The A-Z Challenge ~ Why Midlife's Fabulous ~ Self Confidence

The A-Z Challenge ~ Why Midlife's Fabulous ~ Self Confidence


HAVING AN EPIPHANY

When I reached Midlife I had an epiphany of sorts as far as my relationship with myself went. I stopped seeing myself as middle aged, and settled and stuck, treading water in the same place, and started seeing a whole new person - someone who could stand alone if need be, someone who had a lot to offer, someone who had a brain and a heart, who had good friends and a great family network, who was a person in her own right......and I liked that person a lot.

THE RESULT OF LIKING MYSELF

When I started liking myself and accepting myself, happiness seeped in. I couldn't force happiness into my life, it came as a byproduct of discovering my own worth and finding contentment in myself. Happiness didn't burst into my life with this discovery, it gradually crept in over time. It was nice to feel that way based on acknowledging my own self worth, rather than it being dependent on other people and how I thought they perceived me.

There is a saying "Don't put the key to your happiness in another person's pocket" and another that says "Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose". I was doing both of these things because I didn't have the confidence to take responsibility for my own happiness. You can't expect others to make you happy - it's not fair on them and it's not fair on yourself, you have to step up and see your own value.

I AM ENOUGH

Taking responsibility for my own self-worth means looking at myself as a valuable and lovable person. If I can't see that in myself, then I'm never going to find it from other sources. Choosing to see the qualities I have, to give myself credit for the journey I've been on, to look at the positives and show myself kindness, is all part of the process. Finding I liked myself was the beginning and it just keeps getting better. Realizing I am enough - and quite often, more than enough - what a revelation!

You can't go your whole life trying to please everyone else

If you'd like to read more about Self Confidence you can go HERE or HERE.
See you tomorrow for T which is for Time to Travel.

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23 comments

  1. These are profound words. I'm happy you had this epiphany and began to appreciate yourself. It isn't easy to do that and I'm glad you experienced it. I'm still struggling with it and would love to read how you did it. Was it a struggle? What tools did you employ? What did you do differently? Another blog post?

    Scenes from a Marriage #Lexicon of Leaving

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  2. I enjoyed this post. So true, if we can't love ourselves, who can we love? And yet self-doubt is always hovering in the background ready to kick you in the rear. I love your motto, "I am enough." That says it all. Have a great weekend! S is for SEO Strategies as you Build a Better Blog/ #atozchallenge

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  3. I used to be that person who expected my partner to make me happy. Until he dumped me. I left the country and went of a quest to find myself. What you describe is exactly what I learned. It's in my own hands, and nobody else's.
    Another great post and life lesson, Leanne. Have a wonderful weekend!

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  4. Lovely read..I totally agree with being responsible for your own happiness...The quote about not putting the key to you happiness in someone's pocket is so apt

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  5. It took me a looonnnggg time to like myself and to realize I wouldn't be happy without an attitude adjustment. Adjustment made. I have to say, my years after around age 50 have been my happiest. (I hope they continue that way!). Finally liking myself and not competing with myself was the key. I am enough. And if you don't like me, oh well. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

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  6. This is something that I still struggle with, and it is a learning process. Great post.

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  7. This is such a profound truth and one I wish we could teach. But I think it has to be experienced. And yet, once we have it, there's no un-knowing it. And that is a very beautiful thing indeed.

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  8. So true that happiness comes from internal not external sources. I do think my self confidence has gotten better with age. WeekendsInMaine

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  9. I love this Leanne! It's amazing how many years we spend chasing something that is within us the whole time!

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  10. Within our reach. If we just look within!

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  11. Applause, applause! I hope many people read this and take the advice you offer. Many of us have had this epiphany.

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  12. "When I started liking myself and accepting myself, happiness seeped in. I couldn't force happiness into my life, it came as a byproduct of discovering my own worth and finding contentment in myself." Such true words! I feel I had the same experience. Great post!!

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  13. Very very deep and thoughtful journey you have had Leanne to come onto this discovery about self! Its just beautiful and thanks for sharing it! I agree with your words here - happiness comes when we appreciate ourselves and what we have in our lives!!! Cheers

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  14. Totally agree with you, Leanne. I have experienced the same.
    Self-love & self-confidence are much needed. More power to us to recognize!

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  15. Another great post Leanne, I could relate to this one too. I have a postit sticker on my wardrobe door that says 'I am enough' - to remind me!!

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  16. I'm happy for you that you came to this realization! Wouldn't it be wonderful if we grew up thinking we were "all that and more?"

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  17. Wonderful epiphany and post! Your words are so true, we can't make anyone else responsible for our happiness, it comes from within ourselves.

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  18. I am needing to be more confident..and yet I was for decades!! This changes in my life keeps dragging me down and for some good reasons which I can't disclose. I will take some of your words to heart and do my best to put them into action. Thank you for linking up today for #lifethisweek 17/52. Next week: Taking Stock.

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  19. Thanks so much for sharing those happiness quotes. They resonate so much with what I need to remember for my own life.

    SSG xxx

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  20. there are definitely benefits that come with middle age and self confidence is one of them! Great post!

    Ingrid
    http://www.fabulousandfunlife.blogspot.com.au

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  21. I love the quote about not putting the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket. I hadn't heard that one before. I also often reflect on the quote about how no one can make you feel bad without your permission. I think they speak to the same sentiment - namely being confident in who you are, where you are and how you deserve to be treated. This was an inspiring post to read. Thanks! - Louise

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  22. Even though I am not midlife yet. I find so much inspiration and wisdom from you posts. You have a knack for honing in on what I am feeling at that moment whenever I read your posts. You are an inspiration and your words truly help and inspire me. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

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  23. I am enough says it all Leanne. I have selected your post as my favourite in this week's Over the Moon link party. Have really enjoyed your AtoZ Challenge. x

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