CHOOSING MY PERSPECTIVE
I think contentment and happiness both depend on our perspective. A friend shared an article with me recently about choosing what we focus on and the story we tell ourselves about our circumstances. It reminded me of the post I wrote many years ago about choosing our memories - we can choose to remember all the things we didn't receive, or we can put that aside and remember all the small joys that we experienced through childhood and into our adult years.
One of the biggest perspective choices I make is about how I see my small, quiet life....
FINDING CONTENTMENT IN THE SMALL THINGS
As I just mentioned, I live a very small, quiet, and simple life. And I feel like I have no big dreams, or goals, or bucket lists that need to be ticked off. I see others who are striving to continue working, to travel to exotic locations, to buy more, and be more.... and I'm happy for them. I want them to have what they want, but I find that these days I just want less.
I'm happy at home, I'm ecstatic to not be working, I have nowhere that's calling me to travel to, and I certainly don't want to buy more "stuff". I think my biggest focus is on feeling 'well' - I love feeling financially secure after decades of striving towards that goal. I love feeling physically well after the years of hip issues and chronic pain that led to my hip replacement a few years ago. I love having a home that feels warm and welcoming when I return to it. I love knowing I can do whatever I want when I want - that is such a gift in these trying times. I'm really happy with my small dreams.
It’s okay if you don’t have a big dream right now. Maybe your dream is to build a life that allows you to feel safe, calm, and rested. That’s a beautiful vision, too, and totally worth your time.
Tiny Buddah
LIVING A SIMPLE LIFE
I will admit to updating my phone last year (every five years or so seems to be my cycle there) and now and then something will catch my eye online and I'll get that little dopamine boost from buying it. But, these days my needs are small and most of them have already been met. It actually feels a little strange sometimes to not have anything I want for my birthday or for Christmas - and it makes me very difficult to buy for (just ask my poor husband!)
It's okay to repeat clothes; to use an old phone; to buy second hand items; to live in a simple home. It's okay to live a simple life.
Imperfectly Simple
LIVING A LIFE THAT FITS COMFORTABLY
A comfortable and happy life is different for each of us. We all have a Wishlist (even Taylor Swift has one that she's now singing about) ...but things seem easier for me these days because my wishes and dreams are small and feel achievable, they're focused on my loved ones and what I already have. At the same time, it's important to have things to look forward to, none of us want to completely stagnate, but it's also important to focus our attention on all the blessings already in our life - rather than on the things that someone else might have (or be doing) - let them enjoy their dreams without comparing, or wondering if we should have the same ones.... Let's just enjoy ours - even if those dreams seem small in comparison.
Envy, resentment, dissatisfaction, self-pity, judgementalism, and criticism all stem from wanting what others have, rather than being grateful for who we are and what we have. I'm so thankful that my small life is enough, that comfort and simplicity are high on my list of values, and that I'm not chasing someone else's dream. I'm not on Instagram following the influencers, I'm not selling my soul on social media, or creating a highlight reel - I'm just living my small, quiet life in my small, quiet way - and it's just delightful.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you focusing on what you have rather than on what others are doing? Are your dreams do-able or do they make you dissatisfied with where you are? Have you found that sweet spot of being content while you pursue whatever you'd like to do next?
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Great post, Leanne! Thank you! I am a minimalist in that I am happy with little things...and less! I don't like clutter and I prefer to enjoy the little things I have and experience every day!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing.
Hi Linda - I think enjoying minimalism is a gift as we get older. We accumulate less for our family to have to deal with down the track, and it's less for us to maintain and manage. I love my small, simple life where I'm surrounded by what I love. x
DeleteI like your idea of a small life. Too many times we think bigger is better and that just is not the case. A small life to me means a contented life. That is my goal as I downsize for my future. Smiles to you!
ReplyDeleteHi Allison - I think those of us who aren't hankering after all the bigger and better stuff in life find contentment naturally finds its way to us. I really do love my small life - and it's really lovely to not envy others isn't it? :)
DeleteI have always been a minimalist, Leanne. I think so many times, before I buy anything. I keep asking myself, should I buy? Can I manage without buying it? I do have dreams. But I am not impatient to realise those dreams. And I am realistic as well regarding realising them. More than anything for me dreams are like a guide.
ReplyDeleteHi Pradeep - I think realistic dreams keep us moving forward - with no dreams at all we might find ourselves stagnating. I just love that my dreams these days are small ones because most of what I used to dream about has happened, or doesn't matter anymore. :)
DeleteHi Leanne, you changed your profile photo … love this! Although, you always look great!
