I WILL START FILLING MY OWN CUP

I will start Filling my own cup, Being my own muse, Knowing my own worth, Loving my own skin, Validating my own journey, Speaking my own truth, Enjoying my own company, Extending my own energy, Creating my own paradise.

I WILL START FILLING MY OWN CUP

I saw a quote on Pinterest the other day that resonated with how my Midlife journey is playing out. It began with the words "I will start filling my own cup" and from there the list continued and I could feel myself ticking them off one by one. 

So I thought I'd share the quote today and how it looks in my life....

I will start Filling my own cup, Being my own muse, Knowing my own worth, Loving my own skin, Validating my own journey, Speaking my own truth, Enjoying my own company, Extending my own energy, Creating my own paradise.

I WILL START......

FILLING MY OWN CUP

My time is my own, my life is my own, my retirement is my own. How I choose to fill my days is completely up to me. I'm loving being accountable to myself as my first priority after all the years of putting the needs of others in front of my own. It doesn't mean that I'm choosing to be selfish, just that I'm taking responsibility for my own fulfilment and happiness these days.

BEING MY OWN MUSE

This is an interesting one for someone who thought they didn't have any creativity in their soul. I'm finding that Midlife has been a time where I could develop this side of me and enjoy the pleasure it brings to my week. Being my own muse means I let whatever inspires me take me on a journey - whether it's blogging, collaging, neurographica, painting, colouring, calligraphy, or who knows what else....letting my muse run free is so much fun.

KNOWING MY OWN WORTH

I've always looked to others for affirmation (words of affirmation are my No1 Love Language) and that's all great when someone remembers to say something nice, but there have been many times when I've allowed a thoughtless comment to hurt me deeply, or to question my worth or my decisions. Midlife is teaching me that I need to look inward rather than outward and own my own sense of self-worth - not giving it into the hands of others.

LOVING MY OWN SKIN

I think the quote below says it all....

It takes years to be comfortable in your own skin

VALIDATING MY OWN JOURNEY

This is what blogging has meant for me - it's given me a space to share my journey, to work through the tough decisions and the fallout from difficult times. It's brought me a community of people who've supported me and encouraged me - and I'd like to thank those who've cheered me on and shared their own stories of succeeding through the ups and downs of life.

SPEAKING MY OWN TRUTH

I wrote a whole post on what "speaking my truth" means to me - but one thing I'll always come back to is a verse from the bible (Ephesians 4:15) that says "speak the truth in love" - because saying what you mean, and meaning what you say is all well and good....but I always try to remember that what I say shouldn't hurt the heart of another person. If you haven't got something nice to say, and you still need to say it, please be very careful how you're going to say it.

ENJOYING MY OWN COMPANY

Oh this one is such a joy! I love my own company and I love the company of a few special people. I'm so good at being home in my own space and enjoying doing my own thing. I never thought I was an introvert, but there's definitely some of those qualities in me - I describe myself as an Ambivert these days because crowds turn me off and being home is an absolute joy.

EXTENDING MY OWN ENERGY

Last week I wrote a post about the importance of knowing where to invest your energy. It's about priorities and knowing what the best uses of my time and resources are. There's so many things I could say "Yes" to these days, and instead I'm being very careful not to over extend myself or over commit my time. Having the ability to do something doesn't mean that it's the right thing to be doing at the time. Knowing what feels "right" is so important.

CREATING MY OWN PARADISE

Midlife has brought me to a place I love. I love where I live, I love the person I live with, I love how I fill my days, I love that life can be less than perfect at times, but I know that good is always coming. I've slowed down a little bit lately with my hip issues, but that led me to finding a new little job, I have great friends, a lovely extended family, financial security, and so much more - it sounds like paradise to me.

How are you going with the list of positives in the quote? Do any resonate with you?

RELATED POSTS


I will start Filling my own cup, Being my own muse, Knowing my own worth, Loving my own skin, Validating my own journey, Speaking my own truth, Enjoying my own company, Extending my own energy, Creating my own paradise.

