WHEN LIFE BECOMES ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC AGAIN

When you're happy you listen to the music and when you're sad it's all about the lyrics. It's also true that when you're happy you enjoy positive and inspirational blog posts and you don't need to read quite as many self-help ones. #midlife #positivity

MUSIC AND LYRICS

They say that when you're happy you listen to the music and when you're sad it's all about the lyrics. And I think it's also true that when you're going through difficult times you look for articles that help you find your new direction, then when you're happy again you start to enjoy positive and inspirational blog posts and you don't need to read quite as many of the self-help ones.

When you're happy, you enjoy the music. But when you're sad, you understand the lyrics. Frank Ocean #lifequotes

MARC AND ANGEL

For most of last year (and probably the year before that) Marc and Angel were a stable feature on my Facebook feed. Their wise words made a lot of sense as I battled my way through the darker days of working with a very difficult person and my resultant resignation. And I must say that they played a big role in my journey back to being mentally and emotionally healthy.

I shared a lot of quotes from them as I learned how to manage the fallout from leaving my job and moving forward into a new stage of life. Slowly over time I've noticed that I've stopped clicking through the Facebook links to read their articles - I still enjoy the positive motivation from their quotes and snippets (especially during this time of pandemic and self-isolation), but don't feel the need to delve in any deeper. These days my headspace is clear and I don't dwell or reflect on what could have or should have happened from the toxicity that led me to quitting my job.

MOVING FORWARD

Some people find music to be their go-to for healing, for me it's the wisdom of others who've been there, survived, and then offered guideposts for those of us who come behind them. In a way I hope I've been able to do that through some of the posts I wrote as I recovered my resilience and moved forward over the last year or so.

It's strange now to look back at the woman I was when I finally broke away from that messy work environment and the damaged and draining workmate who made my life so difficult. I did a lot of reading on how to push through and survive difficult times, I read and wrote so much advice on how to create boundaries, how to deal with difficult people, how to focus on the positives, and how to move on from an unsolvable problem. That's all wonderful and usually it's enough, but for me and the situation I was in, it wasn't sufficient. I needed to be courageous and walk away from it with nothing in place to move onto - something that was foreign and scary for a person who likes to always have a plan in place.

WHEN YOU DON'T NEED THE ADVICE ANYMORE

I'll be forever grateful to those who lit the path for me with their wisdom and advice. I don't know where I'd be today if I didn't have such ready access to other people's stories and how they went about regaining their resilience. Friends and family can only help us to a point, if they've never walked in our shoes, then they have no idea how to direct us when we're looking for ways to move forward. Being able to do a Google search and find others who've dealt with unexpected job loss, difficult workmates, and so much more was definitely the beginning of my healing process.

Hearing the stories of other bloggers in my Midlife community who'd walked a similar path was also incredibly helpful. To see others who've been blindsided and then picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and begun again was inspirational to say the least. I'm so proud to be able to stand beside them these days and to say - "Yes it can happen to you, and you'll get through it, and come out stronger and better for the experience." It's also a wonderful feeling to let go and trust the journey - to trust that God has me in His hands and I won't fall. To look back and see how far I've come, how happy I am, how content, and how settled in my new way of life, is more than I could have dreamt of this time last year.

Your body heals Your heart heals.  Your mind heals.  Your wounds heal.  Your happiness always has the ability to come back.  Bad times don't last. Keep the faith. #lifequotes

LIFE GOES ON

Life isn't stagnant - the good times don't last forever, but neither do the bad times. We keep putting one foot in front of the other and before we know it, we're in a new place and often it's a better place than where we were before. That applies to leaving a job, getting through a pandemic, and all the other upheavals life tosses our way. I love that I've regained my resilience and my life is about the music again - no sad lyrics, less self-help advice, more laughter, and more "follow me - it's going to be great!"

I also really appreciate how surviving tough times helps us build resilience that in turn, aids us in facing new challenges that life throws at us. Pushing through all the stress and changes that 2019 brought, and creating a new (and slower) lifestyle, has been instrumental in being able to navigate my way through being at home and riding out the changes that coronavirus has brought with it. Life definitely goes on and it always seems to turn around - we just need to be patient and to trust in our ability to bounce back.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Are you doing it tough at the moment being asked to stay home, or do you feel you've come out of a tunnel into the sunshine and a new life that is unexpectedly better than what you had before? I hope you're loving life (despite its hiccups) and appreciating how far you've come. If not, then I'd love you to click on some of the links in this post and hopefully some of my story will help you get to a better place than where you are right now.

RELATED POSTS


When you're happy you listen to the music and when you're sad it's all about the lyrics. It's also true that when you're happy you enjoy positive and inspirational blog posts and you don't need to read quite as many self-help ones. #midlife #positivity
When you're happy you listen to the music and when you're sad it's all about the lyrics. It's also true that when you're happy you enjoy positive and inspirational blog posts and you don't need to read quite as many self-help ones. #midlife #positivity

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One day you'll give someone advice you once needed, and realize that it no longer applies to you. That's when you know you've grown.

