WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE AS YOU GET OLDER?

We don't become happy souls or, alternatively, grumpy old people overnight, and we don't become wise and caring without putting in the work.

WHO DO WE WANT TO BE AS WE AGE?

I remember reading an article from John Mark Comer that discussed the idea that who we become in our old age is being determined by what we've focused our lives on in the lead-up. He says...

What you give your attention to is the person you become. Put another way: the mind is the portal to the soul, and what you fill your mind with will shape the trajectory of your character. In the end, your life is no more than the sum of what you gave your attention to.

We don't become happy souls or, alternatively, grumpy old people overnight, and we don't become wise and caring without putting in the work. Getting older can feel tricky at times when our body starts to slow a little, or lets us down occasionally. We can focus on what we're losing.... or we can turn our attention to all that we still have and enjoy the final third of our lives based on all the good that we've created and that's still to be found...

MY MUM THE ROLE MODEL

My mum is in her mid-80's and always makes me smile. I can see her struggling with some of the physical limitations that are creeping in - she doesn't walk as easily as she used to, and her mobility is certainly not what it once was. But....she rarely focuses on that, instead she's on her mobility scooter, or using a walking stick and she's out and about sharing her wit with whoever happens to be in her near vicinity.

She's a regular at the Senior Citizens' Monday coffee and chat group, she's a Red Hatter, and she's always up for a coffee and a chat - or better yet, something to eat and a chat! She reminds me that getting old isn't a choice, but we do get to choose our attitude, and being positive and upbeat just naturally draws others to you and keeps you young at heart.

ALWAYS BE READY WITH A SMILE

Each morning I walk around our neighbourhood - it's my time to be out in the fresh air, I leave my phone at home and I give myself the time and space to be present and to appreciate where I live and to interact whenever the opportunity arises. I see school kids, many with their heads down looking at their phones, and/or with earbuds in - they're disengaged and oblivious, but there are still some who are happy to make eye contact and return a smile.

Then there are the dog walkers, and how lovely it is to be greeted effusively by someone else's fur child. I get to have a pat and a brief chat, to share news and to be neighbourly. There's the cars that drive by that I smile at, the joggers, and my fellow walkers - and I smile at them all. I want to be known as the happy, smiley lady who walks each day. I love it when someone sees me at the supermarket and recognizes me because I walk by their house.

POSITIVITY AND BEING A CHEERLEADER

When it comes to family I never want to be the one who criticizes or who offers unwanted advice. Our children are grown and have families of their own - they don't need a judgemental critic, they need someone they can share their wins and losses with and know that there'll be support and celebration. I want to be my kids' cheerleader - the happy person who they know will always be proud of how well they're doing with their lives.

I see so many older people who have become sour and whose adult children avoid them, or those who are always handing out money or help to try to win love. We shouldn't have to earn the love that comes our way, it should be a natural part of the dynamic of our family because we've invested time and love in over all the years before, so it's just a part of what life looks like now we're older. To be able to share our children's lives without being embroiled in them is such a joy.

SHINE BRIGHT

So, who do I want to be as I grow older? I want to be someone who shines a light - who's bright and positive and happy in themselves. I want to share my life with other like-minded souls, and to keep growing in my understanding of what life is all about. I don't ever want to reach the point where I think I know it all - or where I think I have the answer to everyone else's problems - that just leads to frustration and disappointment. Instead, I want to be a learner, a sharer, to grow in gratitude, being kinder, being more generous, being more discerning, and most of all, to be more loving - because love is the root of it all isn't it?

I read a quote that said:

Some people are like human medicine,
you spend an hour with them and everything feels better.

I want to be human medicine - to leave others feeling better from having spent time with me - not feeling judged, or annoyed, or disregarded - just feeling loved and seen.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Who do you want to be as you approach old age? Do you see yourself as a happy old person, or do you want to lean into being a grumpy old man or woman who is freely speaking their mind whether others want to hear it or not? I hope you'll choose the former, and getting there starts right now.

My Mum Tells Her Story
You Get To Choose Your Attitude
Holding On Loosely
Finding Community In Midlife
Love Is The Root Of It All

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