INTRO
Today on the blog I have a wonderful guest blogger joining me....Denyse Whelan. Denyse and I have been blogging friends for several years; recently she moved her blog over to Substack. She's taking a few week's break, but normally she writes there every week, sharing her journey of recovery from severe burnout and the lessons she's learning along the way.
WHAT DOES BEING MINDFUL MEAN TO ME?
It means:being present (physically, emotionally and mentally) in the moment I am in. And noticing that I am via my body sensations.
That’s it....so very simple really. Being present for me can mean:
- listening to music I love …and not doing anything else.
- walking outside on the grass in bare feet. I have been doing this a LOT lately to ‘ground myself’ aka BRING myself to the present moment using body sensations like touch, vision, hearing and smell.
- taking part in my daily meditation practice via the Calm app. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for 6 years consecutively. Yes I do like to keep to numbers like that.
- HOWEVER….I do not ‘empty my mind’ because…it’s not possible anyway.
- I do, however, need to concentrate on my breath as my anchor..not a particular style but it helps me stay “in the moment”.
- I admit 10 minutes is my attention span limit and with the related writing and reflective activities afterwards I do get good value from my Daily Calm.
BUT WHAT DO I DO WHEN I DON'T LIKE THE PRESENT MOMENT?
Tara Brach’s work here is a fave & Julia Samuel (on
Substack) is amazing. I’ve shared Kristin Neff’s Self Compassion site and quiz
before.
This is the tough one for me
- I stay with whatever the feeling is (reluctantly at times) and….either try a distraction or offer this oldie but goodie to myself (compassionately)
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
- And that helps.
- So does some different breathing techniques like ‘box breathing’ or slow inhale through the nose and longer exhale via the mouth. Many places on line have ideas for these.
- I sometimes tell my dear husband about the ‘issue’ or whatever and sharing via talking helps me.
DOING THE MINDFUL THINGS I LIKE
- Writing - on Substack and in my journals. One journal for gratitude and one about healing. I used handwriting more as it helps my mindfulness too.
- Craft fun. I use textures and stickers and its just for me.
- Photos - taking them…I am very mindful when doing that.
- Singing in the car. Of course I am alone!
- Listening to an engrossing book. Love it when one resonates.
- Art and using good quality markers and brushes making marks, mandalas and intricate patterns is so mindful for me.
- Walking in nature: a post for another time!
- Noticing
new things when I am out and about.
Short and long reads/listens. Katherine May’s book keeps
coming up on Best Book Lists. And Brene Brown on all the emotions..worth it!
STOPPING BEING MINDFUL…
Is to be human.
I sometimes get far too busy with the ‘what ifs’ and more. But I am AWARE now and can usually stop myself. I also allow FAR less time for memory rumination. It gets me nowhere and I can be upset over again.
Grounding on our back lawn. Just looking at the river, noticing the leaf colours and “good old, LOOK UP” for the sky reminder about perspective.
BEING SELF COMPASSIONATE
Yes...I need to be kind(er) to myself at times when I forget my efforts to be more mindful.Sometimes I have to remember…have I eaten anything today? Do I need a drink of water?
I will use some body tapping as in Polyvagal Theory. I find the butterfly hug really good. Here is a link to an example of this from a trauma group.
I also write something to myself at the end of each day about how I was ….and make it as kind as I can.
And when I realise it’s probably a rest I need more than anything to help me ‘back to the now’ I do that without any guilt.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I appreciate you being here. What do you find mindfulness is for you? Thanks for reading and commenting.Denyse.
To find and follow Denyse on Substack just click HERE
BEFORE YOU GO:
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If you'd like to comment but not here on the blog, feel free to email me at
leanne.crestingthehill@gmail.com - I'd love to hear from you.
And please share this post by clicking on a share button before you go.
Leanne, this is such a lovely post! Lots of things to ponder on. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda - Denyse has has a long journey with a lot of lessons along the way - I really appreciated her allowing me to share some of her wisdom here today. :)
DeleteThank you Linda
DeleteAh Leanne, I loved seeing this post here! Thanks for sharing AND caring! I’m doing well remaining as mindful as I can..and as I sometimes add being ‘KIND to my MIND’ helps. Warmest wishes and appreciation for our friendship on line! Been a long time and it’s much valued! Denyse x
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I loved the idea of "mind" and "kind" going together - kindness to others and to ourselves - being mindful of how that plays out. It was lovely to have a guest here again and to share your wise thoughts. x
DeleteHi Leanne - We all, whether young or old, need to be mindful, of the present and now. And this post gives a lot of pointers in that direction. Personally, I engage in activities that I enjoy - reading, writing, going for a walk, doing my French lessons, doing puzzles and word games, listening to the radio (news or music), watching live sports on the television, doing household chores like cleaning vessels and doing the laundry, talking to my friends on the phone, etc. ... Finally, there isn't enough time for everything.
