A TO Z CHALLENGE - R FOR REMEMBER SILENCE

#AtoZChallenge - 2018 and R for Remember Silence is sometimes the best answer

MY A-Z CHALLENGE - R FOR REMEMBER SILENCE

The next letter of my A to Zen of Life (via the Dalai Lama) is R for Remember Silence is sometimes the best answer. This is the perfect piece of advice we can take on board when it comes to social media. How many times have we seen a post thrown up by someone with a bee in their bonnet, that is just asking for a response.

We think we can sort them right out by telling them how wrong they are. We have so many great reasons why we're right and they obviously are completely ignorant or misguided. We are poised with our fingers on the keys to let rip with a great comment..... But is that really the right response?

SILENCE IS SOMETIMES THE BEST ANSWER

I've seen friendships lost over a disagreement online. Different political agendas, different world views, different belief systems - before you know it, someone is uploading an article that supports their viewpoint and all hell breaks loose. Why get embroiled? Why cause more upset by having your two cents worth? Why ruin a friendship over something that will be forgotten in a day or two?

The same could be said for the person who feels the need to spout their beliefs and ideologies all over Facebook - don't do it! Save it for a face to face discussion where you can get down to the nitty gritty and have a really thought provoking discussion. Social media isn't that place - there isn't the time or the space for thoughtful answers and things escalate far too quickly. Let's not go there in the first place.

Silence is true wisdom's best reply. - Euripides

PUPPIES AND KITTENS

So, when in doubt about whether to post something controversial, my advice would be - Don't do it! Don't alienate your friends for the sake of scoring a point or two. Don't cause unnecessary upset - if in doubt, post a picture of a puppy or a kitten instead - it will get you just as many comments, but they'll all be positive and upbeat - not angry and confrontational (I know which I'd prefer).

The saying "Silence is Golden" was coined for a reason - what is unsaid is so much easier to forgive than what is blurted out without enough thought for the consequences. It's very hard to un-say something you've thrown up on social media or spouted at the spur of the moment. Stop, think about the end result, and then maybe silence will look like the right response.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Do you get tired of social media fights? Have you unfriended or unfollowed someone because they felt the need to constantly promote their political or personal views all over Facebook, Twitter or Instagram? Let's be kinder and if in doubt - choose silence.

#AtoZChallenge - 2018 and R for Remember Silence is sometimes the best answer


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#AtoZChallenge - 2018 and I'm tackling the A to Zen of Life (via the Dalai Lama)

27 comments

  1. I have no interest in social media. I have no time for sound bite conversations about meaningful things, and less than no interest in keeping up with the moment to moment happenings of my friends. That doesn't mean that I don't value online communication. Places like your blog, and mine, are welcoming places for substantial conversation among members of a supportive, open and considerate community. I have a lot of time for that.

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  2. Hari OM
    It seems that being in all those places requires "R"esilience! Am not on any of them. A few good blogs does me, quality conversation - or just a good read and nice cuppa. YAM xx

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  3. I'm in total agreement Leanne. Sometimes people just go way over the line with what they say or how they respond on Social Media. Sometimes the best way to communicate is to be silent :)

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  4. Social media would surely benefit from this post. Excellent!

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  5. Leanne, well said! I've never been on Facebook, but I've heard stories about the friending/unfriending problems. I'm on Twitter occasionally, and people can get pretty fired up there as well. But I just tweet about food and puppies and kittens! :-)

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  6. While I value silence - I also value discussion and sometimes arguments. My family has always been good at arguing -- we have a wide variety of religious and political views. We argue and defend our opinions loudly -- but we are always careful to respect one another. I don't think the problem is the argument so much as the lack of respect.

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  7. A to Zen of Life - I like theme. Silence is truly golden ... and much better than empty spouting of opinions.

    Often, in large groups, when everyone is talking at the same time - I just clam up. Whats the point of shouting to be heard? Better to act as per your goals.

    Would love it if you could check out my #BlogchatterA2Z post on R.
    https://lonelycanopyblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/19/rainy-days-in-oceangreen-kannur/

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  8. I've really tried to adhere to this principle when it comes to my sons and their Facebook posts. As tempting as it is to wade right in and make a "mum" comment, I'm usually wise enough to refrain. We remain FB friends to this day, so I think my approach has generally been the right one!

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  9. Great advice here Leanne. I've seen so many rants on Facebook that I'm not interested in getting involved with. When feeling upset if you feel like having your day just sleep on it first.

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  10. I have only a handful of Facebook friends who post sh** that I have to refrain from commenting. However, I do know quite a lot of puppy lovers :-)

    Happy Friday!

