WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE ENOUGH?
Have you noticed that having enough doesn't feel like it's enough anymore? We all have so much already, but there's always an itch to upgrade, or to replace, or to try the latest model. We're surrounded by people who have more than us - either in real life, or online. There's always something new and shiny competing for our attention.
I often wonder what it would look like if everyone was content with what they already have and decided it was more than enough?
ARE WE DROWNING IN EXCESS?
The online algorithms are always pushing the need for "more" because promoting excess means more dollars in their creators' pockets. If people stopped buying all that is being spruiked, those dollars would dry up. Saying "no" feels counter-cultural these days because there's always something new and exciting to spend our money on....if you don't know what it is, the scrolling gods will soon show you!
A new phone - well my current one is only a couple of years old...but the new model is so pretty. A new TV - well my current one works fine... but it doesn't have all the latest smart features and resolution... A new outfit - well my current wardrobe is stuffed full...but I'm sure I need something new to make me feel good. A new car - my current one's fine and the new ones are pretty expensive...but I could always sign up and lease one. And so it goes on - enough doesn't feel satisfying when there's so much on offer.
WHAT DOES ENOUGH LOOK LIKE?
In a world that is always screaming "look at this! Buy this! How cool is this?!" can we decided for ourselves anymore what having enough really looks like? As I wrestle with our consumer culture, I'm finding my version of "enough" looks like this:
- Moderation
- Calm
- Peace
- Contentment
- Appreciating the ordinary
- Having less stuff
- Enjoying what I already have
- Investing in deeper connections
- Not competing
- Not comparing
- Curating my online feed
PEACE IN A NOISY WORLD
Having so much available at the click of a button makes it so easy to buy first and think later. When Amazon can have it on my doorstep less than 24 hours later, when companies offer mid-year, end of year, Black Friday, Easter, first time purchase, spin the wheel... discounts, when every site I open has an interesting ad to tempt me - well, that just makes me more determined these days to be very sure before I click the "go to site" or "buy now" options.
Often when I wait a little I can find a better place to buy from, or I can find a better price, or I can decide I don't really need it after all. The push for an instant sale is where the noise and pressure come from, and when I slow down a little, when I ask why I'm tempted to want the new shiny temptation calling to me, that's when my logical adult brain kicks in and tones down the dopamine hit, and replaces it with something a little more considered and sane.
I find that this works for so many other areas of my life too - slow down, breathe, think, consider, and then make a choice based on what feels like a good fit - not too much, not too little....just enough.
THE ENOUGH THEORY
I found this lovely theory online as I was pondering what "enough" means and thought I'd share it:
A calm life is enough.A small circle is enough.A heart that loves is enough.The world will always push for more;more noise, more people, more chaos.But enough is not about quantity,it's about quality.Peace doesn't come from excess,it comes from choosing what truly matters.And when you realize that less is enough,you finally have more than you ever needed.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you notice that there's a strong push to want to add more and more into your life? I hope you can find your sweet spot for what "enough" looks like and hold that line despite what the algorithms want you to believe.
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I'm very big on the notion of not buying ... stuff... especially clothes. Especially after working for a few years at the op shop. The amount of garments unworn in closets its incredible.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way Jo - I look at what is given away or thrown away and it makes me feel a little bit sick. Pausing long enough to decide if we really need it or have a good use for it makes so much more sense to me.
DeleteI've been an 'achiever' by nature. An A type personality. Leader and organiser....and NOW what my past years around trauma & my emotional exhaustion have taught me (or at least I am DOING better at accepting it) is that "enough" feels manageable and more comfortable at 76. But...I hasten to add, I can be very critical of myself at times too...so I am learning to be: self compassionate enough, kind enough and things are starting to come together emotionally for me.
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I think in our younger days we needed to be more driven and results oriented. Now in retirement we're allowed to give ourselves the grace of moderation - to know when we have enough, when we need more, and when we need less. When we find that balance it feels calmer and more 'true' - less about what others are doing, and more about what works for us in the season we find ourselves in.
DeleteI'm squarely in the camp of "good enough." In fact, it's often my response to, "How are you?" I've worn the same outfit to the last 5 "events" I attended. What to wear does not create a personal quandry. Picturing mountains of clothing being burned overseas puts a damper on clothes purchases. How many times do you see the latest appliance at the garage sales or recycle stores? At a recent social gathering, attendees were going on about an app that identifies overhead planes, their destinations, even passenger count And some downloaded said app right there & then. For what purpose? My son has a saying - Go to work to make money to buy [crap] you don't need. Enough to me means contentment, enjoyment, peace of mind, financial stability, fewer distractions. I am enough.
