WE ALL NEED ATTENTION
I loved the picture above of the kitten making sure she was getting attention. None of us like to feel ignored. So often we feel a part of things when we make the effort and keep in contact with everyone and what their doing, but what happens when we don't? What happens when we are too tired, or too stressed, or too sick, or too "whatever" to chase after people?MAKING TIME FOR OTHERS
When we drop the ball for a while we find out who our true friends are. The people who call or message to see how we're going or to tell us they missed us are the friends we need to keep in our lives. Fair weather friends who only show up when things are easy and the going is all plain sailing, are really not our friends.You can't ignore a cat who wants to sit on your lap, you can't ignore a dog who wants you to throw the ball for them and you shouldn't ignore friends who need you to step up and put some effort into the relationship when things are a bit tough for them. It's draining if things are always tough in their world, but more often it's just a passing phase and that little bit of time and attention can make all the difference.
FRIENDSHIP SHOULD BE RECIPROCATED
Hold on tight to the friends who go the extra mile for you. Don't forget to be one of those friends when it's your turn. Don't waste time on fair weather friends, instead make sure you know your own worth and invest in relationships where there is give and take and a healthy appreciation for each other. If it's always you making the effort, then I'd be asking what value there is in that friendship. A true friend contributes too - reciprocation is a sign that you're not being ignored and that your friendship is valued.
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I have been so aware of this as I planned for my milestone birthday party. Who has really been there for me? As you know I've been through some tough times and not everyone could go that extra mile for me. It really opens your eyes especially when you would do anything for them. On the other hand people who surprise you rise to the occasion.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I found after turning 50 Suzi - some friends really stepped up and others dropped the ball and I ended up moving on from them. One particular friend had been around for 30 years but she was a fair weather friend and I just couldn't be bothered any more - it is soooo free-ing!
DeleteYour 2nd paragraph is so very true. Sometimes so hard for us to understand or even "get" and yes, hold tight to those who love and care for you in tangible ways. Great post today!
ReplyDeleteCarol
http://carolcassara.com/balls-said-the-queen/
thanks Carol - I'm finally figuring out the definition of real friendship - and it is certainly to do with not always being the one who does the chasing!
DeleteThis always weighs heavy on my heart! Thanks for the uplifting reminder today.
ReplyDeleteMe too Michelle - learning what true friendship is has become one of the defining moments of midlife for me!
DeleteLovely, you and your cat are very insightful! When I went through cancer treatments it was shocking to see 'friends' fall off my radar. Those that hung in there with me I treasure. Those that disappeared from my life I didn't let back in once I regained my strength.
ReplyDeleteI think once you see someone's true colours you can't go back to the same relationship Haralee. To desert a friend in the middle of a crisis like cancer is just not cool.
DeleteAs always, lovely post. Your cat is smarter than most humans :)
ReplyDeleteShe's taught me a few life lessons along the way Rica - especially about being less bothered by the opinions of those who don't count :)
DeleteI love these posts based on your cat! Well written as always. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shirley - they end this week and I'm off on a new tangent next month - time for a change :)
DeleteI find it hard to keep up with it all and then I get overwhelmed and avoid everything. It's not a good way to be, but sometimes I just can't help it. Right now is a very stressful time for my family so what do I do. I hide out until it's over.
ReplyDeleteI think there was a life lesson back a few weeks ago from my cat about avoiding drama Rena - I think you fit that one quite nicely! Basically head down and find a safe place until it's time to emerge again when things quieten down - I hope that happens for you soon x
DeleteSuch smart words of wisdom. It is hard to balance how much you give with how much you get from others. I finally landed on being true to myself is the most important thing. Not everyone is able to be a "giver".
ReplyDeletethere has to be balance doesn't there Ellen? I think when you feel like you are being sucked dry or taken advantage of, then it's time to take a fresh look at things.
DeleteOh, your cat is wise beyond her years. The squeaky wheel gets greased but it's the people who don't have to wait until you squeak who should be cherished.
ReplyDeleteYes Lois! the ones who actually check in and care - rather than the ones that are too busy in their own little worlds to be bothered with yours until it suits them.
DeleteI feel blessed to have wonderful friends in my life that date back to high school. I don't know where I would be without them.
ReplyDeleteMe too Janie and I think there are some friends that are there for a lifetime, but there are also friends who gradually fade away into the background and it's okay to let them go. That's a lesson it's taken me many years to learn!
DeleteI've had a lot of health issues and you really find out who your friends are when that happens thanks for the lovely article so true what you state have a great day zen hugs and frankie my siamese sends zen purrrs
ReplyDeleteTrue friends are friends regardless of our circumstances - even when we need a bit more time and effort. The rest can take a hike in my opinion now days and our cats send love back to Frankie x
DeleteI've had some friends like this in the past and before I've got upset when they don't want to make the time for me, now I let it ride over my head. I'm blessed with so many friends who do want to spend time with me, why would I worry. It's a good life lesson.
ReplyDeleteSally @ Life Loving
#LifeLovingLinkie
I agree Sally - it's easy to get caught up on the few who are hard work, when we should be focusing on the friends who are there all the time being our support and cheer squad.
DeleteAh this is lovely, animals are such wonderful teachers. My cat always comes back to me for affection even though I'm always rejecting her #LifeLovingLinkie
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit the same and my cat loves to be patted so never gives up. I think we learn when it's time to move on and when it's time to make a bit of an extra effort.
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