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  11. My poor mother recently joined FB and unfortunately even in your 70's you can learn this lesson the hard way. I can at least be happy knowing it was not my fault she joined social media. lol
    Stephanie Finnell
    @randallbychance from
    Katy Trail Creations

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  12. Hi, Leanne - I agree that silence is often the best answer, especially online. Not taking the bait is wonderful advice.

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  13. Great topic for R and great advice in it too Leanne. This has happened to me a few times and it hurts when it does. Sometimes I give back and at other times I just ignore.
    Social media has brought about strong tendencies for personal vendatta score settling - quite an unsettling affair but yes it gets done everyday!

    R is for From Russia wih love #atozchallenge

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  14. I couldn't agree more. Silence online is usually the best policy. Silence in my mind is important too, and so easy to overlook. Melanie's Stories

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  15. Learned this the hard way. Oh, the words I wish I could just draw back into my mouth . . .

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  16. Yes I have unfriended or blocked people over politics mainly - not because I have had a disagreement with them but I got fed up with the posts over and over and all the arguments they were having with people who supported the opposite party. I don't mind some politics and/or something controversial but there needs to be a balance.

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  17. I agree with a lot of what you said. I think we all need to learn to disagree better, without the hurt feelings that seem to manifest all over social media. That being said, I think it's difficult to have a productive discussion online; far better to discuss these things in person and learn that it's okay to disagree.
    R is for Books About Regret

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  18. Yes, I hate it when people clash on Social Media. I have to bite my cyber tongue and not get involved. If it ever happens on my page or timeline (and so far I've been fortunate) I will block them from my page without comment R is for retirement. .

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  19. I think deep meaningful discussions and useful explorations of differing opinions simply cannot happen on social media, where it's all about blast-first-think-later quick response. I think the discussions and explorations are important though - I'm becoming increasingly concerned about our collective inability to engage in meaningful exchange.

    That said, I love and appreciate silence and breaks from our overly noisy, often disharmonious world.

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  20. I think everyone has a line. I am all for discussion but not personal attack. That is my line. And sadly I have had to remove a couple people who were more interested in attacking than discussing and respecting different opinions.

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  21. Silence is still golden although that is rarely remembered in the heat of the moment and social media has a lot of heated moments. Thanks for this, dropped by from #BloggersPitStop and ironically am going to share it on social media lol ;) Hope the weekend treats you well, Leanne

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  22. Leanne,

    No two people are ever on the same page all the time. I don't get all the silly stuff on Facebook. I don't agree with 99% of my friends but I'm not about to engage in conversation because I believe differently. Most folks really do not care to know what you think about sensitive issues. I know I was totally guilty of going overboard during the election and I'm sure that rubbed some folks the wrong way. It wasn't my intent. I don't think I'll go so far next time but I never once spoke ill to anyone or unfriend a person. I think we should be able to agree to disagree respectfully. But, you're right silence is golden. I may adhere to this practice next time...maybe, I'll think about it. lol Thanks for stopping in for a visit today and taking a looking at my 'sleeping dragons', I mean rock sketch. �� Have a restful weekend.

    ~Curious as a Cathy
    A2Z iPad Art Sketch 'R' for Rocks

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  23. Silence is indeed golden Leanne! You raise valid points here and so far I've been lucky not to have too much of a problem with social media but I like to avoid conflict wherever possible and I don't even post puppy or kitten things, so I'm doing well! Another great A-Z post :)

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  24. I find silence is often the best approach. Even with the down side, I do like social media and the ability to keep in touch with family and friends. And, for those posts that annoy, I just continue scrolling past them. I've tentatively engaged a few times and always regretted it. The amount of anger and unkindness can boggle the mind. So, no more. I try keep my posts happy and upbeat. Weekends In Maine

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  25. I do tire of the bickering on Facebook and have not been very active because of it! Thanks for sharing at The Blogger's Pit Stop! Can't wait to see what you link up next week! Roseann from This Autoimmune Life

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  26. silence is golden is such a beautiful mantra - there is a nobility in holding silence when maybe inside we are feeling deeply about something but a wisdom tells us not the time not the place. I dont belong to any social media - a blog an email and a phone does it for me. I dont mind writing letters either.

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  27. Leanne I can't tell you how many times I have typed out a rebuttal to something that gets my dander up on Facebook to turn around and delete my response. As my grandmother used to tell me "closed mouth is the easiest mended".

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If you'd like to have a conversation, feel free to email me any time - leanne.lecras@gmail.com