MY A-Z CHALLENGE - O FOR OPEN YOUR EYES
The next letter of my A to Zen of Life (via the Dalai Lama) is O for Open Your Eyes. I didn't quite know where to start with this one. So, when in doubt I go with the KISS principle and look for the simplest answer. And that relates directly back to what the Dalai Lama wants us to learn from this.....don't over complicate everything - look for the simple solution and take things at face value.So often we get ourselves into trouble by over-thinking things. We think (often rightly) that if something is too good to be true - then it just might be! On the other hand, if we second guess every decision, look for hidden agendas everywhere, and generally don't trust our gut instincts, then we make life more difficult than it needs to be for ourselves.
SEE THINGS (AND PEOPLE) AS THEY REALLY ARE
I like to surround myself with people I trust, people who I know have my best interests at heart, and people who have my back. If someone I'm close to has something to say then I can take it at face value because I know they are speaking the truth and are authentic in what they are sharing. I don't have to delve into the undercurrent - I know they're speaking the truth and they have good intentions.I also recognize that there are toxic people in this world. "Friends" who don't necessarily want the best for us, they may feel threatened by our confidence or our success and they subtly put us down and undermine us. Midlife has taught me how to recognize these people and to let them leave my life - no conflict, no drama, just a quiet distancing and the knowledge that they aren't "my people".
BE ALERT BUT NOT ALARMED
This was the key slogan from the Australian government when it came to the terrorist threats in years gone by. It applies to a lot of things in life - we need to be aware of what is around us (eyes wide open) but confident in our intuition and our wisdom to be able to discern who is for us and who is against us.We learn to choose our battles and to stick with the positive and avoid the negatives in life - that includes people, drama, disruption, and plain irritation. Life is a lot more Zen when we take responsibility for our choices and stay away from toxicity.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you live with your eyes wide open and with a realistic view of life? Have you learned to avoid the negativity and stick with people who are on your team? Does it get easier to do as you get older and wiser?
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Great thoughts for an 'O' day. I just LOVE the photo you used with Maya Angelou's quote. The colors are captivating.
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteYes, yes and yes! YAM xx
As I e ages Leanne I've learned to avoid the toxic people. I'd much rather spend my time with people who have my back and can see the positives not just be constantly negative.
ReplyDeleteI was lost for O too and reading this I realised I could have raved on about over thinking - oh my goodness yes. I remember the era of be alert but not alarmed ... and I too have watched this very natural refining process of friends dropping away - we dont want hard work we dont want to feel drained, we want friends with good intentions who we can trust and who trust us. it is a beautiful thing. and yes I reckon it has got easier as I have gotten older - I am more discerning ....
ReplyDeleteA wonderful kid bit of wisdom yet again- keeping our eyes open and at the same time not getting overly worked up, in fact embracing simplicity is the key to happiness https://akswrites.com/2018/04/17/oh-my-god-atozchallenge-blogchattera2z/
ReplyDeleteLoving this A-Z. Avoiding negative people does get easier are we get older. I guess we all learn from mistakes...eventually. I now embrace mistakes - and view them as a learning experience, which really helps me. Thanks Jilll www.midlifesmarts.com
ReplyDeleteYour A to Z of Dalai Lama Zen is so enjoyable. Open your eyes - I think that's what's happening to me now - where I'm learning not to trust everyone and to quietly distance from the toxic people so that I know that my people around me really are there for me and can be believed and I don't have to hunt for the hidden meaning.
ReplyDeleteStunning photo choice, Leanne and an inspired choice of topic for the letter O.
ReplyDeleteIt's certainly much easier for me to avoid toxic people now that I'm retired and my time is my own, but I wouldn't say that I'm good yet at extricating myself when I do get into negative situations. I'm working on it.
Sometimes it's such a balancing act isn't it Leanne? To have an open heart towards others, but to have open eyes and be realistic about their strengths and weaknesses (as well as our own), and also not to attribute motive (to steal one of my husband's favourite sayings). He's such an optimist, whereas I think of myself as a realist (but my youngest son reckons I'm a pessimist, lol). Like I said, balance!!
ReplyDeleteLoving this series. Very inspirational.
ReplyDeleteLetting go of toxic people is incredibly freeing and yes, there is no need for drama. We do not owe anyone our time or attention. Thank you for the food for thought.
ReplyDeleteI try to. It isn't easy, but it is so important to see reality. It's often not as bad as I've made it out to be. Melanie's Stories
ReplyDeleteI love that Maya Angelou quote! What I have found recently is I am filling my life with more positive, supportive people. Both online and IRL. The ones who say "you go girl" no matter what I'm trying! Who tell me I'm being too hard on myself (yeah, I am), who tell me I'm great just the way I am (trying to believe that), who surround me with positive energy and make me smile. I think that's what I've done... allowed the positive people in!
ReplyDeleteI believe it's true that you become like those who surround you. Staying aware of the situation lets you make positive choices about where you want to be. Keep the positive vibes flowing!
ReplyDeleteKimberly
Passing Down the Love #AtoZ
I like the quote you shared.
ReplyDeleteI try to be alert in daily life. I guess as one explores the world, gets hold of situations because of experience. Thank you for sharing wonderful post about O. I enjoyed reading it.
Jui Positive Cookies
Be alert, not alarmed. Love it! I'm keeping that one!
ReplyDeleteI've selected Openness as one of three 'O' words, Leanne. Being open and aware of our own part of the universe is important for our relationships and our own self-care. Xx
ReplyDeleteI'm probably a little too pragmatic, really, when it comes to other people. I can be very skeptical of people's motives, but these days, you really have to be.
ReplyDeleteOf course you have to balance that with being too closed. It's definitely something to work on!
@IsaLeeWolf
A Bit to Read
Great image for the Letter O. The older I get, the less I see through rose colored glasses. Unfortunately it is a sign of the times.
ReplyDeleteThis is the nice part of aging - that we have the wisdom and experience to deal with toxic people, and to focus ourselves with open eyes. We can look at world events, knowing something like that has happened in our lifetimes. Like Sue, I think I shed my rose colored glasses a while back. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteGreat advice although sometimes I find it difficult to not over-think things. I do think seeing people as they really are becomes easier as you get older though. Weekends In Maine
ReplyDeleteIf I'm honest, I don't know that I have a realistic view of life. My brain knows life is what it is, and I have gotten much better at not reading too much into things, but I have high expectations for myself. I mentally flog myself if I don't accomplish enough each day.
ReplyDeleteBe alert, not alarmed sounds like good advice.
ReplyDeleteYou have one life, and you can spend it worrying and agonising - wasting valuable time that you could be enjoying yourself with the people you love and trust as you are saying.
I don't think it gets easier getting toxic people out of our lives as we get older but I do think we are more tuned in to who is toxic. I have learned to gradually move people out of my life if they don't serve my best interest.
ReplyDeleteToxic people are sad people and the helper in me had a problem with "banning" people from my life, but as I age I have realized that I am more aware in many ways and that I must walk my own path calmly and with as much joy as I can find. I find that not many toxic folks want to walk this path with me. This is their decision, not mine.
ReplyDelete