WHEN "REST" KEEPS APPEARING
I've noticed that the word "Rest" has been appearing in my Facebook feed a
lot lately, and I'm finding myself drawn to thoughts and words that repeat
in patterns - I feel like life is trying to tell me something. So when this
quote arrived on my screen I decided I needed to curate a few of those
restful reminders and share them...
WHAT DOES TRUE REST LOOK LIKE IN OUR 60'S?
I follow Krista from
A Life In Progress
because she advocates for a balanced and calm approach to living life well.
She's been sharing some of her thoughts on
living life more slowly
- something I'm a huge advocate for in Midlife, and she always has practical
tips for this stage of life.
Some of her suggestions for finding rest in your 50's and 60's
include:
- Laying down responsibility for other people's happiness and choices (a big one for me!)
- Prioritizing quality sleep and seeking help if you're not finding it.
- Doing nothing, guilt and judgement free (I do love a Do-Nothing Day each week).
- Letting your needs be first (a big one for those of us who are oldest children).
- Playing, dabbling, exploring, and puttering (I'm loving being able to dabble).
- Choosing a joyful and healthy mindset towards aging.
- Embracing the day and letting go of comparisons about how life used to be.
- Savouring and feeling good in the midst of a noisy, busy, messy world.
- Using your gifts and letting yourself shine.
- Stripping away the physical and emotional clutter to focus on our values.
WHY DO WE NEED TO PRIORITIZE REST?
It's so tempting to keep pushing forward and adding as much as possible
into each day, but our bodies aren't designed for living life at that pace -
particularly as we get older. We don't have to retire to our rocking chairs
and watch everyone else having a good time, but we can give ourselves the
grace of living life at a gentler pace. I notice how much more time I have
now that I'm no longer working, and I remind myself that I don't have to jam
everything into every available moment any more. I have the time and space
to spread my week's activities out.
Life will always come in bursts of busyness, but we can balance that out
with days of calm, time in nature, or with a good book, or in quiet
conversations. Learning to find the joy in the quiet - allowing silence to
seep into our day, turning off the noise....not everything needs a backing
sound track! I feel sorry for all the people I see walking with their ears
jammed with headsets - they miss so much of the quiet beauty that's all
around them. It's good to get out of our heads and into some peace.
ANOTHER THOUGHT FROM KRISTA
This quote from Krista popped up during the "Rest Phase" in my social media,
and I thought I'd share it to round things off, she has such a wonderful way
of summing things up:
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Have you made rest a part of your lifestyle choices? Do you find there are
periods of busyness that are balanced by rest, or are you still running your
life at full speed? What does rest look like for you?
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Interesting read, Leanne. Lately I've been resting more and enjoying it. That need to be 'on the go' has been taken from me and for a good reason...exhaustion. It's lovely part of my path to recovery that I am finding of value. Denyse x
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I think getting the right amount of rest is crucial to avoid burn-out and exhaustion. We all need different amounts, and it varies due to our stage of life, but I really believe that our busy world would benefit from a lot of us pacing ourselves better and not trying to prove we can do it all. So glad you've found your balance. x
DeleteHi Leanne. We're about to take a rest from this busy travel lifestyle, and make our home back in the states. We both feel like it's time. I'm not sure where we're going yet, but I Know I'm ready for a slower pace. There are activities that I want to try that I can't really do while traveling. I'll let you know where we're going, I really enjoyed this latest post.
ReplyDeleteWow!! That's a big step for you guys - returning to homebase after so long away. I'll look forward to hearing your reasons behind the move and where you'll be living, and what you'll be doing. Sending you good wishes and safe travels home again. x
DeleteI am in my late forties, and only now am I learning to listen to what I want rather than what I think I should want. The other day, I went out to see a play with friends, and they wanted to continue to a venue with what was supposed to be some open-air dancing. In my past life, I would have dragged myself there for fear of missing out, but I didn’t feel like loud music or dancing. It was already 10 p.m., and I wanted to go home. So I did. And it felt good to make that decision purely based on my own needs at that moment, regardless of what I might be missing out on. I think I will make a list of what true rest looks like for me. Thank you for this reminder.
