MY YEAR OF BECOMING "MORE"

My WOTY for 2019 was "More" and it inspired me to grow in many areas of my life. This is how it looked in retrospect.

12 MONTHS OF LEARNING TO BE MORE

I chose MORE as my Word of the Year for 2019 because I was feeling a bit lost and depleted. I don't think I realized at the time how run down I was and how my energy and resilience has been drained from working in a difficult job for the last three years. I think it was a subliminal need to reclaim myself and choose life on my own terms again that led me to selecting a word that wouldn't normally have been on my radar.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. Gordon B. Hinkley

CHANGES, CHANGES EVERYWHERE

As everyone is aware, at the end of February I walked out of my horrible job, did a little jump for joy, and started putting my life back together again. Every second Saturday for the year I've worked my way through the alphabet of areas that we all need More of - and in the process it's been a great reminder for me to slow down, breathe, choose positivity, calm and grace. My mojo has slowly but surely returned and my resilience feels like it's back to normal - life is soooo much better than it was 12 months ago.

Sometimes we're reluctant to embrace change, in my case it was thrust upon me when I couldn't handle the situation for a minute longer. I was scared, uncertain, and unsure what the future held.....and had to work my way through all those "What If/What's Next" questions to find my new normal and to appreciate that someone can mess with your head if you let them, but ultimately you own your power and taking it back is awesome! I'm sharing the quote below completely out of context, but it was a verse that came to mind several times as I moved on from it all.

You meant evil against me but God used it for good. Genesis 50:20

GOODBYE 2019

So I'm waving goodbye to the year that was over the next few weeks. Christmas and family time looms, I don't have to juggle it around work and taking leave, I don't have to think about facing another year of dealing with someone else's turmoil, I can just relax and congratulate myself on finding More of myself again and building on that. I feel like 2019 has taught me a lot of lessons about myself and the importance of boundaries and not trying to fix people who don't want to be fixed. I saw the quote below and thought it summed up my year beautifully. 

2019 - a weird year where I lived my best and worst life - and learned a lot of lessons in the process.

FROM HERE FORWARD

So.....2019 was a year of lessons, self-care, and re-building my self-confidence. I'm looking forward to what 2020 has to offer because I'm a free agent. I'm finally loosening my grip enough to allow life to happen at its own pace and not trying to make it all about my timeframe or my agenda. Going with the flow is still a new concept for me, but I'm getting better at it every day!

If you missed any of my More posts, here they are in their entirety with links. Feel free to browse your way through any that interest you. I'm already pondering next year's Word of the Year and have a few ideas swimming around in the back of my brain - stay tuned!

























WHAT ABOUT YOU?

How has 2019 played out for you? Did it bring joy, sorrow, lessons, or something else with it into your life? Did you have a Word of the Year? Are you planning on having one for 2020?

RELATED POSTS



My WOTY for 2019 was "More" and it inspired me to grow in many areas of my life. This is how it looked in retrospect.
My WOTY for 2019 was "More" and it inspired me to grow in many areas of my life. This is how it looked in retrospect.

To keep up to date with my posts, feel free to add your email into the spot especially for it on my sidebar and I'd love you to share this post by clicking on a share button before you go xx
This post was shared at some of these great link parties
Cresting the Hill - a blog for Midlife (Middle Aged / 50+) women who want to thrive

44 comments

  1. Most of 2019 was pretty ordinary given I spent much of it unemployed. Happily I've had an income again over the last few months, but I've got a job interview this week for something which would be full time for 18mths and I'm really unsure I want it. The $ and 18mths of employment security would be nice but I like the team I'm currently working with on a contract and am earning enough to pay my bills. But... the contract is due to finish soon and may not be extended if a project doesn't come off. So... who knows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The uncertainties of life Deb! It's so hard to make decisions when you haven't got a solid base to compare things with - what if the project comes off? what if it doesn't? Will you like the other job or the people and on and on. Good luck with the decision making - and I'm rather relieved to say that I'm glad it's you and not me (I think you're more decisive than I am!)

