THERE IS MORE THAN ONE TYPE OF STRESS
Recently I've been feeling quite stressed. I can feel it within myself - that unsettledness, the tightness in my chest, my heart beating a bit faster etc. The weird thing is that I'm not under pressure, I'm not dealing with anything upsetting or overwhelming....but I'm still feeling stressed.
What's with that? Well, it turns out that there's more than one type of stress - the negative "distress" that I've always been familiar with (that toxic job being the pinnacle!) and then there's a different kind that my husband told me is called "eustress" - why didn't I know about this?!
WHAT IS EUSTRESS?
According to Pyschology Today (and my husband):
Eustress is the positive form of stress. It comes from the Greek word "eu," meaning "good," and "stress." Eustress is the kind of stress that motivates and energizes us. It's the feeling you get when you're excited about a new project, preparing for a big event, or facing a challenge that feels just within your reach.
MY CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES
The eustress I'd been feeling was due to an exciting event in my life (not an upheaval) and it threw me a little to be feeling out of sorts when I should have been happy and excited. It wasn't that I didn't feel happy, it was just this extra layer of unexpected unsettledness that was throwing me off. So what was the underlying happy event and eustress-er?
I bought a new car. Not just any new car, a new electric car. I'd owned the same little Mazda 2 for 13 years and I'd been filling the petrol tank regularly, pushing the buttons and knobs on the dash, sliding a CD into the slot when I wanted music, and generally ignoring all the advances in modern motoring over the last decade or so..... Then one day out of the blue I had a brain spasm and fell in love with a funky little electric car that I saw online. I went to the car dealership to have a look at it and.... (completely out of character for an over-thinking, frugal, oldest child)... an hour later I walked out with a signed contract and a trade-in deal. Then, a week later, it was time to pick up my new car.
MY EUSTRESS
The lovely salesman handed me my new keys, took my photo next to my lovely new vehicle with it's giant red ribbon, and waved me off as I drove away. All good so far....
I'd watched several Youtube videos on my car and thought I would be an expert on it all - but you don't know what you don't know....and there was a lot I didn't know! I'd never had all the electronic dashboard stuff, now there was bluetoothing between my phone and car, the indicator was on the opposite side, the cruise control was in a new place, the gears were a round knob, the braking was different, there was no handbrake as such, and the charging was a whole new world! So much to learn, and it threw me more than I expected. So I read the owner's manual from cover to cover (I'd never needed to do that before) and re-read the important bits - and I still had lots of hands-on stuff to get my head around - while keeping my eyes on the road!
STRESS CAN BE GOOD FOR US
What I realized, as I was thinking about how stressed I was feeling, was that it was okay to be a bit rattled by all of this, it meant I was learning new things, that I was figuring stuff out, that I'd basically moved from analogue to digital in the car world and it would take a bit of getting used to. I didn't have to know it all immediately (although an "Electric Car For Dummies" guide would have been handy!) and I was doing fine - that it was a good kind of stress. I'm re-framing the old belief that all stress is awful, to some stress just being part of adjusting to new parameters.
What I need to remember is that I have a bea-you-ti-ful new red car (I've named her Ruby), she drives like a dream, she makes me smile, and....I'm figuring things out. I'm not too old to learn something new, I'm not dealing with anything distressing, it's just new, and a challenge, and a change, and I can step up, and in a couple of months this will all be "normal". My small, unchangeable world has changed a little, and that brings with it some small adjustments and a learning curve - and that's good. I'm really happy, so that makes it happy stress..... or good stress.... or eustress.... and I'm up for the challenge.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Have you heard of "eustress" before? Have you ever been stressed about something that's good? I'm feeling very blessed to have something so new to be eustressed over, and I know I'll be feeling calm again - once I get my head around it all!
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Happy new car! It's a cutie, too...
ReplyDeleteThanks Jo - I just love her - especially now the stress levels are simmering down to normal again! :)
DeleteThanks for the advice and encouragement. I’m looking at doing what you have just done . Having had both hips replaced, the flexibility is not as great as it once was. I have to be able to have a decent height, not too high and yet not too low, to get in and out of the car. My search is ongoing. How have you found this car for that ?
