or how long we live, because we simply don't know that. I read somewhere that on average we live 70 years and therefore I personally only would have 19 left and use them wisely, yada yada. I felt that was a very negative way to see it.
Instead I've chosen to think that there are people who live until they're 100. This means I potentially have 49 years left. And my first 50 pretty much sucked, so I'm going to rock the second half of my life. If I live shorter than that then fine, at least I try to make the most of life no matter how many years I have left.
Suzanne, rock on!
DeleteHi Susanne - I find the average age thing a bit of a red herring because my mum is 83 and not looking like she's planning on checking out any time in the next decade or two! Which is lucky because I'd miss her too much if she ticked the 'average' box.
DeleteI think I feel like I have decades and decades to go, then I get a weird result on a health check and start writing my own obituary in my head, then flip back again when it all turned out to be for nothing. I love that I'm so happy with this second half of life too - it has just been the absolute best - and I intend to enjoy every single summer that comes my way (and the winters too!) We'll rock them together :)
Your post is very interesting timing...I turn 70 next week. I feel a little caught off guard. As in, "wait, how did this happen?'. I rocked turning 60 - feeling all full of myself. But this is different. Taking care of my myself physically is a high priority (after breast cancer and back surgeries), and I am working on challenging my brain more. The cross-country move we made 4 years ago was the second best decision in my entire life. I LOVE our life out here in the Midwest; so very very glad we left the West coast. So, from this particular mountain peak in my life, it's all good. And I am fully aware of how incredibly blessed I am.
ReplyDeleteKristine, I am wishing you a happy Birthday and many more. I certainly can relate to the health issues. Easy to think that life is wonderful when things are going well but not so when health issues or other problems rear their ugly head. Keep enjoying your life in the Midwest. Wish I would have had your courage and move away years ago.
DeleteHi Kristine - 70 always seemed so "old" to me, and yet it's just around the corner and I don't feel like it's quite as "old" as I imagined! So many women are stepping into their 70s after conquering health battles or other life crises - and sharing how grateful they are to be around still to enjoy the summers they have left.
DeleteI'm so grateful for every woman (like yourself) who is lighting the way towards 70 with such grace and positivity - life isn't perfect, there's no free ride, but it can still be really good. Happy nearly-birthday. xx
Thank you for the post. It truly is something to think about.
ReplyDeleteHi April - I think it's good to remind ourselves of all the good that has gone before, and all the good that's still to come. We need to focus on the present, but we can still be grateful for all the summers behind and ahead. :)
DeleteI can relate to the reader who said 'I rocked turning 60' ... but, turning 70 is very different. I have felt changes happening for a few years, but never more than the past few weeks. Still, I am trying to make the most of my days and enjoy life. Staying within myself (not pushing hard, or retreating backward) seems to work best at this stage of life.
ReplyDeleteHi Suzanne - I think that those who are turning 70 (or in their 70s) remind us that "getting old ain't for no sissies" but that we can still be very grateful for the gift of aging, and that there are so many good days in amongst those trials we face as our bodies start to wear out a bit.
DeleteI'm finding that there's more serious health stuff popping into my world since turning 60, and I'm not going to get any younger, so I just need to really appreciate what each day brings, and I think we all can be kind to ourselves and set a pace (different for each of us) that reflects what living well looks and feels like for us. x
Oh I feel like summer is the one season I have done real well at making the most of-- both for just me and with my boys when they were younger. It didn't hurt that we lived on a lake and had all day every day to enjoy and we/we've host/hosted so many family and friends here.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - your lake house photos bring such joy with them every time I see them on your blog. It's certainly a huge blessing to live somewhere that offers so much enjoyment for the family as a whole. Getting older changes things, but if we continue on with the patterns we create, life can give us many more lovely summers to enjoy. :)
DeleteI had an interesting conversation recently about "time left" that did make me stop. Someone said she didn't want to waste 2 of her few years left in limbo, rebuilding a home. (She's selling the property and moving away.) It did make me worry a bit about this upcoming year - the stress of it, the challenges of it, the limbo. Because yes, we don't know how many summers we have left, but for sure there are more behind us than in front of us.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat - it really boils down to what "living well" looks like for each of us. I know people who happily pack up and move house regularly, while others are in the same home they raised their children in. It seems that stress and boredom look different for each of us. I do understand how daunting rebuilding would be and why that woman chose not to pursue it - but we've (hopefully) got many summers left in us, and living them in your new, bespoke, lovingly designed home will be a joy for you I'm sure. x
DeleteHi, Leanne - Very wise words once again. In the midst of summer, it is easy to think it will last forever. Sadly, that is not the case. It is up to up to make the most of each moment we are given. Thank you for this important reminder.
ReplyDeleteHi Donna - I think winter becomes more of a reality for us as we age, and reminding ourselves that the years go by so fast helps us to weather the challenges and to appreciate the summers. A lot comes down to our attitude and expectations - I'm doing my best to be grateful for every summer I'm blessed with.
DeleteI don't often think about the years left; it could all end in the next breath. However, I think about where I will live next when I'm no longer able to manage my rural property. I do wonder who will advocate for me when I'm no longer able to do that for myself. The numbers say there should be another 16 yrs left. I think about 16 yrs ago when my first grandchild was 1yr old. Now there are 2 teenagers. I think about the house I designed & built that's now 24 yrs old, my home in the hills that ticks so many boxes for me. I think of the people I've lost, the people who are still here, the people I have yet to meet. I trust that I will engage in life & welcome all the seasons. Thank you for a thought provoking post.
ReplyDeleteHi Mona - I tend to not think too far ahead either - our "kids" live a couple of hours away and won't be playing a huge part in our aging process (except for the occasional phone call or visit) and I remind my husband that we'll have to make decisions about our home and aging in place in the next 10 years. He thinks he'll be 40 forever and I keep bursting his bubble by reminding him that 40 was a long time ago!
DeleteI'm grateful that we're both loving where we live, loving our lifestyle, feeling very content and at peace. None of us knows when our last breath will be, but I want to enjoy every moment I'm given in the meantime! :)
What an interesting way to remind us to be mindful and enjoy every moment, Leanne. I have experienced 62 summers so far, and no one knows for sure how many more are on the horizon, but I do know there won't be many more than 30...and possibly many fewer than that. I definitely want to enjoy each one.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - yes, it does put it all into perspective doesn't it? It reminds me that I'm well past the halfway mark and to make the most of the summers I have left. :)
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