Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

THE SEVEN STAGES OF MARRIAGE

cresting the hill

DO YOU EVER COMPARE YOUR MARRIAGE?

We've been married for 40 years and there have been plenty of highs and lows along the way. When I'm pushing through one of those "messy moments" - usually caused by a miscommunication from one of us - I often wonder if we're the only ones who fluctuate, and if others have perfect and harmonious marriages from the time they say "I do" until death they do part.

I came across an infographic from The Pleasant Relationship the other day that summed up 7 stages of marriage and as I read it, I could tick each one - and even in the same order. It was reassuring to think that maybe we're not alone in going through different marital phases, so I thought I'd share it today along with a summary of each phase.....

LIVING LIGHTLY THROUGH FEBRUARY

cresting the hill

LIVING LIGHTLY OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS

If you read my blog regularly (thank you if you do!) you'll know I chose "Live Lightly" as my Word(s) Of The Year for 2023. I've made a pledge to myself to chill out a little this year and to take things as they come, rather than trying to push too hard or trying to control everything. I hope my year will reflect taking life at a gentler pace and stepping lightly and slowly.

So, on that note, to wrap up February, I'll be sharing a few little highlights that contributed towards a lovely month....

LIVING AND LOVING FOR THE LONG TERM

cresting the hill

WHERE DID 40 YEARS GO?

This week my husband and I will pause for a moment and celebrate 40 years of being married. It messes with my head to think that we've been together for so long......maybe it's because most of the time I don't even feel like I'm 40 years old, let alone the idea of having been married for FOUR decades! 

I could use this anniversary date to write "40 Tips For A Great 40 Years Of Marriage" - but I won't..... because - a) I think it's a little pretentious to assume I know any more than the next person about how to have a long term relationship, and b) because it would be a ridiculously long blog post! So, instead I'm sharing this today....

WHY THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN AND I WOULD NEVER BE BFFS

cresting the hill

WHO IS THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?

If you haven't grown up in the church, the Proverbs 31 woman would be a complete unknown to you. For a lot of Christian women she is the Instagram Mum of early biblical days.....you know.....the woman who does everything, and does it so perfectly that she's used as the shining example of womanhood - and preached about every Mothers Day in churches all over the world.

This woman has been lauded throughout biblical history and even has a magazine and several websites devoted to her perfect example. 
But that kind of perfection is a little daunting, and I don't think I'd ever have wanted to spend much time with her. 

Here's why....

LEARNING TO LIVE A LIFE OF SELF-COMPASSION

cresting the hill

INTRO

Today I have the next guest in my MIDLIFE SYMPHONY series where I've asked others to share what they're doing to make the second half of life the best half of life. Allison (from Start A Simple Life) has had quite a tumultuous time over the last six years and today she's sharing the biggest lesson she's learned from it all, and how that lesson is shaping the second half of her life.

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE

if we were having coffee

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE

It's time to celebrate the end of December, Summer is well  underway down here in Australia - so, why not share a lovely Summery virtual cup of coffee with me while I update you on what's been going on in my life lately. I love a good 'Taking Stock' blog post, so I hope you'll humour me and sit a while as I share my news.

ARE YOU LIVING IN LOVING AND SECURE RELATIONSHIPS?

cresting the hill

INTRO

Throughout October I'm sharing some wonderful thoughts from Anne Morrow Lindbergh and how they are reflected in my own journey through Midlife. If you missed the first two posts you can catch up on them HERE (Midlife) and HERE (Writing) and today's post is on Relationships.

There are three different kinds of relationships referred to in the quotes I've chosen - Marriage, Children, and Friendship, and I'd like to share a little on each.

WHEN YOU CRUSH YOUR HUSBAND'S INNER 20 YEAR OLD

cresting the hill

MIDLIFE MISCONCEPTIONS

Have you noticed that although we're in the second half of life, quite often we still feel like we're 20? When I look in the mirror I don't see a middle aged woman, I see a morph of that woman blurred in with the 20 year old I used to be. Maybe that's why I'm always taken aback when I see photos of myself and I look a lot older than I expected!

CELEBRATING SPINSTERHOOD

cresting the hill

HE IS ALWAYS HOME

My husband works from home....it's lovely that he can avoid the hassles of peak hour traffic and the daily commute, but it means that he is always home. This suits him perfectly as he is an introvert and avoiding crowds and office politics is fine by him. It works well for me in that he now takes on most of the housekeeping and is home to greet me when I walk in the door on my work days, but it means that he is always home.

Sometimes I miss having the house to myself - not that he's really in my personal space, and not that I don't love him dearly and enjoy his company, but I still miss alone time where it's just me and the cats and nothing going on in the background. I guess in a way, there are times where I miss Spinsterhood - living alone with cats!

WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT FEBRUARY?

According to the internet, February's a pretty boring month - but not in our house

A SPECIAL MONTH 

A few weeks ago I was wondering what to write about for February - I looked all over the place for inspiration and found.....crickets......nobody seems to have much to say about February at all. However, I did find one little quote from Jerry Della Femina that said:

Why do all our friends and relatives destroy the Summer for us? 
Why can't they get married in February?

FIRST (MIDDLE) AND LAST - MY MAN

Looking back over 35 years of marriage - beginning, middle and latest

OUR LIFE IN A FEW PICTURES

This is a short First, Middle and Last post - it's a bit of time travel through my meeting and being married to my man. Thirty five years of being together and I thought I'd do a few photos to document it - and the aging process!

NATIONAL WIFE APPRECIATION DAY

cresting the hill


NATIONAL WIFE APPRECIATION DAY

National Wife Appreciation day is celebrated on the third Sunday in September (the 17th in this case) - I don't post on a Sunday, but I couldn't resist celebrating this one a day late (instead of National Cheeseburger Day!)

In keeping with the concept of the day, I thought "who better to ask to write about wife appreciation than my own beloved husband?" He tentatively accepted the challenge and took his life in his hands to write about this very sensitive topic! I hope you enjoy reading his thoughts as much as I did - it was a pretty honest account - not sugar coated (unfortunately) but from the heart and that's what really counts isn't it?

WHY MIDLIFE'S FABULOUS - MARRIAGE

cresting the hill

DON'T MOCK

When you've been married for a very long time you come to realize how important it is to invest in the person who you made a life long vow to. It's so easy to take each other for granted and to let small annoying things drive us crazy. It's easy to "take the mickey" out of someone you know so well. It gives us a smile at the time but doesn't do anything to build up the person we love.

5 FUN FACTS ABOUT OUR FAMILY

cresting the hill

5 FUN FACTS ABOUT MY FAMILY

For my five things this Friday I thought I'd share five (hopefully) interesting things about my family. They're short and sweet so hopefully they'll be as much fun to read as they were to write about.

MARRIAGE AND DEPRESSION

cresting the hill

DISCOVERING DEPRESSION

I’ve always been a healthy person – fairly robust and not prone to illness in general. I expected that this was the same for everyone and had never heard of the term “depression” until it took a swipe at my family. Pre-Google, “depression” was what people got when someone died. I have subsequently found out it is also what people get when their family has a predisposition towards Serotonin deficiency.

DE-BUNKING THE MIDLIFE MARRIAGE FAIRYTALE

cresting the hill

KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOUR

I was talking to a friend about midlife marriage the other day. She lives in a perpetual state of "hope deferred" (as she refers to it) and "constant disappointment" (as I refer to it!) She keeps waiting for her husband of 28 years to step up and be her knight in shining armour. She is certain that her marriage should be a fairytale and is so disappointed that it's not.

WHEN YOUR TRAVEL STYLES DIFFER

Midlife - when opposites attract and then find out the differences when they travel together!

MIDLIFE TRAVELS 

For those who've seen my Facebook posts, you would know that I spent last week in Singapore with my very fit, and much more adventurous than me, husband - who should be renamed Bear Grylls the Second! We chose Singapore because it offered lots of variety seeing we like completely different things. So lets kick off Singapore Week on the blog today by reviewing a few life lessons Singapore style!


MIDLIFE ROCKS! ~ REDEFINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

cresting the hill

KEEPING THAT SPARK ALIVE

It's so easy to take your relationship for granted when you've been married forever. I know I was guilty of this and nearly lost it all in the process. You live in the same house, you see each other every day but you need to wake up and make midlife a time where you find the spark and the connection again. Once those kids are out the door and the distractions are gone, you need to make your relationship a priority.

REKINDLING YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN THE EMPTY NEST

cresting the hill

RECONNECTING WHEN THE NEST IS EMPTY

My last post was all about preparing our kids and ourselves for the time when they flew the nest and disappeared off into the sunset. The empty nest gave us a degree of relief and satisfaction, and it was wonderful to see them successfully launch themselves and to watch them thriving in the city and at university. They so easily settled into a completely new lifestyle and found their way around their new world with remarkable ease.

LIFE LESSON FROM MY CAT #4 ~ BE AFFECTIONATE BUT NOT NEEDY

cresting the hill

THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN CLOSENESS AND NEEDINESS

Even cats need to learn lessons in life - we have two cats and neither of them has gotten this one quite right just yet. We have one who comes for short visits involving being patted briefly and on her terms - then a quick exit back into her own space, and the other who gets patted but the more pats she gets the more pats she wants - it's more, and more, and more until we are so over it all, we send her on her way posthaste.