ReplyDeleteHi Stella - I often think I've become an introvert since I hit 50 (my husband disagrees...) because I just don't thrive on constantly being "on" anymore. Much like yourself, I'd have chosen to go home to the peace and quiet - even if it meant missing out on another outing. I love my home, I love the quiet, I love letting my brain be calm. I hope you have fun making that list - including JOMO - the joy of missing out :)
DeleteHi Leanne,
ReplyDeleteRest is so important at all ages more so when one is older. Earlier, I could live a life of hectic pace. But no longer. I am now consciously trying to slow down and give myself adequate rest.
You have listed out very important points. I have made a note of them.
Thank you for this nice post.
Hi Pradeep - I think we learn to be gentler with ourselves as we get older - we don't feel the same drive to do everything and be included in everything - it's okay to say no to things that drain our energy and to make choices that re-fill our tank. I love that the choice is different for each of us, but still valid too.
DeleteHi, Leanne - In my working life I typically slept 5 hours each night. In my retired life I sleep an average of 9 solid each night. I now can't imagine how I survived on just 5! :D
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how you survived on 5 hours sleep either Donna! I couldn't do that and function - and to add your super responsible career on top of that blows my mind a little. We'll celebrate 9 hours of solid sleep each night - definitely a blessing to savour!
DeleteHi Leanne, I retired last October and I’m still figuring out ‘rest’. The first few months we rushed into lots of travelling but this year we’ve slowed down. I’m still figuring it out, without that guilty feeling of ‘I should be doing something’. One way I do relax is by reading, something I just didn’t have time to do while I was working.
ReplyDeleteI think retirement is such an adjustment if you've been working solidly right up to the time you stop. It feels like you have to pack in all the things you now have time for. It takes a while to realize that there's more free time and you can stretch things out over the week - when that new way of living settles in, rest becomes part of the balance. Enjoy those books you now have time for - I'm a big fan of reading too.
DeleteI really needed to read this today, Leanne. I've been feeling kind of low of late and know that I must really rest more - and rest without guilt. A Do Nothing day a week sounds like a fabulous idea.
ReplyDeleteResting without feeling guilty is so difficult to learn in a world that celebrates busyness - I've finally managed to incorporate it into my week because I'm finding I have the time for it, and it's all about balance and allowing myself to enjoy this time I worked to hard to have. It's blissful having a Do Nothing Day each week - spoil yourself!
DeleteRest is one of the 6 "doctors" in addition to sun, water, air, nutrition, exercise. Maybe it's the libra in me but I've always attempted to balance activity with rest on a daily, weekly, monthly or seasonal basis. I just spent 4 days in a downtown city condo assisting a friend post-op. I can't tell you how I longed for the restfulness of the country. I don't experience FOMO; I ascribe to JOMO.
ReplyDeleteHi Mona - I totally understand JOMO - I feel like I've become a lot less "people-y" since I retired. I find that too much noise is just too much for my soul. I long for the quiet and I savour the time when I'm in my own space and calm. Good on you for stepping up for your friend, the return home will certainly be sweet!
DeleteHave been away for awhile from the joy of reading your blog and commenting. Rest was suddenly mandatory as I dealt with some health issues. Certainly I felt the benefit but then it was not long before I chided myself for being lazy. Also I felt the lack of energy that involvement gives. This past week has been filled with more outgoing activity and I have felt more energy because of it. However I always include a rest period in the late afternoon with a calming music to accompany the relaxation. And, I'm glad to be back!!
ReplyDeleteHi Judy - lovely to have you back in my comment section and sharing your wisdom. I hope all the health stuff is sorted and you're all good again. You're right about needing activity as well as the quiet. Too much of "nothing" can be just as out of balance as too much busyness - I'm sure there's a sweet spot that's as individual as we are. I'd just like to see rest being emphasised as much as busyness is in our world. Enjoy your late afternoons - they sound lovely. I try to get all my "doing" stuff done by lunchtime so my afternoons are free for me.