      Delete
  2. Thanks for your links to your "More" posts. I don't know if I caught them all. My word for this year was "Dance" and I started off paying attention to it a lot but as the year went on I don't know that I did it justice. "More" sounds like a great word for the year and I'm going to put it on my list when I do my word search this year!

    Janet’s Smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Janet - my WOTY was a bit out of left field, but when I look at it in retrospect I can see that it was a response to the downward spiral my life had taken and it was really important to me to reclaim myself. My 2020 WOTY is in a different direction and I'm hoping for some guest post volunteers - stay tuned!

      Delete
  3. Wow...I am glad you took control and took charge of your existence. I have been working on that as well. I must begin considering my word for 2020.
    Hufs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think things had gotten so bad that I had to take charge or drown Teri. I hope you take your courage in both hands and do al that you need to take your power back too. Goood luck with your WOTY for 2020 - I've chosen mine and am looking forward to launching it in January.

      Delete
  4. I love the list of your More words.... they are all so very positive. I love A to Z lists and this one is a wonderful "positivity list", not just a More list. But, gosh darn - nothing really for X or Z!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know Pat - X and Z were just going to be repeats of posts I've done for the AtoZ over the years, so I thought I'd be kind to myself and skip them. It's all about what feels right these days - not about jumping thru hoops I create for myself :)

      Delete
  5. You were living your best life and your worst life, even Dickens, that sage of literature, made a similar observation in A Tale of Two Cities (It was the best of times and the worst of times). It's a very wise way of looking at life, because sometimes, that's exactly the way it is—good things and bad things happening at the same time! I'm so glad you found your way out of all that...2020 looks pretty good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Diane - yes that Dickens' quote is great - and 2019 was a year of jumping out of the frying pan, and finding that the fire was actually warm and comforting rather than a worse scenario! I look back now and can't believe how far I've come and it makes me smile with a lovely sense of satisfaction. I'm really looking forward to 2020!

      Delete
  6. Hi, Leanne - Was it February when you joined me in retirement? Wow - 2019 has flown by so quickly! I've loved following your journey and reading your 'More' posts. Wishing you and your family a happy and healthy holiday season!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Donna - lovely to see you here even though you're having a blogging break for Christmas. And yes - I wound up my job in early March after a couple of weeks' notice - and this retirement gig is so much better than I ever imagined. Who'd work???!!

      Delete
  7. I am so happy to read this post Leanne, and I can't believe it was back in February that you left your job!! Where has the time gone? You've certainly made the most of that time though and have gone from strength to strength. I've thoroughly enjoyed your More posts. I'm currently contemplating my WOTY for 2020 and have a few contenders, how about you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just back for another read Leanne and shared for #mlstl

      Delete
    2. Hi Deb - yes it feels like only yesterday that I left, and also like I've been gone forever. No regrets and only a sense of relief to have left it all behind. I've chosen my WOTY (two words this time) and will be looking for some guest posters - so I hope you'll put your hand up xx

      Delete
  8. Gosh I remember reading that post when you left your job. So many emotions and watching and reading as you gained strength has been a delight. Sometimes the uncertainty of life keeps us in a space that we really do need to move on from. However we tend to stay thinking that we are ok with it. Its only when we make that jump/leap of faith that we realize what we had been putting up with. Onwards and upwards I say. Not sure I have a word for 2020 but love keeps popping up in my head. Love what I do Love what I see Love who Im with Love where I am. who knows lol...#MLSTL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bree - thanks so much for your encouraging words and you're so right about looking back and wondering why I put up with it for so long. I hung in there for the pay and because a lot of my sense of self-worth was tied into having a job. Now I'm finding my worth elsewhere and I think I'm a better person for it!
      I've chosen my WOTY for 2020 and I really like Love if you go with that - because there's a lot to love about our lives isn't there? And maybe those who are missing out on that need some inspiration.

      Delete
  9. Glad you feel you've become more (as retiring can often make people feel less). A little early for me wrap up post but will get on it soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it was a surprise for me too Lydia - I expected to feel like a loser for having thrown in the towel. Instead of that, I feel like I've won the Lottery - so it must have been the right thing for me to do.

