OUR PATH ISN'T ALWAYS STRAIGHT
When I was younger I assumed that life was a straight path - maybe there'd be a few bumps along the way, and maybe even an occasional small detour, but basically a+b=c and if I made plans and tried my best to control all the variables, I'd end up with a pretty smooth journey.
How wrong I was! Now I've come to see that straight paths appear here and there, but more often it's a spiral, or there's rough terrain to navigate, or it's a dead end...life is definitely not defined by smoothly paved, wide avenues.
Often our biggest successes, and where we find ourselves growing, are found in the challenging, unexpected paths that weren't what we'd have chosen; but they bring us to new destinations that are often better for us than if we hadn't been brave enough to navigate them.
SPIRAL PATHS
Sometimes I question why it feels like I'm taking longer to arrive at the next season of my life, or to become more of who I'd like to be. I want to get there without too much introspection or pain, to jump from Point A to Point XYZ without covering the messy parts in-between. Then I saw this quote recently on Tiny Buddah and it makes a lot of sense:
The path isn't a straight line. It's a spiral. You continually come back to things you thought you understood, and see deeper truths.
Barry H. Gillespie
It reminds me of those meditation labyrinths in parks or on beaches that allow us to meander and to revisit paths until we find our way to the centre. Different entry points, different routes, but eventually we arrive if we focus on where we want to be.
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| Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash |
HILLS AND VALLEYS
I think hills and valleys sum up my life - the ups, the downs, the tough climbs, the easy descents....it feels like this great meme where it should be a flat road from start to finish, but it's an epic ordeal/adventure in real life. I'm sure there are people who have an easier journey, but mine has definitely encompassed many a hill and many a valley (even my blog title references this!)
Life after 60 feels a little less dramatic - all those highs and lows have built up my stamina and changed some of my expectations, and I think I've got some of this life journey figured out. But that being said, there is always a surprise waiting around the next corner - and maybe even a Stop sign that means re-routing and heading in a new direction. And that brings me to dead ends....
DEAD ENDS
My time in a toxic job, that almost broke my fairly robust resilience, taught me that choosing something that looks good on the surface may end up proving to be a lot less appealing than it seemed. I now keep in mind the saying "if something seems too good to be true, it probably is". Doors close, dead ends happen, but they can bring us to a better understanding of what's important and what's a good fit. I really liked this quote from Solace in Solitude:
What felt like loss was mercy in disguise, and one day, with healed eyes and a steadier heart, you will thank God for the removal that saved you.
Some endings happen so your faith can grow, your discernment can sharpen, and your heart can remain soft without being broken. God did not take something from you to leave you empty. He removed it to make room for what will finally meet you in peace
Leaving that job was heartwrenching for me at the time, but looking back now, I'm beyond grateful for the opportunity to retire early, to realign myself, and to be living in joy instead of dreading each new week. Dead ends can be a sign to take the other fork in the road to a better destination.
WHERE IS YOUR PATH LEADING?
I'm hoping that my path continues in a fairly pleasant direction in the years ahead, with a gentle breeze to accompany it. I really like the idea of meandering along and smelling the roses, but I'm also open to a few course changes along the way.
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I realised the other day that it's 10 years since we set the plan to get Grant out of his toxic job and move up here. We wouldn't have this life if he hadn't been bullied the way he had been. Hindsight's a wonderful thing, but as tough as they are, the hills are there for a reason.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - I feel the same way about my old job. I wouldn't want to ever go through it again, but once we step up and make a few hard choices, we end up on a new path and it often leads to a wonderful new "normal" that we love (and that we deserve) x
DeleteHi Jo, isn't that interesting..but also a very tough way to learn for G and you...and now look where you are ...a great space and place to be. D x
DeleteThe insights that you share so eloquently and ‘hit the target’ are inspiring , helpful and thought provoking. Thank you 🙏 Irene
ReplyDeleteHi Irene - thank you so much for your kind words - I love sharing my thoughts here, and when someone tells me that they resonate, it makes it even more special. x
DeleteOh yes to this...and how 'easy' it would be to have a straight path..in my case thinking about healthr recovery after burn out. But our bodies and brains are complex and places of old habits and starting anything new can seem threatening. I am learning, every day, to continue to do what I know to help myself (and yes I have had therapy and my GP on board, and that wonderful counsellor trained husband) but in the end I cannot 'force' anything. In fact if I do, I know I go back a bit. So great points and yes to us being here too as cheerleaders along our broken paths with some steep hills! But we are doing this! Onward, I say.
ReplyDeleteHi Leanne, thanks for such a thought provoking post. I had to really think about the paths I’ve taken and why. A lot of my choices were made to please others or I took promotions at work I didn’t really want to in some way prove myself. Things ticked along, but I was not always happy as a result. When I made choices for myself it often took me on meandering paths, but in the end those paths were the most fulfilling and where I made many new friends. Now I’m retired I’m learning to choose more of what makes me happy, even if at first I’m afraid of something new, and if I don’t like it I can always change paths! If life takes me on unexpected uncomfortable paths, I try to remind myself of how many good things I have going on. Chrissie x
ReplyDeleteThe paths I seem to always chose are what everyone else has persuaded me to. I started out on my path and then things/people got in the way and it turned into what they wanted. I have always lead my life for everyone else, I put them before me. My last job just about broke my health because I felt like I had to keep taking on more and more. Then they decided they did not want me to work anymore there and so they had some people lie on me and they let me go even though a few months earlier I was the best employee. It was time for raises and I had let one of the bosses know that I wanted to be made manager of the department, the other boss did not want to give me that promotion. So they let me go before any of that happened. Honestly it probably was the best thing that could have happened because my blood pressure was always high and I lived at that place. Now I am retired and probably happier but I am still doing what my daughter wants me to do. I'm tired and always seemed confused. I'm not getting any younger that's for sure, maybe one of these days I will start living for myself. Sorry for the long comment. I enjoy reading every week your blog. Thanks
ReplyDeleteHi Leanne, I think of all the decisions we have made in the past thirty years that have altered the trajectory of our lives - selling the business, moving to a new town, uprooting our daughter from friends and home, retiring, downsizing, etc. Sometimes I wonder how life might have been had we stayed with the path we were on, but mostly I am grateful for where we are now. We still have uncertainty in our lives, everyone does, but we are more at peace with what lies ahead.
ReplyDelete