DeleteLeanne, as I am going through very difficult times and just find out about more heart-breaking news, I have to say that I am exhausted. I try to take care of myself by going to bed early but I am unable to stay asleep as the stress is overwhelming. I am in survival mode but I feel that I am sinking fast. There's a waiting list to see a therapist and very costly. Went out to the park yesterday after 3 weeks of being indoors as I didn't have the energy to get dressed and go out. I suffer from chronic insomnia since childhood. I prayed all my life to just have one restful night and even when to a sleep clinic where I was told that nothing could be done and that was my cross to bear. I tried meditation and Mindfulness, read a ton of books, did research and intellectually I understand but it's the emotions that gets in the way. I can't say that I didn't try and I am still trying. I like that you included Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui especially the line 'To only spend time in places and with people who can handle truth-telling.' Thank you for such a relevant topic . "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
ReplyDeleteYvonne I'm so sorry to hear that you've had even more to bear. Some people just seem to receive an unfair load to carry. I wish I had something helpful to say or do, but all I can do is send you my wishes for a little light to find its way back into your life. Your visit to the park may be the beginning of moving forward. Take it slowly, and inch by inch I'm sure you'll find your way again. Be extra kind to yourself, nap where you can, rest where you can, and the light definitely is never completely overcome by the dark. x
DeleteI really enjoyed reading this, Leanne. It was a wonderful and gentle reminder of the importance of rest. All of the ideas for rest resonated so much. I was about to pick one to highlight but couldn’t, they are all so good. Thank you for sharing them. While I sometimes still get caught up with thoughts of what I ‘should’ be doing, I do find that rest has become a much higher priority for me in the last few years. I let myself rest more often than I ever have in my life, and it feels good.
ReplyDeleteHi Sue - I feel the same way, and I like that rest isn't all about taking a "nana nap" but about doing things that boost our wellbeing and allow space to breathe. There's a lot of noise and busyness that is encouraged in our world today, I think there needs to be other voices advocating for what's good for our hearts and minds - not what looks good on social media. :) Rest is so important, and I've come to appreciate it too.
DeleteI am struggling to allow myself to rest more these days. Like you said, that is difficult for a mom who has always worried about (and felt some responsibility for) the happiness of her children and others. As another firstborn child, I also find it difficult to put my needs before others'. But I am learning. Last week I was sick with a stomach bug for 3-4 days in a row and that kept me from doing most of the things I would normally do. I even stayed in bed most of one day. And guess what? My family survived!! The kitties got fed, the litter boxes were cleaned, Paul figured out his meals and my kids managed their lives without my input for a day or two!!
ReplyDeleteWe have begun going to the gym about 5 days a week and doing so really eats into my day day. So the rest of the time, I am scrambling to get things done. Going to try to identify 2-3 must-dos for each day and then allow myself to enjoy reading for a few minutes, or crafting, or even closing my eyes. It is just hard when you've spent 60 years trying very hard to do it all.
Hi Leslie - I know exactly what you're saying, but I'm finding that the more I allow others to step up, the more likely they are to do so, and they often do the same job as well as I did (or even better). It's hard to let go of the control of being the "mother" to everyone, but once you put your own needs on the table, the adjustment gets easier.
DeleteI aim to have my afternoons free as much as possible - that allows me time to potter, to read, to collage, or to blog, or do whatever is calm and pleasant. My world feels much calmer and more balanced when I respect my own needs in amongst respecting the needs of others.
I hope you're feeling recovered and back on top of things now - I think your body was reminding you to fit in some rest :)
I agree Leanne rest is vital for us and your post shows this so well, as do the comments of others here! My motto is 'we can only do what we can do'. Take care x
ReplyDeleteI like that motto Deb - it's a great reminder that we can do anything, but not everything. This is our time of life to find that sweet spot between doing and being.
Delete