WHO AM I BECOMING AS I AGE?
I saw a quote from The Happiness Planner recently about discovering who we're becoming over time. There's so many different life experiences that we've moved through that leave a stamp on us. The quote reminded me that we keep changing and growing - that we can choose what we want to keep and what no longer serves us and can be released....
Perhaps the purpose of life isn't to find one fixed, final version of yourself. Perhaps it's to notice all the versions of yourself you have become without realizing it - the one who survived, the one who stayed too long, the one who began again, the one who learned to trust, and one who finally stopped asking for permission. Not every version of you was meant to last forever, but each one carried you somewhere. Growing up is learning which parts deserve to come with you into the next chapter, and which ones you can finally thank and release.
OUR IDENTITY ISN'T FIXED
It's always good to read a reminder that who we are is constantly evolving - there are many versions of ourselves that we move through as we grow through life. How we respond to the good and bad, the boring and the amazing, the ups and the downs - all of that shapes us into who we are today, and who we'll be tomorrow.
I'm so grateful that the tough times of the past can serve a purpose and that I didn't go through them for nothing. The pain and stress of the experiences taught me what I needed to learn about what I bring to the table, and who I allow a seat to share that table with me. What I might have put up with a decade ago no longer has relevance to who I am today.
NOTHING IN LIFE IS PERMANENT
Growth moves us forward, it takes us away from the old version of ourselves and carries us to the next phase of life. I'm hoping that each new phase makes me a little wiser and a little more gracious. I'd like to think that I can release what doesn't fit any longer so that I can make room for the the new experiences life will bring my way. But I also want to hold onto the fact that I don't have to be on a continuous improvement cycle. I really liked this quote that I saw recently:
Your relationship with yourself cannot be built entirely around improvement. At some point, you have to become someone you are allowed to enjoy being. You get to be proud of who you are. Present tense.
As I've inched my way along in life I think I'm finally drawing closer to who I am and what feels like a good fit for me. It took all the years of working to discover that I really enjoy retirement. It took all the years of parenting to be able to enjoy my adult children and grandchildren. It took all the ups and downs of married life to be able to enjoy the calm and depth that I have now. It took many types of friendships passing through to know which ones to hold onto and which ones to let go. And it took a lot of living to figure out what resonates with my values and what can't be part of my world.
SOME OF THE BENEFITS OF SELF-DISCOVERY
When I Googled the benefits of self-discovery, this is what I found - and I think it sums it up better than I probably could (and in fewer words!)
Mental and Emotional Benefits
- Less stress: You stop worrying what others think and accept who you are.
- Better choices: You make decisions that fit your real needs instead of following trends.
- Emotional control: You learn your emotional triggers and stay calm during hard times.
- Self-compassion: You judge yourself less and forgive your own mistakes.
Social and Life Benefits
- Clear boundaries: You find it much easier to say "no" to things you do not want.
- Stronger bonds: You communicate your needs clearly, which makes your friendships and work bonds better.
- True purpose: You stop chasing goals meant for other people and build a life that satisfies you.
WAYS TO TAP INTO SELF-DISCOVERY
As I'm figuring out who I've become and what else still lies ahead, these are a few of the things I've been putting into place to that might work for you too:
- Deciding what works and doing more of that
- Releasing old expectations and habits that aren't useful
- Sitting with the questions that intrigue me
- Being brave enough to try something new
- Loving those who contribute to my life
- Forgiving myself and others for past hurts
- Finding what I like - not what I think I should like
- Trusting the process and not rushing
- Allowing breathing space and room for joy
- Embracing the life I have now as it unfolds
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you on a journey of self-discovery? Are you able to release what no longer serves so that you have room for what's still to come?
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