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Cresting the Hill - a blog for Midlife (Middle Aged / 50+) women who want to thrive
I will start Filling my own cup, Being my own muse, Knowing my own worth, Loving my own skin, Validating my own journey, Speaking my own truth, Enjoying my own company, Extending my own energy, Creating my own paradise.

I will start Filling my own cup, Being my own muse, Knowing my own worth, Loving my own skin, Validating my own journey, Speaking my own truth, Enjoying my own company, Extending my own energy, Creating my own paradise.
I will start Filling my own cup, Being my own muse, Knowing my own worth, Loving my own skin, Validating my own journey, Speaking my own truth, Enjoying my own company, Extending my own energy, Creating my own paradise.

36 comments

  1. I enjoy all of your posts, Leanne. Your recent posts resonate with me on many levels. Positive words, yet tools to help manage my challenges and reframe my thinking. Goosebumps again reading your quote. …knowing my own worth (to me, this equals boundaries)….extending my own energy (not giving up power to create my day and therefore my life).

    Your creativity shines with your joy and light, Leanne. I love your phrase “…I let whatever inspires me take me on a journey…”

    As you know, one of the Four Agreements talks about ‘speaking with integrity.’ I have not truly wrapped my mind around this concept and you hit the nail on the head…..possibly saying nothing is “speaking with integrity”. I will mull on this one.

    Thank you for sharing your insights, words and paradise with me. It creates a ripple effect and you always make a difference, Leanne. XX ❤️

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    1. Erica, reading your comments always brings me joy and brightens my day. Thank you for your kind words. In regard to speaking the truth, I'm learning that saying nothing is sometimes wiser than hurting another person, or causing friction, or beating my head against a stubborn person's agenda. It all comes back to that magic word "energy" and how I choose to invest it.

      Integrity is a big concept for me - and knowing my values without shoving them at others comes into that too - I just don't want to participate in confrontations in these very unsettled times. I hope all's well with your family and that your little grandson continues to grow even bigger, stronger (and more handsome!) x

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  2. Hi Leanne, I have been reading many blogs these days, but saw yours tonight so I thought I would check in. I love this for you! I remember your frustrations with your old job and wondering what would happen if you left. You have landed in such a positive place! You know who you are and what you want and are not afraid to go after it! I am so happy for you. I also resonate with this post and these ideas speak to me as well.

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    1. Hi Michele - lovely to hear from you :) Yes, I've come a long way in the last few years - from strung out, to getting past it all, to deciding what I really want from life, to adjusting it all, to starting a new little job while I wait for my hip surgery. Life keeps changing - but in a good way.....I hope you're doing well too.

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  3. Hi, Leanne - The nine affirmations that you shared here are perfect. They are all great reminders that we need to put on our own oxygen mask first -- we are worth it!

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    1. Exactly Donna - and knowing that we're responsible for our own happiness and sense of self-worth. Putting it into the hands of others isn't fair on them and often leads to a lot of insecurity and stress. I like being me these days and that's such a nice place to be :)

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  4. No here are some affirmations to live by... Great reminders and I reckon I get 3/9...

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    1. I think you get a lot more Jo - and I always find it interesting that others see so many qualities in us that we can't seem to see in ourselves. You're rocking it my friend! x

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  5. Always good to read what you are up to in terms of learning more about yourself and how life for you can be. Great stuff Leanne!

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    1. Thanks Denyse - I just loved that each of the lines spoke to me in some way - and I could address them all in a positive way - it's been a long journey to get here, but I'm grateful to have arrived (but there's still further to travel!)

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  6. Hi Leanne,
    Glad to come back to your always-inspiring posts, after a relatively long hiatus.
    It's so important hear and listen to our own voices. For this simple reason, it's our life that we are living, and no someone else's
    As usual such a heart-warm post.
    Thank you, and take care.
    Pradeep.