34 comments

  1. Hi, Leanne - Once again your post is filled with many gems. I agree that there are times in our lives when we deeply need to seek out specific ideas (like you did with Marc and Angel). And other times, when are need for this significantly lessens. I'm glad that your retirement is going so well for you. Totally deserved! :D

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    1. Hi Donna - I think I'm one of those people who is good at applying the wisdom of others to my own life. There are so many times I've been helped by a well worded article or piece of advice from someone who's walked the same path - and I hope I can pay it forward by writing about my own experiences too.

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  2. You have certainly made it through to the other side Leanne and have lots of experiences and advice to share with others. I'm so pleased that you are feeling more at ease now. It's always interesting to look back at what sustained us through the hard times and to notice how we have moved on in our thinking. I'm feeling OK generally, apart from some hiccups along the way, with some days harder than others - thanks for asking :)

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    1. Hi Deb - you're one of those wonderful bloggers who gave me so much support and direction - having been through a similar journey, I could see that you'd healed and thrived - and that meant I could too. Thanks for your wisdom along the way x

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    2. Oh that's lovely to know Leanne, thanks for all your support too! I'm back for #mlstl and have pinned your post.

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  3. Hi Leanne, First time I have heard this about music and lyrics. Another thing we have in common, is I have been a huge fan of Marc and Angel for many years. I have their book “1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently” on my bedside table. They are also in my fb feed. Good point on “Life isn’t stagnant.” Good and bad. Overall I still count my blessings, yet I have roller coaster moments of ups and downs. The irony in your post, Leanne, is I watched about one half of the “One World” concert this morning. The music was very beautiful, and many sad, poignant lyrics. I came away feeling more sad than when I started listening to it. Take care and thanks for sharing your wisdom. xx

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    1. Hi Erica - Marc and Angel were a godsend for me as I navigated my way back out of the mental exhaustion from my job. They have such positive and sensible advice - and the quotes they share on FB just spoke to me time and again. It's lovely to be out in the sunshine again - still learning, but from a positive mindset instead of trying to climb out of a very deep well.

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  4. thank you for your thoughtful post. I certainly feel a lot less anxious this last couple of weeks. Some days are good and some not so good, but I think I am starting to move forward. And I thank you for a quote I shared from your blog last week, that really made me think. Thank you.

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    1. I definitely relate to this and the toxic environment my last job was - It's strange now to look back at the woman I was when I finally broke away from that messy work environment and the damaged and draining workmate who made my life so difficult.

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    2. Jill I was surprised at how low I'd allowed myself to go in that job. How mentally and emotionally exhausted I was by the time I left - and how much work I had to do on myself to regain my equilibrium. I'm happy that you found my quote worth sharing - the thing I love about quotes is they often sum up a large concept in a few words - succinctly said, but always profound.

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  5. I fluctuate. Day to day we're having a lot of fun and laughs but I miss all the old fun, which I was very busy with. I get stressed about our employees and being able to manage to keep them. THis govt's package is BS and appears to be a way to stop paying Super and change the IR laws. Shame on them. Anyway, I digress. As for music, I've been writing about it as therapy since my Dad was dying and it really helped me through that. I wrote last week with a link to a UK study that showed you only need to listen to happy music for 9 minutes and sad music for 13 minutes (the lyrics you talk about , I guess) to feel better. (https://pandoraandmax.blogspot.com/2020/04/everything-old-is-new-again.html). I don't know what I'd do without music. I'm using it to start my day right when I exercise and it helps a lot.

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    1. I was told by a therapist that anything we do to music is reinforced more deeply in our brain than if we did it without. So when we sing a mantra it's accepted and ingrained more than just saying it. I think music touches our soul - and wise words also touch mine - so meaningful lyrics always stay in my head, and thoughtful quotes and advice also profoundly impact me.

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  6. I've been struggling with missing seeing people lately and I finally had good enough weather to spend 2 hours outside today. It did me a world of good. I need nature to feel alive. I envy those of you who live by the ocean as I'm imagining it's beautiful year round and you don't need warmth to enjoy it. Great post!

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    1. Hi Rita - I think lockdown has been easier here in Australia because our weather is so mild and we have a lot of wide open space. I can't imagine life in a huge bustling city where you're always surrounded by people, or somewhere with weather that makes going outside an ordeal or a challenge. Autumn is just beautiful atm.

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  7. It’s been really lovely to follow you as you make the path from the darkness to light. I’m in a good place at the moment but like you I’ve had many thought processes to get there #MLSTL Sharing

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    1. It's lovely to be able to look back and to see that I've come through and I'm out of the tunnel Jen. I love that life is better than it was back then - so much better than I could have imagined - and I'm proud that's due to the work I put in to get here (and that work rests securely on the foundation of those I respect who've walked a similar path).