ReplyDeletePerspective is always a good reminder on where we focus our attention, and as you say well, our memories. I am with you on living my small, quiet life … the best kind!
You are likely aware about a rough week, a heartbreaking one in our province. Our precious small quiet moments are priceless. I just finished reading Bernie’s post and appreciating the ‘normal days.’ 💕xx Erica
Hi Erica - the world is a loud and messy place isn't it? I think part of the joy of a small life is that it allows me to be in my own little space impacting on a smaller sphere and being less impacted by the big stuff.
DeleteI just enjoy the quiet days, of doing little but doing it with gratitude. It's really nice to not envy others, to not want more, and to just be quietly happy. I'll have to hunt down Bernie's post for a read. xxx
Leanne, our days become more enjoyable and less pressured when we accept the life we have as 'enough.' There will always be those who have more, do more, and covet more, but they are not my role models. We are not there yet - that place that feels right for body and soul. But we are considerably more accepting of 'what is' than we were a year ago.
ReplyDeleteI think that sounds pretty good to me - not there yet, but well on the way. I think looking back to see how far we've come can be a good thing, and not wanting the life others are parading on social media is such a relief. Feeling content with what we have while steering towards the little improvements ahead is all part of the ongoing cycle of life - I just like that my wheels are turning slowly and I'm enjoying the view. :)
DeleteHi Leanne, I feel very lucky to be retired and I’m enjoying the slower pace of life. I don’t need to buy unnecessary items lol although I do love to treat myself occasionally. I like to crochet and bake. I love catching up with friends over coffee or lunch. I exercise by walking which is a great way to clear my mind and appreciate nature. All in all my life is much calmer nowadays, it may sound boring to some but after a lifetime being busy at work I’m very happy! Chrissie x
ReplyDeleteHi Chrissie - your life sounds very much like mine! Slow, gentle, full of all the thing that make life pleasant, and none of the hustle of those working years. There are plenty of people who do far more with their retirement, but I find that this slow pace just feels really good for me - and my morning walks are a big part of starting my day mindfully and on my own terms. We're very blessed aren't we? x
DeleteAnother lovely post on how much you appreciate the life you're living Leanne. We are all fortunate to have the lives we have and hopefully we can make the most of every day.
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I love how everyone's life is different, but what I love even more is that we have the privilege of choosing what our lives look like now - no more nose to the grindstone to try to keep the wolf from the door - just a pleasant peacefulness - and that's pretty perfect isn't it?
DeleteI do believe contentment is where I want to get back to. And I continue to focus on our plan, our path. So many others are building homes around us, it's hard to not compare.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'm not a minimalist! It's interesting that as I think about all the things we need to buy, (and yes, this is need and not just want), I'm looking at items that are simpler. I don't want my refrigerator to talk to me, or have the stove controlled by an app on my phone. I do want simplicity!
Hi Pat - I think I'd feel the same way about appliances - clean, simple, and straightforward. I can't believe how expensive stoves have become - it's like having a commercial kitchen in your home - and I just don't cook to that level.
DeleteI think you've put enough thought and preparation into your new build that it will be exactly what you need - bigger isn't always better, and often the homes we admire take a lot of extra upkeep to maintain - I'm back to simple and easy again with that too. Less is definitely more!
Just reading your words gives me a sense of pure comfort. I think my choice of Word for the year, RENEWAL, says something the same. I am committed to my same goals, nothing urgent,
ReplyDeleteHi Judith - when I read the quote about dreaming small dreams it just made my heart happy - to feel that it's okay to just quietly move through the year with gentle growth and freshness - nothing big, just quiet joy - bliss!
DeleteYou sound like you've found your place of contentment, Leanne. I am happy for you. I am also happy with my quieter life (compared to my working years), but I still enjoy having new goals and travel experiences. As you know, I am currently preparing to walk the Camino de Santiago, which has been a long-time dream. As for new clothes, I find I buy more workout clothes than anything these days, but I also recently bought a new shirt with big daisies on the sleeves. It's ridiculous how happy it makes me every time I wear it.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - you are a perfect example of someone living a big dream at the moment and me being really happy for you without feeling that I need to do it too. I'm really enjoying following along with you as you prepare, and it's like I get to do it with you (without the blisters!) And I love the idea of a shirt with daisies on it - that would make me ridiculously happy too. :) x
DeleteI am very glad for you Leanne as I know you have weathered many storms and overcome a lot. Nice to read such a positive and appreciative post. Warm (but not too hot!) wishes, Denyse x
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I think it really does make us more grateful for a simple life without complications when we've gone through a lot of ups and downs and upheavals. I think we both know that from experience! :) x
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