INTRO
Today on the blog I have a wonderful guest blogger joining me....Denyse Whelan. Denyse and I have been blogging friends for several years; recently she moved her blog over to Substack. She's taking a few week's break, but normally she writes there every week, sharing her journey of recovery from severe burnout and the lessons she's learning along the way.
WHAT DOES BEING MINDFUL MEAN TO ME?
It means:being present (physically, emotionally and mentally) in the moment I am in. And noticing that I am via my body sensations.
That’s it....so very simple really. Being present for me can mean:
- listening to music I love …and not doing anything else.
- walking outside on the grass in bare feet. I have been doing this a LOT lately to ‘ground myself’ aka BRING myself to the present moment using body sensations like touch, vision, hearing and smell.
- taking part in my daily meditation practice via the Calm app. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for 6 years consecutively. Yes I do like to keep to numbers like that.
- HOWEVER….I do not ‘empty my mind’ because…it’s not possible anyway.
- I do, however, need to concentrate on my breath as my anchor..not a particular style but it helps me stay “in the moment”.
- I admit 10 minutes is my attention span limit and with the related writing and reflective activities afterwards I do get good value from my Daily Calm.
BUT WHAT DO I DO WHEN I DON'T LIKE THE PRESENT MOMENT?
Tara Brach’s work here is a fave & Julia Samuel (on
Substack) is amazing. I’ve shared Kristin Neff’s Self Compassion site and quiz
before.
This is the tough one for me
- I stay with whatever the feeling is (reluctantly at times) and….either try a distraction or offer this oldie but goodie to myself (compassionately)
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
- And that helps.
- So does some different breathing techniques like ‘box breathing’ or slow inhale through the nose and longer exhale via the mouth. Many places on line have ideas for these.
- I sometimes tell my dear husband about the ‘issue’ or whatever and sharing via talking helps me.
DOING THE MINDFUL THINGS I LIKE
- Writing - on Substack and in my journals. One journal for gratitude and one about healing. I used handwriting more as it helps my mindfulness too.
- Craft fun. I use textures and stickers and its just for me.
- Photos - taking them…I am very mindful when doing that.
- Singing in the car. Of course I am alone!
- Listening to an engrossing book. Love it when one resonates.
- Art and using good quality markers and brushes making marks, mandalas and intricate patterns is so mindful for me.
- Walking in nature: a post for another time!
- Noticing
new things when I am out and about.
Short and long reads/listens. Katherine May’s book keeps
coming up on Best Book Lists. And Brene Brown on all the emotions..worth it!
STOPPING BEING MINDFUL…
Is to be human.
I sometimes get far too busy with the ‘what ifs’ and more. But I am AWARE now and can usually stop myself. I also allow FAR less time for memory rumination. It gets me nowhere and I can be upset over again.
Grounding on our back lawn. Just looking at the river, noticing the leaf colours and “good old, LOOK UP” for the sky reminder about perspective.
BEING SELF COMPASSIONATE
Yes...I need to be kind(er) to myself at times when I forget my efforts to be more mindful.Sometimes I have to remember…have I eaten anything today? Do I need a drink of water?
I will use some body tapping as in Polyvagal Theory. I find the butterfly hug really good. Here is a link to an example of this from a trauma group.
I also write something to myself at the end of each day about how I was ….and make it as kind as I can.
And when I realise it’s probably a rest I need more than anything to help me ‘back to the now’ I do that without any guilt.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I appreciate you being here. What do you find mindfulness is for you? Thanks for reading and commenting.Denyse.
To find and follow Denyse on Substack just click HERE
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Leanne, this is such a lovely post! Lots of things to ponder on. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda - Denyse has has a long journey with a lot of lessons along the way - I really appreciated her allowing me to share some of her wisdom here today. :)
DeleteAh Leanne, I loved seeing this post here! Thanks for sharing AND caring! I’m doing well remaining as mindful as I can..and as I sometimes add being ‘KIND to my MIND’ helps. Warmest wishes and appreciation for our friendship on line! Been a long time and it’s much valued! Denyse x
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I loved the idea of "mind" and "kind" going together - kindness to others and to ourselves - being mindful of how that plays out. It was lovely to have a guest here again and to share your wise thoughts. x
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