ARE YOU A GOOD PERSON?
A friend of mine told me that the minister of their church began his sermon with the question "Does anyone here think they're a good person?" and she was the only one who put her hand up. That opened up so many thoughts during our conversation, starting with why he asked that particular question and then rolling into what it means to be a good person.
I thought I'd share some of my thoughts about it all here - because why not?
ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION
I think this minister was trying to direct everyone towards the idea that we don't earn our way to heaven by being as perfect as possible, and that being good isn't a free ticket to Paradise. But....I think he threw the baby out with the bathwater because wanting to be a good person and to lead a good life shouldn't be about that free ticket, it should be about aiming to become the best version of ourselves.
From a Christian viewpoint, the aim is to love God and to love others - doesn't that encompass being a good person? You can't be loving if you're being awful. From a general viewpoint, I'd like to think that my fellow human beings are all doing their best to live good lives and to be good citizens of this world we live in.
WHAT DOES BEING GOOD LOOK LIKE?
When I'm thinking about the type of person I'd like to become, I tend to come back to the Fruit of the Spirit for a list of character traits to aspire to:
These are setting the bar pretty high, but I like having something to aim for as I do my best to find the version of me that fits my beliefs and values. And, (surprise, surprise) goodness features in the list along with love, and joy, and peace, and kindness. How lovely would our world be if everyone aimed to practice these? Being that kind of person isn't about proving we're fit for a heavenly reward, it's about being the people we were created to be.
LIVING A GOOD LIFE
You can't live a good life if you're not a good person - you can live a selfish life, or a showy life, or a miserable life....but a life lived well needs to be based on how we show up day to day - personally and in the community we're part of. A good life doesn't necessarily mean a big, enviable, fast-paced, out-there existence, it can be a meaningful life full of small, simple joys that reflect good choices and a contentment with what we have.
The idea of a "good" life might vary from person to person, but ultimately it comes back to living life well, knowing you're doing your best to show up and invest in yourself and others. When the end of life comes, I'd like to think that the legacy I leave behind is one where my family and friends thought I was a good person who lived and loved well. So, I'd have been putting my hand up in that church service, alongside my friend, to say that I think I'm a good person too - or at least I'm a person doing my best to be good - not to earn my ticket to heaven, but to be a productive, kind, thoughtful, loving participant in this good world God has given us.
Years from now, people probably won't remember the clothes you wore, or how perfect your life looked online. But they will remember how your presence made them feel, the encouragement you gave, and the kindness you showed when there was nothing to gain.
Vex King
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Would you have put your hand up to say you were a good person? Is being "good" something to aspire to, or is it a relic of the past? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts in the comments.
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Hi Leanne, the questioner and the question were very provocative in a few ways! Captive audience and all that. Ha. So only we can answer the question for ourselves ideally but of course most of us humans want someone else to agree with us! One to think about! Denyse x
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I think good people tend to not want to claim the quality in case they sound like they're assuming they're better than others. I think being a good person is something to aspire to - if everyone did, then the world would be a kinder place.
DeleteI wouldn't have raised my hand because I would have suspected it was a "gotcha" question, lol. If the question had been do I, as a Christian, STRIVE to be a good person/do good in the world, I would have raised it. Goodness isn't a relic of the past, and I believe people across many faith traditions prioritize goodness in their own lives, and for other people and the world.
ReplyDeleteYou're right Laura - he was definitely aiming to provoke thought, but my friend and I both thought it was a bit sad that so many good people (and there are a lot of good people in her church and in the world at large) feel constrained when it comes to claiming that quality. It should be something we all feel like we're becoming as we grow in maturity - good people make for a good world to live in.
DeleteLeanne, Two things came to mind when I read the original question. The opposite question would be,' Do you think you are a bad person?" And I don't think even bad people think they are bad! I believe very few people are intentionally malicious. Unintentionally malicious... well, lots of people fit that camp! And I sometimes do as well... when I make judgments, assume the worst of someone, spread gossip. But like you, I believe i strive to be a good person.
ReplyDeleteThe second thing that came to mind was the idea of being a "good girl" and all the impacts that has on my life. The need to accommodate, to people please, to avoid conflict, to being "perfect."..I've strived to be the good girl my whole life and some days I really, really do want to "be bad"! Not bad as in hurt other people or go to jail. Just a bit naughty, a bit self-indulgent. Does that make me a bad person?
When I continued reading, I also thought about how the two terms "THE" good life and "A" good life.have different meaning as well! I think living A good life.encompasses all those positive terms you laid out. And ones I personally strive for.
Thought provoking post!
Pat
Hi Pat - I liked your take on that because I too have struggled with the "good girl" expectations and being a "good Christian woman" has even more of them attached! But on the other hand I really like the idea of growing into a good person, living a good life, and doing their part to make this a good world. If we don't want evil to prevail, we need to step up and claim the goodness inside us and to share that with others - I think kindness tends to bring joy and goodwill, and kindness often springs from those who have really good hearts and good intentions. So I'm waving the flag for good people - but also reminding myself that it needs to be an outflowing from a centered and kind heart - not performative. :) x
DeleteHi Leanne, I like to think of myself as a good person, I certainly try my best to be one. Occasionally though I do get annoyed with things, not people unless they’re being inconsiderate. Interesting question! Chrissie x
ReplyDeleteHi Chrissie - you can put your hand up with my friend (and me) because I think those of us who are doing our best to be good people need to acknowledge it and take heart that we're doing it for the right reasons and because we care. I think there's a lot more of us, and they were just too modest to put up their hands. :)
DeleteAn interesting question...with interesting answers...Leanne. I think the challenge is that sometimes we think we have to be "good" all the time to be a good person. It's like if you ask me if I'm an honest person, I would say yes. If you ask me if I am always honest, I'd have to think a little harder. Have I ever told a lie or withheld a truth...of course, I have. I agree that we should have high ideals to strive for, and also that we should have grace with ourselves and others when we fall short, as we are sure to do.
ReplyDeleteI love that thought Christie - I do think we can be harder on ourselves than we need to be - and expecting that we'll always be "good" etc without allowing ourselves some grace when we fail - and then aiming to do better next time - would make it a miserable way to live, rather than inspiring us to be our best selves. This is why I love the comments section on blogs - you get so many new insights. x
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