ASKING THE HARD QUESTIONS
Midlife brings with it a time where you question a lot of your assumptions. Life changes and the kids move out and you're home alone with your partner and you start wondering why you do a lot of things. Maybe it happens sooner for some people, but for me it was Midlife when it hit me between the eyes.
CHANGES, CHANGES EVERYWHERE
Around the time I turned 50 there were a lot of upheavals in my life - my job sucked, my husband had left his job and returned to full-time study, our kids were gone, and life was pretty dull, colourless and boring. I started to question why I went to work every day when I hated it so much, why I was married when my husband seemed to be fairly distant, what my role was in my kids' lives, and basically what was my purpose?
There weren't any easy answers and things looked grim - our marriage came close to imploding, I left my job, and I was in a bit of a dark hole. At the same time my husband was dealing with a dose of depression that made him dis-engaged and fairly intolerant of my slow slide into weepiness and wondering.
FINDING BALANCE AND POSITIVITYThings eventually sorted themselves out - as things tend to do when you put in a bit of effort in the right places. But the fallout was that I needed to go on a low dose anti-depressant for a while to help me re-fill the well that had run dry. It's a strange feeling to not be coping when you are normally a resilient person - but it's better to ask for help before you pass the point of knowing you need it.
Life has balanced out again - I found a new job quite quickly, my husband found work in his new profession, our first grandbaby was born, married life returned to an even keel - so onward and upward. There are no guarantees in life - it's about choosing to be proactive and making the most of the cards you've been dealt - whinging is not an option! Instead you need to think of it as "Delicious Ambiguity".
See you tomorrow for E - which is for the Empty Nest.