ReplyDeleteHi Pradeep - I sometimes wonder how we ever found time to work! Retirement seems to fill the days with all these little delights and as we appreciate them, we sink softly into a whole new phase of living - I just enjoy it so much too.
DeleteYou have a great deal happening in your life Pradeep!
DeleteHi Leanne, it's lovely to see you sharing Denyse's post, she always has so much to offer in her thinking, ideas and words. We can all learn a lot from Denyse about how she uses various ways to keep learning and being mindful. A great post that has something for everyone.
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I think those of us who have followed Denyse's journey over the last five years or more know what she's dealt with and the toll it's taken on her. I'm so enjoying seeing her take back her happiness and how she's carefully and mindfully curating a new resilience - she inspires me so much. :)
DeleteThank you kindly Deb!
DeleteHi Leanne, thank you for sharing this interesting post from Denyse. It’s given me even more to explore in my own mindful year. Have a great week! Chrissie x
ReplyDeleteHi Chrissie - I really appreciated seeing how Denyse is tackling her recovery using mindfulness and presence. Her suggestions and tips were all so practical and made a lot of sense - and the resources she shared were helpful too.
DeleteHello Leanne -
ReplyDeleteHi Yvonne - I hope you'll be back with a comment to share for Denyse when you have the time - your thoughts are always appreciated. x
DeleteLeanne, thanks for sharing this post from Denyse. She offers sound advice and lots of good practices. Walking in the grass to feel grounded sounds pleasant. It reminds me of walking barefoot at the beach. Mindfulness to me means not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Easier said than done, but with a concentrated effort to stay in the present moment, we can build contentment - day by day.
ReplyDeleteHi - mindfulness for me is definitely staying focused on the "now" and consciously curating what I allow into my world, and how I'm responding to what's going on around me. We can't change a lot of the big picture, but we can mindfully respond to it in a way that nurtures our hearts and souls. I think that's what Denyse is aiming for in her daily practices too.
DeleteThank you
DeleteHow lovely that both of you are reflecting on what being mindful means. Denyse has linked to so many good resources here. Thanks for sharing both of you.
ReplyDeleteHi Corinne - I'm always interested to see what others are doing to maintain contentment and peace in their lives. I have no interest in striving or competing, so choosing different practices to keep me focused on the present and all I have to be grateful for is such a help - Denyse is very proactive in that regard.
DeleteThank you Corrine
DeleteA wonderful reminder of all the little ways we can bring mindfulness into our every day lives. And yes, reminders about this are so helpful.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing a resilience group discussion and next week we are going to talk about mindfulness, so this was very timely. This week's chat (tomorrow) is about conscious thinking, and shifting the thoughts we have. That is something I'm working on as well!
Good to know Pat!
DeleteHi Pat - isn't it interesting how life brings along lots of little pieces of interest that work together to steer us in a positive direction. I'm so glad Denyse's post is useful for your next discussion - and I definitely like the idea of consciously shifting our thinking - it's good to know that we can shape our response to the situations we're in.
DeleteThis is beautiful, Denyse. Thanks for sharing it here, Leanne. I'm always reminding myself to be more mindful and present in the moment, so I appreciate the tips.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - I loved all the tips Denyse gave - and the resources, something I hadn't dug down into before and really good ways to create mindfulness when we need a nudge in the right direction.
DeleteWhat a thoughtful post, Denyse and Leanne. So many great tips and reminders. I forget to listen to music. It can really make me mindful as I try to focus on the lyrics and often dance, too!! When I am in the gym, I try to listen to audio books but thinking maybe I need to listen to music instead. Also like the idea of 'grounding' by standing in the grass barefoot. That feels so good!! We are going into spring so I will be able to do this again soon. I just read that a 10-30 minute daily nap is so restorative. My mom did that all of her adult life and lived forever. Going to try to incorporate that into my day starting this coming week. Thank you, both, for this very relevant post.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie - how lovely to see you taking positive and proactive steps to mindfully curate a more calm and centered life. I listen to podcasts when I'm doing something that doesn't need concentration (colouring or jigsaws) and music when I'm focusing more (collaging) I find that these days my brain can only manage one or two things at a time!
Delete