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    1. Hi Pradeep - I missed your comments and blog posts - it was good to read your latest post and thanks for stopping by and commenting here too. And you're right, listening to our own inner voice (and trusting it) is so very important.

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  7. Hi Leanne, I love this very inspiring post about being kind to yourself in midlife! First I wanted to say that you should do all these things before retirement! Then I realised that you're actually not talking about retirement, but rather midlife... and being close to 50, I also consider myself being at midlife. I just recently (in recent years, but too late in my opinion) started working on what is good for ME, not necessarily saying yes and amen to everything. I think the section "Validating your own journey" is what feels most important to me right now. Many people probably think I was stupid to leave a career behind, while some do understand when I explain why. I understand that creating a new career when you're almost 50 is controversial. But nobody else is responsible for my happiness, and at this age it's about time to create a life I'm happy with. So I guess it's time to also learn to feel that the journey I've chosen doesn't have less worth than anyone else's, what other people think doesn't really matter, it's about what will give me the life I want to live. (And honestly, with Covid, if I had stayed with nursing it's possible I wouldn't even be alive at this point!)

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    1. Hi Suzanne - I completely agree that sometimes big decisions we make can seem strange to others but are totally right for us regardless of that. I've come to see that the people whose opinions I worried about weren't really all that important and it was a waste even trying to please them. Those who loved me and wanted the best for me were always happy with what I decided and often wondered why I hadn't done it sooner! (Especially when it came to leaving that awful job behind - and nursing in covid times would be a minefield for you so good choice there as well!)

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  8. I have only found your blogs. It is wonderful that in midlife you are filling your own cup. No matter what age we are sometimes we need the reminder to keep filling our own cup.

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    1. Thanks Noil - yes I think we all need to pause now and then and take responsibility for our own happiness, rather than expecting others to do it for us. Thanks for stopping by.

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  9. Another lovely post! Love the quote I WILL START FILLING MY OWN CUP and LOVING MY OWN SKIN. Your post is reaffirming what I always believed. It feels like I am sitting with you and having a chat. So nice and comforting. A very bright spot in my day. I always look forward to Monday. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Hi Yvonne - I think we'd have a great time chatting over a coffee (or two!) and I think we're both realizing that it's never too late to start valuing what we bring to the table and living life on our own terms. Go us!

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  10. Forgot to mention that I just found a bracelet with the inscription 'LIVE YOUR LIFE' at a thrift store .It was meant to be!

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    1. I love it! I have one that says "not my circus, not my monkeys" that I wore during the difficult times at work - a reminder to stop taking on other people's problems and issues. I've also been buying a few tee shirts lately with fun sayings on them - it's all an energy boost isn't it?

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  11. what a great quote! (Yup I pinned it to my Pinterest!) I like how you're thinking about a muse, and I definitely need to think about that for me as well. My crafting creativity is still very new space for me. I am one who looks for external validation a lot, so the phase on validating my own journey is probably the most impactful one for me. I liked hearing how you thought about each one.

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    1. Hi Pat - these last 10 years have been such a period of growth for me - leaving a lot of preconceived ideas behind and embracing the idea that my life and my happiness are in my hands. I feel a lot more 'empowered' (for want of a better word) in making my choices and taking my own needs into account these days - and if I want to try something creative I'll have a go because......why not?

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  12. Hi Leanne, such great reminders to live life our own way and the quotes. Your insights on each were honest and caring, especially speaking the truth. Just because we feel we can speak the truth we should always consider how it might be taken by the other person as you quite rightly say. My mother's favourite saying was 'if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all', and this sort of fits in with what you're saying. You have certainly used these recent years to reflect and grow - good on you!