ReplyDeleteHi Mona - I'm exactly the same. I feel like my wardrobe contains more clothes than I need already, so I'm not even tempted to go to thrift shops these days. If I buy something new it's to replace something that's worn out. The videos I've seen of clothing being sent overseas to end up as a huge pollution problem just staggers me.
DeleteAn occasional treat is lovely, constant consumerism steals my peace these days.
A very good point you have made in this post, Leanne. I also believe that our craze for more and more of everything is what brings all the trouble. For peace and good health, we must learn to draw the line and say enough.
ReplyDeleteThanks Pradeep - I think the overconsumerism we see here is rampant all over the world - if people have some money in their pocket or a credit card then they can't seem to resist the urge to buy new shiny things. I saw a little clip on wealth creation the other day and the first thing was to get out of debt - and that doesn't happen if we're constantly spending on stuff we don't really need.
DeleteIt's a struggle in my household. I'm trying to minimize what we repurchase and even talk about downsizing more as we unpack what we've salvaged and not used for 2 years! Our kitchen is smaller, so less storage for stuff. I want to get rid of clothes I'll never wear again, things I'll never use.
ReplyDeleteBut hubby is not in the same camp. He's still working through the childhood trauma where he never had things of his own and never had new as it always was hand-me downs. He will buy the latest and greatest, even if he has a fully functioning item. Will buy a "back up." And yes, sales get him as well.
So the "have enough" can become an argument. I try to not let it become one, accepting he needs this for his contentment at this point of life. He doesn't go into debt on anything, so I try and view it as his "retirement indulgence."
Hi Pat - sometimes we have to make allowances for other people's needs. My husband spends more than I do and I figure we can afford his small indulgences these days - he was onboard with being frugal when we really needed to be, so I guess I can ease up on his "treats" now they don't impact our bank balance.
DeleteI also think that being thoughtful about my own purchases makes my life simpler and clearer, so that creates some balance. There needs to be a sweet spot in between scarcity and overindulgence doesn't there?
I like to buy things that make our home ours, cosy and homely, which can involve buying things from time to time, but I do try to wait until things need replacing nowadays. I’ve always loved interior design so it’s not always easy. On the whole though I don’t have lots of stuff like clothes I never wear, or more than one of anything in my make up bag. I’m very good at declutterring regularly as things still have a habit of adding up. Perhaps I need to try harder on this one :) Chrissie x
ReplyDeleteHi Chrissie - I don't think any of us want to live in stark minimalism - we all need to feel that our homes are warm and inviting, and I also think the occasional purchase gives us a nice little dopamine hit in the purchasing, receiving, and using. For me the balance becomes "do I really need this? Or am I just getting sucked in by the algorithms?" Often pausing, tucking it away for later, and then re-visiting it will make me realize that I never really needed it in the first place - and if it still appeals....then maybe it's time for a small purchase to add into my home.
DeleteRecently I learned a lesson about having enough. I eagerly signed up for another program which I thought I needed. There was a 30 day guarantee. When I realized I had enough programs I found that I had missed the guarantee date and had to pay for something I I did not need.. A lesson learned.!!
ReplyDeleteThey're so sneaky with those sign-up things Judith - it's easy to get caught out and to pay for something that we didn't really need in the first place. I'm completely in favour of stretching ourselves and purchasing things that we need, but when they end up being more of a burden than a joy, it makes me very wary the next time an offer comes along. :)
DeleteLeanne,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for taking the time to stop by!! Yes, I am enjoying a quiet , peaceful life and so happy to be retired!!
Hugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
Hi Debbie - yes, retirement really is the gift that keeps on giving isn't it? And it's amazing how much we can enjoy without going into excess. x
DeleteI grew up in a household where money was always a worry and there was a feeling of scarcity, so I know there are times that I react to that by buying something a bit indulgent to remind myself that I can. But I do like the idea of waiting a bit to see if I still want that item after the initial sales pitch wears off. I also find that I want more experiences now than things. I'd rather spend my money on a vacation or going out to dinner with friends or family than owning something new.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - I think my husband has the same mindset about treating himself after living in scarcity as a child. I have some inbuilt frugal gene that just makes me very careful with my spending and I really resent being overloaded with ads to buy, buy, buy. That being said, occasionally an ad gets it right and I love that I can spend money now without worrying about how the bills would be paid.
Delete