      Delete
  10. Love hearing you sound so settled and happy Leanne. Thanks for the links to your previous posts.Seems I’ve missed some so will go back and see what I missed. Thinking about my #WOTY at the moment #MLSTL Will share

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jennifer - I do feel happy and settled - and so relieved to have that awful job in my rearview mirror. I think what was hardest to let go was the dream - that I'd finally found the "perfect" job to finish off my working life with. I guess the dream just came true faster than I expected! Looking forward to seeing what you come up with for your WOTY - I love the variety of what people choose.

      Delete
  11. Hi Leanne - I'm glad that you've grown so much more since you left your job. I look forward to hearing about your WOTY for 2020. #MLSTL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Natalie - I'm already churning some ideas around and pretty much have it settled in my head about 2020's WOTY. I love the way the process helps me drill down to what's mulling around in my head and gives me something to measure the year's progress with.

      Delete
  12. Hi Leanne - it's been a kind of metamorphosis year for you and I'm so glad to see how you've relaxed into your new normal. I haven't had a word for the year for many years now. I'm not sure if I'll have one for 2020 - I'm still muling that over. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Min - yes, definitely a metamorphosis big time for me. This year has been a real time of turning my world view on its head and finding that there were a lot of assumptions I'd made about my worth based on my job that were completely groundless. I actually feel like I have more self-worth now than I ever did when I was working. I like being my own boss!

      Delete
  13. It was a while back that you decided the leave the job and I know that brought mixed feelings but...look at you now. The writing about your year as you have gives you an amazing record of your growth and development. Blogging is so good for this. Congratulations on all your discoveries along the way! Denyse #mlstl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right about the mixed feelings Denyse (very insightful of you!) and what I love the most about the process is coming to the conclusion that I'm in a far better place now than I ever was in that "perfect" well paid job. When the only reason to suck it up is for the money, you have to look at yourself and wonder who you've become. I like the person I am now much better! You're also right about blogging being an excellent place to work through it all - and the encouragement I received along the way was an absolute blessing.

      Delete
  14. What a year of acceptance and More it's been for you Leanne. I'm so glad that you have regained your mojo and that you are moving forward positively, with grace, and dare I add, happiness? I think so. It's been a funny old year for you in many ways, but you've come through so much stronger. For me too - also living my best and worst life in many ways. I feel depleted and a little lost now that 2019 is over. Definitely need to search for a word to give me inspiration for 2020. Shared on Pinterest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jo - it's definitely been a year of lows and then highs. I think yours has worked in the opposite direction and losing your Mum certainly far outweighs me losing a miserable job. That being said, I'm still very happy now that I've worked my way through some of the stages of grief/resentment and moved onto acceptance and now absolutely loving the new life that I've been blessed with.
      I'm definitely looking forward to 2020 and I'm hoping it's full of great new adventures (for both of us). I have my WOTY all picked out and I'm revved up and ready to go!

      Delete
  15. My word for 2019 was simple because the previous year I had too much abundance! Downsizing and moving to a new state, starting new jobs, and learning about our new area can all be overwhelming. But we focused on taking it one day at a time on staying small now that we've downsized, and on enjoying the benefits that Florida does provide for free...like beautiful beaches, wonderful parks, and good friends. Now that 2019 is behind you, I can't wait to see how you take on 2020 with your renewed energy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love your word Jennifer - I've certainly added some simplicity into my life once I ditched all the complications! I'm delighted to have put so much of the drama behind me and this year has been a bit of a purge for me. 2020 is looking bright and hopeful and I'm ready to see where it takes me - it might be a year of 'same old' or maybe new things will come along - I'm open to either.

