.png "Amor Fati is used to describe a concept or attitude where one accepts and embraces all of life's experiences - including suffering and loss - as necessary and good.")
MEANINGFUL AND MINDFUL WORDS
As part of my exploration of my Word of the Year "Mindful" I've come across a few terms recently that have caught my eye. They're words that have depth and meaning to them, and they carry a little "something" that I'd like to incorporate into my own life. I've chosen five to explore further over March - which is going to be my month of meaningful, mindful reflection.
The second of these words that drew my interest is a latin term "Amor Fati" - another term I'd never heard before, that resonated and gave me a perspective on how life has been for me over the last few years....
WHAT DOES AMOR FATI MEAN?
Amor fati (noun phrase/noun)is a Latin phrase translating to "love of fate" or "love of one's fate"
Amor Fati is used to describe a concept or attitude where one accepts and embraces all of life's experiences - including suffering and loss - as necessary and good. It is rooted in Stoic philosophy, and involves accepting all life's events as opportunities for growth and resilience rather than expecting a perfect life that is often far from reality.
When things don't go to plan, we can spend our time wishing they were different, or fall into self-pity and ask "why me?", or we can look for the lessons, choose to work our way through, and grow from the battles we fight, and the wins and losses along the way.
CHOOSING ACCEPTANCE OVER CONTROL
This form of acceptance of both the good and the bad in life is not about passively surrendering to everything around us. It’s more about recognising that there are limits to what we can control, learning to accept what we can’t, and focusing on what we can. We can't control everything, but we can choose how we respond to it.
It reduces our anxiety and sense of unfairness if we accept that there will always be both good and bad throughout our lives, and it's up to us how we respond to those events. We don't passively accept everything, rather we actively choose to use what comes our way to grow and mature our worldview.
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Epictetus
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor Frankl
Our character is determined not by our circumstances but by our reaction to those circumstances.
Charles W. Colson
HOW TO PRACTICE AMOR FATI
1. Reframe Resistance: When facing, or experiencing, a difficult situation, rather than trying to escape it, or resenting that it's happening, ask how it can be used for growth.2. Stop "What If's": Release the desire for a different past or future and embrace the present moment. Stop looking to control every outcome and allow life to happen as it has, while seeking to respond with insight and clarity.
3. Find the Lesson: Actively seek the "silver lining" or the lesson in every, even negative, experience. There will always be less than great events in our lives, disappointments, and unfair outcomes - how are you going to respond next time one happens?
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Have you found a greater acceptance of life's ups and downs as you've gotten "older and wiser"? Do you see the potential for growth and developing resistance when life throws up challenges?
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Leanne, this is one of the hardest life lessons of all - choosing acceptance over control. I have always thought of that as surrender, but as I age, I understand that it's akin to 'pick your battles.' Slow down, think, and find the lesson within. We harbored bitterness longer than we should have this past year (the house sale that fell through), but we are more open to letting life unfold. The silver lining, if there is one, is that we didn't rush into a new home purchase and potentially make a big mistake. Time will tell.
ReplyDeleteI've been the same way Suzanne - I'm finally slowing my responses and trying to be a little more considered about the outcomes. I've always been quick to defend myself and those I love, quick to find all the negatives, and quick to compare. Now I'm learning to pause and to accept that not everything is going to be the way I want it to be, but that it can still be good in the end.... and to make the most of the journey in-between. I do hope the house stuff resolves well this year - I'm sure it will, but the waiting can be hard.
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