WHAT MAKES A LIFE "BORING"?
I've been watching other people's lives on Facebook recently and they're all so busy doing stuff. They're off travelling the country, or travelling the world, or attending events, working hard at careers, or living large in general. Me.....not so much. I'm just here at home living my small life and wondering if I should be wanting more? Is my life boring if I don't feel bored?
ONE PERSON'S BORING IS ANOTHER PERSON'S PEACE
As I was pondering all this, I came across a fantastic article on No Sidebar that asked the question "What if I just want to stay home?" it was beautifully written from the heart, and it resonated deeply. In the article Joshua Becker asks a lot of "what if?" questions that sum up exactly how I feel these days....
- What if I just want to stay home?
- What if I don't buy a thing, and don't go anywhere, and don't cross a single impressive item off a list?
- What if I don’t want the packed itinerary?
- What if I’ve stopped needing the weekend to be something worth posting about?
- What if I find more joy in a home-cooked meal than a restaurant?
And....
What if I am genuinely, unperformatively happy?
Not settling. Not making peace with less. Not telling myself a story to feel better about staying put. But actually, honestly, deeply content—right here, in this ordinary life, with these ordinary days that ask nothing of me except to show up and pay attention.
A BORING RETIREMENT
My retirement came ten years earlier than I expected it to. I thought I'd be nose to the grindstone until I was in my late 60's, and instead of that I, I found myself free and clear in my late 50's. What a joy to be out of the cage of the paid workforce and to be able to do anything I like whenever and wherever I like. The world is my oyster....but rather than doing more and more with all this freedom, I've found that I'm just happy leading my quiet, boring, every-day life.
One of the biggest discoveries I've made is that a small life seems constrictive if you are living it because you have no other choices available. I've lived like that for many years - pinching the pennies, being careful, living on a tight budget. That's not my life anymore, I have the freedom to do pretty much whatever I like....and I've found that what I like is right on my doorstep. I like living a pleasant life that feels full, but not overwhelming. I like leading a life where I feel content, and one that I know I can change if I want to, but until that day comes I'm happy with being boring.
COMPARE AND COMPETE
Once again, it comes back to not comparing my life to the highlight reels that others share. I do what I want to do and let them do what they're doing. I can follow along on their adventures without feeling the pull to be doing those things too. I love living stress-free, I love having short term plans and no big pressures in my life. I don't want to uproot myself or push my boundaries right now.....maybe down the track, but not now.
Reading that article reminded me that there are a lot of other people out there who are content living their small lives too, they enjoy being home, they enjoy their little daily routines, their home-cooked meals, their cups of coffe, their partners, their pets, their friends, their gardens, their neighbourhoods. The don't need to be doing more to be happy...
And you know what? Neither do I.
At this point in my life, I don’t want to give advice, to be useful, to be needed, to feel I need to earn anything; I don’t need a purpose, a routine, a structure, a role, a project. I don’t want to be productive, to achieve, to attain, to be visible, to be admired, to inspire. I don’t want to hold court, to work the room, to be the centre of attention.
And you know what? Neither do I.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you boring or are you bustling and living life on a grander scale? Do you find yourself wishing for more, or wondering if you should be wishing for more? Is a "boring" life a good life if we're content?
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As far as I'm concerned, something is only boring if you're bored. If you're content, it isn't boring. The most bored I've been was when I was in the corporate gig juggling a million and one things and stressed to the max. But, I was bored. All. The. Time. Now, I'm busy, but never bored. We've cut back the outings and I cook more creatively at home, but I'm not bored. I look forward to Sunday afternoons with nothing on, but I'm not bored.
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