      Delete
  16. Leanne, watching your transition this year has been a joy. Letting go requires strength, conviction and faith and you have done that with such grace. We were beautifully made to live a life of abundance and to share our joy with others. You embody that premise and I have thoroughly enjoyed watching your journey. Merry Christmas and all the best for 2020. I can't wait for your new word.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Suzanne - thank you so much for your very kind words. It's so tempting when dealing with difficult people to want to bad mouth them and to justify the reasons for not putting up with the behaviour, but I've tried really hard to not go into specifics and to just work my way through things as openly as possible but without rancour. I'm so glad you thought I showed grace because that is an area I'm always working towards.
      I've got my word/s for 2020 in mind and also that I'd like to include some guest posts - so I hope you'll be putting up your hand to join in xx

      Delete
  17. I've always loved that Bible verse and while it was something Joseph said, I do believe that God can take things that other people intend for evil and make it something good (Romans 8:28 for example). I'm excited to hear your word of the year for 2020. No, I don't have a word of the year. 2019 has been good for me. A new grand baby, we still have a job and a roof over our heads, every one is healthy...no complaints.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 2019 was definitely a great (and not so great) year for me Amy - but what looked like a disaster that I was forced to deal with, turned out to be so much better than I could have imagined, so I have no complaints either. I'm working on my 2020 WOTY and can't wait to dive into it in January.

      Delete
  18. What a full year of "More" you had, Leanne. Thanks for sharing it with us, and here's to an amazing 2020! I haven't yet done my usual end of the year review. I feel like I've been in a fog with all that is happening with my Mom. I will take some quiet time over the next couple of weeks to think about where I've been and where I hope to go. #MLSTL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Christie - there are definitely times when we have to pull back and contemplate life a little, slow down and just breathe to regain some equilibrium. You've got a lot on your plate with your mum and clearing out her condo - such an emotional upheaval for you and I think giving yourself some space and some self-care is a good idea. xx

      Delete
  19. I found that leaving my unhappy job 2 years ago, started me on a journey of self-love that is still continuing today, in unexpected ways. I look forward to reading more about your journey!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bethany - I feel like I spent the first 3-6 months post-job in recovery mode. Getting my head and heart back together and repairing all the damage that had been done to me over the years I tried to hold things together in the job. It's been 9 months since I left and the last few months have been full of sunshine and peace and calm - now I'm ready for 2020 and I can't wait to see what lies ahead. Even if it's just more of the same, it will still be SO much better than what I had before!

      Delete
  20. Hi BBB you have certainly finished in a happier place for 2019 than when the year began. I can't believe it has been that long since you left your job. February!!! For me the year started well but went a bit pear shaped after our wonderful holiday to Canada and Alaska. I took on far too much and found I was drowning. 2020 will be much different for me and I will not be as reticent to take a break when I need it - even from blogging. Thanks for being a fabulous friend and cohost this year at #MLSTL. Bring on 2020 brighter and better! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sue - you've had a lot on your plate this year and it's not hard to see how that can feel a bit overwhelming at times. I've been at the opposite end of the spectrum where I've been discarding commitments and stress. I'm really looking forward to seeing where 2020 takes us both - and continuing our wonderful friendship xx

      Delete
  21. Leanne, while I did know that you retired, I seem to have missed on out on many of your posts through the year.
    I can identify with the best year and worst year feeling, but at the end of the year, like you, I'm clearer about what I want 2020 to be.
    Have a wonderful Christmas with the family and see you in the New Year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Corinne - it's lovely that you keep in touch and that you're on a similar to path to me - maybe 2019 was meant to be a clarifying year for both of us. I'm quite excited about 2020 and what it holds. I have absolutely no expectations, other than making it a peaceful and authentic year where I grow and learn some more (hopefully on my terms this time!) Merry Christmas and see you again in 2020!

      Delete
  22. I loved this word for you, Leeanne... and I especially love how you are embracing the new year/decade: I'm a free agent... finally loosening my grip enough to allow life to happen at its own pace. Wise advice which I hope to put into practice myself.

    I've saved this to my #MLSTL board so I have access to the A-Z posts anytime I need a refresher to let go and breathe deep :)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for your comment - it's where the connection begins.
If you don't have a Google account please choose "Name/URL" from the drop down arrow and type in your first name (you don't need a URL) and hit "Continue" to leave your comment.