ReplyDeleteI do like the over look and color and love her name 😊
I love my new car for accessibility and for how zippy and quiet it is. I did a bit of research when electric cars started to appeal (our daughter and son-in-law bought a BYD and loved it) and then I saw this one and the look of it just spoke to me. I never do spontaneous, expensive things.....well, never before this one! and I'm so glad I did - the learning curve (and eustress) has been worth figuring my way through because it's been a joy drive (and definitely not too high or too low - she's just right...) Let me know if you want more info (send me an email if you don't want to do it on here.... leanne.crestingthehill@gmail.com)
DeleteI didn't know the word eustress but I have experienced it for sure!! When I got my new car in 2023, I experienced many of the feelings you have described. I had driven my 2008 Altima for close to 15 years and I wasn't familiar with all of the blue tooth and rear and side camera stuff and all the beeps and buttons. But it is good for us to work to figure these things out. Your new baby is adorable. Love the vibrant red color. I went from a green car (my fave color) to a white car but wish I had gone with something more fun. May you have years of enjoyable, safe travel in Ruby!!
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie - there was a white version in the car yard, but the red was just gorgeous and available if I was happy to wait for a week or two. There was a gorgeous blue/green too, but my old car was that colour when I bought it and I wanted a change. The learning curve was steep, but I'm feeling more on top of things as I settle into it all, and a new car is such a joy!
DeleteElectric Car For Dummies is a real book! I googled it after reading your comment! Lol!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the new car and she looks beautiful! May you have many happy trips with her!
Good stress is learning new things. Bad stress is the anxiety/angst over bad things.
Enjoy the good stress and go with the flow into new travels of happy wanderings with Ruby!
Well....there goes my chance to make a killing by writing "Electric Cars for Dummies"! I may have to puchase it to get past my very superficial understanding of what I'm now driving! I do love my new ride and I'm glad to be out of the dark ages of vehicle ownership - but I do miss how simple my old car was!
DeleteThat's a great story on stress Leanne, such a cute little car too! Have fun learning all the things you need to know. May you and Ruby have many trips together.
ReplyDeleteI was a bit like that when I rejigged my blog theme over the weekend (and brought it into the 21st century), learning new things, out of my comfort zone and ultimately enjoying the challenges so another example of eustress!
Hi Deb - I actually thought about blogging as a great example of eustress - when we try a new theme, or do an update, or figure out something to make it all go more smoothly. The bigger the update, the more eustress, and the greater the reward at the end. Your blog looks great - and it'll feel like it's always been that way before too long (much like driving Ruby will feel for me in another couple of months).
DeleteBeen there, done that. The new car thing. And mine's red, too, though I don't call her anything. I switched a couple of years ago to an automatic from a manual. Oh the eustress was real.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the article though, because you have given a name to the feelings I get almost every time something good is going to disturb or normally quiet and peaceful life. An upcoming holiday? Will I find the house we've rented? Will it be nice? Will the area be a good one? All those thoughts leading up to departure day. And now I know what it is!
And eustress? Close cousin of euphoria, right?
Hi Lynn - yes to all the holiday stuff - I get it too! Anything that's new (even socially) gets my heart rate up and the butterflies happening. Discovering that it was a positive thing and not something I needed to "fix" made me view the whole experience differently. My new car is fantastic, but it also has a lot of things to figure out - and I can't do that while I'm driving - so I had to think, read, learn..... but I'm getting there....
DeleteAnd yes - eu-phoria is probably means good-feeling, so definitely in the same family of feeling the good stuff :)
What a lovely car Leanne! I bought a nearly new car last year. I think I went through eustress and not so good stress when buying her though! The eustress was overtaken by bad stress when I had to ask the garage to sort out a couple of things on purchase. It took 3 visits before they corrected them and I was so stressed that I was getting palpitations! Thankfully everything turned out great and I kind of enjoyed the eustress of learning how to drive a hybrid car rather than my 17 year old petrol automatic. Now I’ve just got to figure out a name for her! She’s Midnight Blue! 😊 Have fun driving Ruby! Chrissie x
ReplyDeleteHi Chrissie - I guess eustress and distress can co-exist (or we can fluctuate between them) and I totally get how stressful mechanical issues can be when you don't expect them and they don't resolve quickly. Our son has a hybrid and he loves the reliability of having cheap electric trips but the back-up of fuel for longer trips. I think electric cars will get better at longer travel as technology improves - or when more rapid chargers are installed at fuel stations - I've heard the US is more forward thinking in this area than Australia...we'll get there though (esp with all the fuel issues that this war has brought to the everyone's attention!)
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