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    1. My mum says the same thing your mum does Deb - there's lots of wisdom out there from days gone by. Making someone else feel bad to make yourself feel better is definitely not the goal. There's just so much positivity out there in the world if we look for it - I choose to focus on that these days and let the rest flow around and past me :)

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  13. I totally agree with the wisdom of this post. It is so important to start with ourselves, and not compare us to other people. Thank you for the inspiration.

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    1. Hi Maria - I'm SO over the compare and despair cycle, and these days I'm a great believer in letting other people do their own thing while I get on with what suits me. We're all different and I'm happy to go with the flow and focus on my own journey.

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  14. About a decade ago, I came across the saying "You can't pour from an empty cup" and I think it's the best advice. We have a misconception that it's selfish to invest in our interests and ourselves but it's really what life is about. I am at an age where a lot of my circle's kids are moving out and I think it's becoming highlighted in their lives. For me there is a hole but what's left is still pretty full...good post!

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  15. This is a great reminder Leanne of how we must live our own lives our own way. I feel that is necessary for our mental health, or it is for mine anyway. I love the quote about being comfortable in our own skin. It took me years, but I feel that I'm there now.

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    1. I've been learning so much over the last few years and being comfortable in my own skin has been such a great outcome - it's so nice to not look to others for assurance, and to start trusting my own judgement and being aware of my own worth - life is good....and getting better every day :)

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  16. I love this, Leanne. It's such a pleasure seeing how far you've come on your midlife journey, and I appreciate the lessons you've shared with us along the way. It made me smile when you said you are creating your own paradise and that you acknowledged everything doesn't have to be perfect to feel like paradise. As for me, I'll take the first item on the list: filling my own cup. I do that through self-care, including, meditation, journaling, cultivating gratitude, enjoying nature, physical activity, and sufficient rest. There are other things I do as well to fill my cup, but those are the things that immediately come to mind.

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    1. Hi Christie - I think all those things you shared about how you fill your own cup is why you're such an interesting blogger to follow - and why retirement is going to be such a joy for you. I think those people who can't self-sustain find it really hard to use their time positively and even harder to fill days that aren't regulated for them. I get such joy out of life and I love sharing it on the blog - I think I'm still surprised at times by how much I'm enjoying this second half of life.

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  17. Yes, Yes, Yes to all of this....I need to start thinking more this way. I can totally agree with so many of these (that I've come to this place). I love how you said "speaking your own truth shouldn't hurt the heart of another". I hear so often "well, I just say it like it is..or something similar..but if how you say it wounds someone or is done in a way that doesn't bring something positive than it doesn't matter. Thank you for always sharing such great food for thought.

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    1. Hi Kirstin - I think this quote just summed up so much of what I've learnt in the last decade, and most of it comes back to taking responsibility for my own feelings and my own interactions with other people. As I reduce my expectations, and as I choose forgiveness or just "getting over it" I find that I hold a lot less stress and tension in myself. Hurting someone else's feelings to make a point or prove I'm right, just doesn't do it for me (and don't get me started on people who make jokes at other people's expense - that just makes me really cross!)

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  18. Leanne, Thank you for your weekend coffee share. The nine affirmations are great reminders that we're responsible for our own happiness and self care. When we feel happy and fulfilled, we're at our best form to help others. Natalie

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  19. Hi Leanne,
    It is hard to find a balance between self and community especially when you still have kids at school and needing or wanting to to do things for them. I have been doing a course in Freelance Journalism through the Australian Writers' Centre for the last four weeks and it's making me more resolute to restructure things at home and get the kids to lift their game - especially the one who has left school and isn't working yet. Time to discuss a gear shift.
    I went out for lunch with a friend today and then wandered over to another friend's place but afterwards and that was wonderful. Dinner was rather makeshift but I've been on such a short leash for quite awhile and it was good to get away.
    Hope you have a great week.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

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  20. I think that's great that you are embracing your inner muse! I am working on that too. I would like to think I have a lot of creativity flowing in me but I've been so busy dealing with new motherhood and a new job.

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Thanks so much for your comment - it's where the connection begins.