A TO Z CHALLENGE – B FOR BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

#AtoZChallenge - B is for Believe in Yourself and Succeed

MY A-Z CHALLENGE – B FOR BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

The second letter of my A to Zen of Life (via the Dalai Lama) is B for Believe in Yourself. This seems so simple and straightforward – the Millennial Generation does it without even trying, but for those of us with self-esteem issues it can be a tough one.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND SUCCEED

Self-worth and self-confidence have always been winners in the race to be popular or to stand out in the crowd. Belief in your own value comes easily for some, but for others (like me) it’s been a journey to find that inner certainty.

My generation wasn’t brought up with all the emphasis on self – the “Me” Generation came well after my youthful years and I feel like I’ve been playing catch-up ever since. To learn to like myself, to trust my instincts, to know what I bring to the table and to expect to be respected for that, has been a steep learning curve.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE

One thing I am sure about is that it’s definitely never too late to make a start on discovering who your authentic self is and learning to like that person. It’s never too late to stop the self-defeating habits of people pleasing and perfectionism. I was caught up in both and couldn’t see how draining it was trying to be all things to all people and always worrying about getting something wrong.

The strongest factor for success is self-esteem. believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it

Letting go of the desire to keep everyone happy isn’t easy, but with practice it becomes less important and frees you up to start working on finding out who you are and liking that person. I’m a work in progress, but every year I feel like I’m getting closer to accepting myself and believing in my own abilities and value. Once you learn to value yourself, you are a lot less likely to put up with other people treating you poorly.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Have you figured out who you are and what you’re worth? Have you got the whole self-esteem gig worked out, or are you still a work in progress like me? I’m finding that the more “me” I am, the easier it is to navigate through life. You worry less about what other people are thinking and doing, and you get on with enjoying every moment of this life we’ve been blessed with.

#AtoZChallenge - B is for Believe in Yourself and Succeed

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#AtoZChallenge - 2018 and I'm tackling the A to Zen of Life (via the Dalai Lama)

37 comments

  1. Hari OM
    The self-esteem thing came later to me, also - we are same generation I think. It is so true that we were taught to think of others before ourselves. This is actually a good human value to apply, but it only works well IF one's self esteem is not overwhelmed or depleted by it. Once grasped, self-belief is an incredible power. Definitely worth embracing! YAM xx

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  2. Very good advice, Leanne! I don't worry about what other people are doing or thinking. I just get on with my own plans, enjoy the present, and am thankful for what I have.

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  3. Most of our generation would agree with you about self-esteem Leanne. That is why we probably instilled it into our children - to believe in themselves. It is hard not to worry what other people think and to live authentically but life is a work in progress and as long as progress is being made that is all I can ask of myself. xx
    Sue Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
    B is for Beauty - the importance of inner beauty

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  4. Self-esteem is certainly a tricky one Leanne, but I'm glad I'm not a millennial, their entitlement scares me!!
    My journey over the last few years has been to bed down into the truth of Christ's outrageous, scandalous love and sacrifice for me, and the knowledge that I have inestimable value because of that, no matter whether I'm "successful" or not, "valued" by the world or not.
    But like you, I'm a work in progress too!! xx

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  5. Believing in oneself, looking for self worth & identity indeed a good post

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  6. I enjoyed this post Leanne, as I can really relate to it. Most people would probably think I have self-esteem under control but in reality it's a hard road to keep it all together. I think it's as you say, our generation hasn't been brought up with the whole me attitude and we're playing catch up. I tend to go up and down with it if I'm being honest. Thanks for another great read.

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  7. Good point, LeeAnne, and once again it all comes down to "letting go". Darn.
    To me perfectionism is not only about pleasing other people, but also myself, and for some reason that bar is set pretty high 😜
    I tend to have some breakthroughs, though. I like to call them "scr*** them, today I do whatever the he** I want!"

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  8. It's taken me a long time to find my self esteem, and even now sometimes it fails! Mine is also abut self esteem in a way - a poem sent to me by American author and poet Jane Yolen. Im doing Z to A! http://www.poetryroundabout.com

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  9. True, eh? I think learning to know who we are and liking that person, and you aptly define it, is particularly difficult for a womane, because we need to be so many things to so many different people, and sometimes, our true self gets lost in all that mess.
    It is a costant fight.

    But I don't agree that Millennials are more lucky than the generations that came first. To some extent, I think they got it rougher, since so much preassure is put on them and what they appear to be.

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  10. Such good advice, Leanne, and you're right. We weren't encouraged to believe in ourselves. My parents were so scared I would grow up boastful that I was rarely encouraged! Brains! Are we stuck with what we have?