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  8. Hi Leanne - I'm pleased that retirement is going so well for you. I do what I enjoy every day and time just flies. Have a wonderful week! #MLSTL

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    1. I think it's going well because the journey to get here was rather fraught Natalie. To now be in a happy place and not under all that duress - well that's very pleasant indeed.

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  9. I haven't heard that before - about you listen to the music when happy and the lyrics when you need them, but thinking about it, it's true. I have playlists for every mood, and one is a happy playlist which I love because it feels happy & not because the lyrics make it so.

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    1. I love upbeat and boppy music when I'm happy Jo - the lyrics are usually fairly simple and it's the beat that counts, but when I'm going thru a difficult time, a song with beautiful lyrics can be a real comfort - as can the wise words of others (and that was certainly the case over the last year or so).

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  10. Thanks for your encouraging words and wisdom, Leanne. I find that listening to music helps me through tough times. It encourages and inspires me to move forward and see all of the good things in my life. I've shared on SM. Take care and stay well, my friend.

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    1. I found the same Candi - I think the lyrics and also pithy words in quotes really speak to my heart when I'm searching for reasons - as do bible verses and other words of wisdom.

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  11. Thank you for sharing your experience with us, Leanne. It is inspirational to see you come through a difficult time and find your peace. I've been through some challenges myself, and I've reached a point where I am much more resilient and have confidence in my ability to weather the next storm. It's always a work in progress, but I believe I am up to the challenge. #MLSTL

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    1. Hi Christie - I totally agree that each challenge we overcome gives us a new tool or two to add to our kit. Also the confidence that "if I can get through that, then I can get through this" mentality. It makes surviving COVID lockdown seem like a walk in the park for me atm.

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  12. So happy for you that you have soldiered through all the doubt and confusion and are now in a happy place marching to the beat of your own drum!

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    1. Thanks Corinne - I feel like I've walked through the fire and come out the other side - a little singed around the edges, but in pretty good shape all in all :)

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  13. With all of your experiences, you are now the light that other people need to get through their hard times.

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    1. I hope so Jennifer - I love the idea that we share the wisdom we gain on our blogs and it's accessible for anyone who is facing the same dilemmas. It was certainly the case for me when I was digging my way out of the pit.

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  14. You're the second person this week who has talked about shifting who (blogs) they read as their life unfolds. I think I switched from retirement transition (setting up new life) to more retirement living (living and growing in the new life) a while back now. I still use many of the tools I learned, but it's more about daily living. Right now, I'm practicing a lot of Living in the Now., and not worrying about the (uncertain) future.

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    1. Hi Pat - maybe there's another book in your future - on how to live well as a retiree? I certainly feel like we all arrived in retirement through different routes, and all navigate it differently, but there's also a commonality underneath it all and I love that we cheer each other on as we figure it all out.

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  15. That was a really interesting read and I certainly can see and remember the progress as you were making it. The good part about being a blogger who share her stories is they become a record of how you are moving through your life. I admit to thinking I was 'through' certain stages./developments I had made in these past few years and then, booom! Something like anxiety related to being 'forced' to change lifestyle thanks to Corona virus meant some of my well-embedded strategies of self-care went out the window. I needed to get 'back to learning more (as I thought I had!) about what I could control and what I couldn't. It was good for me to go back to read and listen to some of my earlier teachers including Tara Brach and Anne Lamott and this is why i now do not think I am "finished"...I remain..a human work in progress. Denyse #MLSTL

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    1. I'm exactly the same Denyse - that's why I keep Marc and Angel in my FB feed - I like that they pop up every day and it reminds me how far I've come, and at the same time I feel like their wisdom is always there for me to refer back to if life starts to get on top of me again.
      I can feel a little bit of anxiety creeping in atm with a couple of things that are outside my control - it's not a pleasant feeling and I'll be glad when I settle back down again and get rid of that "gripey" feeling in my gut! There's always something lurking around the corner to trip us up or to cheer us on isn't there?

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  16. Hi BBB, we are so alike at times. For example, lately I've been feeling that like you, I don't need to click through to find help or inspiration. I'm quite fortunate to be feeling calm and at peace during this time of isolation whilst others unfortunately are feeling anxious. The only down side for me is not being able to physically hug my grandsons but we have been using FaceTime and emailing each other so life isn't too difficult. I've come to terms with many things during this period of social distancing and staying at home. Whilst some are sceptical about people making changes I know that for me this period of reflection has been most welcomed. Thanks for holding the fort at #MLSTL whilst my computer was not being co-operative. xx

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  17. Hi Leanne, I love that you're so happy now. I remember when you were going through the 'dark times' and it's so nice that you've come out the other side and are in a good place now. I'm fine, considering the fact that we're 'stuck' in a flat and a country that we hadn't planned to be in, with no idea of what's around the corner for us! Such an adventure, and a chance to grow and improve. I couldn't do this without my husband by my side, he's vital for my mental health! I hope that life continues to bring you good things. Take care. :-) x

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