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  11. I really appreciate your honesty and openness in this post, Leanne. I too struggle with being a perfectionist and a people pleaser. It's really exhausting to spend all of my time worrying about what's going to make everyone else happy. I've been trying to change that since I retired and I'm making progress but, like you, I'm very much a work in progress. Overcoming the conditioning of a lifetime is more than a challenge to me, I think it has become my quest!
    https://profoundjourney.com - Beauty, the Invisible Embrace

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  12. Still struggling with self esteem but working on itX I find the more I'm authentic the easier it is to come to terms with who I am. Liver your B post Leanne

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  13. It's been a journey for me too although I do think it gets easier as you get older. At least it seems to be for me which is comforting. Weekends In Maine

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  14. Hi LeAnne, very good advice. Eventually women will realize that you do not need permission to be a strong, confident woman, you just need to claim it, without apology and get on with life. On Wordpress https://picture-retirement.com/2016/12/31/welcome-to-picture-retirement/

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  15. Good for you.Taking away the emotional vampires from my life really helped.

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  16. Great post! It is a daily struggle, believing in myself. I grew up with backhanded support- you are so smart/what a klutz, you can’t take dance class. To this day I tend to make fun of myself when I should say, ‘See, I can do it!’
    But it has gotten easier, with strong cheerleaders in the form of husband, kids, strong friends and our Midlife group...

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  17. You are definitely hitting all the buttons! I've lived with the Imposter Syndrome my whole life. Often it was boosted because I was a woman in a male-dominated field... so the regular "not being as good as the boys" implications were pretty wide spread. I've also been told I have very high expectations and I need to be kinder to myself. Not only believe in myself more but also be more accepting of myself. Self-acceptance is something I'm working on this year. And not worrying about what others think/expect.

    Great "b"... so looking forward to your continues Zen posts.

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  18. I didn't hit my self-esteem stride until I got into my 40's. But I don't agree that the Millennial Generation has it any better. Sure they stick themselves out there on social media all day long, but now their self-esteem is built around the number of likes and shares they get.

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  19. I like me. But I like me better when I'm doing something for someone else. It makes me happy!

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  20. I spent many years on my life path trying to become comfortable with who I am. Turns out I had to accept myself before I could believe in myself. We do gain wisdom as we age, don't we?

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  21. I agree with you. but generations aside, we should not allow someone or anything define who we are, we should define ourselves, believe in ourselves, be ourselves!

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  22. This was beautifully written! I still struggle with believing in myself, I'm not sure that will ever change. But I'm slowly learning to stop caring what other people think about me, and I think that might be a good first step.

    Melanie's Stories

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  23. I have written so many times about how very much I struggle with this very issue, just the pride and confidence in myself and for myself.

    LOVE A to Zen! How fun!

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  24. A very encouraging post. For those who struggle with self issues regardless of age, era or circumstances, your shared experiences surely give insight and tools to help.
    Sue at CollectInTexas Gal

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  25. I was single for a long time, and really got comfortable in my own skin. Now that I'm married, I'm back at square one trying to re-find myself, in connection with this other person. How do I keep myself, me?

    That said, it's hard for me not to try to be a people-pleaser. I agonize after every social occasion about my stupid gaffes and unintentional insensitivity. That's my other work in progress: Letting go.

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  26. I needed to read this. I haven't worked out the people pleasing or rather 'not' people pleasing seamlessly. I know I shouldn't do it but it feels so uncomfortable to take a stand. Till I actually do it my way then the guilt disappears and things are much better. It's still a struggle.
    http://www.kalpanaawrites.com

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  27. Hi Leanne, we can all do with more self-belief! Thanks for sharing and co-hosting #MLSTL I've shared on social media. x

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  28. I've been working on this stuff for the last 5 years or so. I've had my share of struggles with self-belief, self-confidence, self-esteem, all that stuff. I've been a people pleaser and I put others before myself for many, many years. I am learning who I am now and understand myself more. Still a long way to go in other areas though. xo

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  29. I grew up being a people pleaser--torn between two voices, the one that told me I'm something special and the one that told me I was actually a fraud about to be found out at any moment. The thing is both of those voices are based on comparisons to other people. I, like you, am learning to be me, the best me I can be, but that isn't determined by accomplishments or failures, recognition or embarrasment. It is definitely a work in progress though. Thanks for always being authentic and vulnerable in your writing.

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  30. So much good advice here Leanne, and no matter how much work we have done on self-belief there always seems to the need for a bit more as we get challenged in various situations. Sharing on my social media :-)

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  31. Great advice Leanne, and for me I'm always tryng to work hard on creating self belief. One minute it's there, and the next it's gone with the wind. Believe it or not but I'm still trying to please my mother, and when that doesn't happen I kind of fall into being 16 again - with no self esteem whatsoever!

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  32. I am a work in progress. I have good days and bad days, but more good than bad.

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  33. Great post, Leanne! I think many, nearing or over 50, were taught that it was selfish to put so much emphasis on ourselves. I went through spurts. I gained confidence and self-esteem in my 20's when I became a wild child. When I got married, I lost it. Now that I'm divorced and HAPPY, I'm rekindling that confidence and self-esteem. I think it's important that we focus on US and be happy with who we are before we can focus on anyone else.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  34. This has been a journey for me as well- a step learning curve as you said. Age and wisdom has been freeing though, and my confidence is moving in the right direction. Trusting yourself and liking yourself is key.

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  35. I have believed in myself off and on through my life but it takes work. My family always saw me as very strong and in control so I guess I projected the images even if at times I was struggling.

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  36. My self-esteem has certainly improved with age and my skin has grown a little thicker as well.

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